Edition Nine.

Okay so i'm slowly starting to piece together the new edition and it will be found here before it goes to the Notice Board.







What is the best way to tell your crush that you love them? In a brightly lit room filled with tea, coffee, and creamy chocolate cake, a few HE members, desperate for love (not to mention free dinner and perhaps a pretty necklace on Valentine's Day), discussed the best way to do just that.

As your trusty journalist, I planted a tiny video camera in a vase of flowers, just for you guys. Here, after I spent hours poring over grainy footage, I give you the answers!

Streams, nibbling on cake, started off the discussion. "So how should I tell my crush that I like him? Maybe I should write him a note and see how he reacts to that? I'm a bit afraid of a face to face conversation, because how embarrassing would that be if he didn't feel the same way?"

"No, no, no!" Stephy said quickly. "I spent hours once writing my crush a note, and then he acted like he never read it." She shook her head and took a gulp of tea, wincing as it burned her tongue. "You should tell him face to face...but first, take awhile to act like you don't like him. Even though it won't get you anywhere..." She sighed.

"Guys like the chase," Streams pointed out around a mouthful of cake. "So by pretending you don't like him, you might make him run after you. On the other hand, if he thinks you're not interested, why should he put his head on the chopping block?"

"Chopping? Blocking? Choking? Ohh, chocolate! I see where you were going with that! Well," Gemma said, sliding onto a poufy chair and helping herself to a hunk of chocolate cake, "I think you should be friends with the guy first. Then you could drop little hints, and if the guy is uninterested, pretend that you were never interested either, and he was just misunderstanding your little hints!" Smirking nastily, Gemma dunked a piece of cake into her coffee.

"I've done nothing BUT drop hints for ages!" Streams moaned. "And he doesn't seem to get it!"

Stephy, trying to cool her burnt tongue by waving at it, lisped, "You could always have a mutual friend tell him for you."

"But doesn't that show that basically, I'm a coward?" Streams asked.

Leaning forward conspiratorially, Stephy said, "If you can make yourself go after him, then do that. I know I would want a guy himself to ask me out rather than getting his friend to do it for him!"

Streams clicked her tongue. "You do know I didn't hear a thing you just said, right? I mean, you were whispering and lisping at the same time."

Stephy took a huge dollop of chocolate cream with her finger, and slowly spelled out on the tablecloth: D-O-N-T W-R-I-T-E H-I-M A N-O-T-E !

"You said that already!" Streams cried. "And I still wanted some of that cream!"

"Relax, everyone," said a voice behind them, and they all jumped.

"Etta, you PROMISED. You promised you'd stop sneaking in on us!" yelled Gemma, dabbing at the cold coffee spilled on her lap.

"Oh whatever. I have popcorn!" said Etta. "And I'm here to tell you all a story about betrayal...and true love...and standing up for what you believe in...and possibly a road trip to France...dim the lights please, thank you."

And so Etta told them about how her friend once told the boy she liked that she would break up with him rather than that she loved him, causing her immense heartbreak.

Etta maintained that being straightforward was good, because even if he didn't feel the same way after she told one boy she loved him, he repaid her honesty by telling her "I just don't feel that way yet" rather than lying and saying "I love you too."

Then she told everyone a long story about the first time she and John professed their love, during which Stephy ate all the popcorn. For the record, Etta said 'I love you' first. Girl power!

"Hey guys," said June, who had quietly appeared while the lights were dimmed. "Could've saved me some popcorn."

"Um. There was popcorn?" Stephy asked delicately.

"Anyway, I think you should get close to him first, and then tell him," said June. "There's more of a chance that he'll like you back and it might be easier to get over a possible rejection. And if he accepts, then you two already know each other!"

"Something important to realize here is that maybe after you become close friends with him, you'll fall OUT of love with him." Streams smiled.

"Mood killer," said Stephy.

"Popcorn eater," Streams retorted.

"Hint dropper!"

"Note writer!"

Footage doesn't lie, but journalists often do, so Stephy and Streams did not have a noisy catfight, at the end of which the leftover cake was dropped down Etta's shirt, who had joined the nonexistent fight to pour beer on June's head.

I'm unsure where she obtained the beer, but she must have had more, because after several drunken hours they all agreed that the best way to profess true love to your crush was to push him off a cliff, and as he fell, screaming in terror, jump after him with parachutes for two and yell "I'll always be there for you, cuz I love you!"

Gemma and Streams composed a song along those lines titled Love Cliff. I believe it can be found on iTunes.

Well another year has gone and a new one is here what have the stars got hidden for you this year

Aries
March 20-April 19
You begin the year wrestling with questions about who and what are worth your effort. These aren’t easily answered, which frustrates you. However, being forced to take time over them provides unexpected insights, revealing compromises you were unaware of and hopes you’ve never properly recognised. As a result, by the life-changing eclipsed Aries New Moon on March 29, you’re prepared to say farewell to people, habits and goals you’d once have battled to keep as they are. This frees you to explore the extraordinary offers that arise in May and August. Perhaps more important, you develop a new, more intuitive approach to overcoming obstacles. This applies as much to work and relationships as to certain deeply personal issues you thought you’d just have to live with. These wouldn’t make sense if you weren’t also learning how to access powerful resources within. Although this process can be challenging, as with riding a bike, once you’ve done it, you’ll never forget.

Taurus
April 20-May 20
Last year, you made changes more far-reaching than you’d imagined possible, so aren’t in the mood for more. However, you now realise that you have more to discover, within and around you. Thus, when circumstances offer an opportunity to confront obstacles, or explore ideas or places you’ve always avoided, you’re uncharacteristically eager. You even challenge long-standing habits, some just for the sake of it. Altering your routine triggers unexpected insights; suddenly, it’s clear how much past experiences or even others’ words restrict your options. You’ve spent a lifetime believing certain goals are out of reach, or simply saying no, but suddenly you’re more inquisitive. Thus, when unexpected opportunities arise, particularly in May and late August, you actually say yes. Initially, you’re anxious about disruption, but with each new experience, you become more easy-going. You’re soon regarding even situations that force your hand as an opportunity to broaden your horizon — which is exactly what they are.

Gemini
May 21-June 20
You thrive on knowing the latest and are easily bored, yet cling ferociously to who and what are reassuringly familiar. That’s the Gemini paradox. While new ideas provide intellectual nutrition, you sometimes get mentally overwhelmed, and rely on a stable life to provide structure. During 2009, however, eclipses in March and September usher in a series of changes. This alone would be unsettling, but they take place in a setting in which both individuals and institutions are being forced to adjust themselves to a rather unsympathetic environment. Initially, you’re annoyed. But your inquisitiveness soon kicks in, and you start asking questions — of others and, more importantly, of yourself. You consider altering your lifestyle by becoming more minimalist or even moving. Or, instead of expensive clothes or holidays, you develop a passion for activities that are more stimulating — and cheaper. Having seized control of your life, you begin to tame your mind, aiming to achieve your biggest challenge: inner peace.

Cancer
June 21-July 21
It’s tricky being a Cancer. On the one hand, you’re a sensitive, creative water sign, attuned to the tides of nature and the world around you. On the other, you struggle with bouts of anxiety about everything from feelings to finances. Sometimes, these are based on valid concerns, but often they’re triggered by your mood, a rejection or even something you read. Identifying this tendency is an achievement; overcome it, and you give yourself the freedom to explore new ideas and the unfamiliar, and to take chances creatively, personally, romantically and in practical matters. With this year’s dramatic twists and stunning opportunities, this clearer perspective will be particularly helpful. So often you’re the caretaker; now you invest in your happiness and wellbeing by working on your mental, physical and spiritual health. Initially, this seems an unnecessary luxury, but not only do you become stronger when faced with challenges, the anxiety that once overshadowed love and life’s pleasures vanishes.

Leo
July 22-August 22
By now, most Leos will be aware of the demands that Saturn, in their sign, has made on them. Anything from surprise changes or challenging situations to unexpected but disruptive opportunities has shaken up your life. If you’ve already realised that what’s least welcome can often prove most illuminating, your focus shifts to learning from these demands. You may resist changes, reorganising your life grudgingly. However, things remain unsettled, forcing you to keep all arrangements loose. Initially, you complain, until you realise that your horizon is being broadened in remarkable ways. You discover intriguing people and activities; some become a new passion. As important, you balance what goes on within — your hopes and feelings — with what you do. Instead of merely occupying yourself with shopping, you undertake more charitable activities, such as distributing clothes to the homeless. Equally, your holidays combine sunbathing with disaster relief. Most important, this new balance brings you closer to those who inspire you to raise your sights.

Virgo
August 23-September 22
You combine your practicality as an earth sign with the inquisitiveness that comes with being ruled by Mercury. Yet, with your perfectionist streak, you worry. This year brings frequent, unsettling, but ultimately beneficial, changes. These give you good reason to overcome the meticulousness that holds you back and undermines your happiness. Certainly, with Virgo eclipses in mid-March and September, the unexpected forces your hand. Fast-moving developments make you rely on your capacity to gather and analyse facts swiftly, leaving you no time to worry. When you’re not concentrating on one particular task, your mind tends to drift to futile worries. Now you learn to quiet your mind. There is no single right approach. It’s about developing activities — such as gardening or martial arts — that engage the mind and body jointly. Balance that with time taken to smell the roses — literally — and you’ll create a foundation for future happiness as well.

Libra
September 23-October 22
If life has lately seemed like an elegant but ill-fitting shoe, it’s no surprise. You’ve been changing, but it’s been so slow that you won’t necessarily have noticed how much. So you’re still trying to make the old fit. As a Libra, you have no fear of change. On the contrary, the process of exploration can be so absorbing that to actually make a plan, then a commitment, can take ages. Yet during 2009, with its constant changes, you’ll need to make and revise plans regularly. If this is a struggle initially, you soon stop analysing everything, letting your instinct guide you instead. Similarly, where once you’d have worried about keeping others — particularly loved ones — happy, you realise they’ll be fine. This so alters your approach to relationships that you and everybody else are more relaxed. In addition, you finally have time for your own pursuits, from neglected hobbies to spiritual interests, and for the balance you’ve sought for so long.

Scorpio
October 23-November 21
Once, keeping life on a firm rein was your first priority. Since last October, though, when the expansive Jupiter moved into Scorpio, you’ve been learning the joys of simply allowing events to shape your schedule — and your life. This has led to abrupt changes in plans, and thrilling offers. These continue during 2009, although, as they’re unlikely to be a repeat of what’s already taken place, you’re in for more surprises. Your biggest challenge, therefore, is learning to let go. What’s least welcome could be just what’s needed. Mostly, it’s about having faith in others, and in life itself. Gifts appear in unexpected forms — such as an offer to join a friend on a transformative course, or a trip to a remarkable place. Similarly, in numerous relationships, whether personal, familial or with colleagues, you begin to drop barriers you didn’t even know were there. Suddenly, life is easier, and you discover that you can achieve happiness without a struggle.

Sagittarius
November 22-December 21
Developments late last year made it clear that it’s worth taking chances on the unexpected. As there will be two repeats of that particularly splendid aspect between your ruler, Jupiter, and Uranus during 2009, as well as some stimulating challenges, things aren’t about to settle down. Life is about learning as much as you can, meeting as many people as possible and broadening your horizons. If there’s any challenge, it’s that some of what’s involved forces you to face doubts or anxieties you’ve resolutely ignored. Delving into these isn’t fun, but it frees you from worries about them, in turn enabling you to explore elements of the world you’d previously avoided — perhaps unconsciously. This is important now, but is also preparation for the thrilling and expansive cycle that begins in late November, when Jupiter’s move into Sagittarius begins a year-long period of intense personal growth. The clearer your mind, the further you’ll go.

Capricorn
December 22-January 19
You’re beginning to realise that what you think about situations influences the outcome more than hard facts. Consider your initial negativity towards unexpected events late last year, and your attitude once you’d learnt more. The same applies during 2009. Because surprises are frequent and influence several areas of your life, the more you are prepared to consider and explore unexpected developments, the more you’ll benefit. Some involve your personal life, others your ideals or philosophy. Perhaps the most important of these require that you review your values. Initially, you regard this as pointless, until you realise that some of what you put first is unimportant compared to other interests and concerns that always take second place. You realise you’ve been short-changing yourself and decide you need to balance your life. Focus on feelings early in the year and you will reap substantial benefits before its close.


Aquarius
January 20-February 17
Between the presence of the highly spiritual Neptune in your sign and the hugely practical Saturn in your opposite sign, Leo, all year, you’re doing a juggling act. Balancing the need to explore your inner world with issues involving others and business or financial issues would require time in any year, but it’s further complicated by this year’s frequent and unsettling changes. Disruptive as they seem at the time, they force you — and everybody else — to examine your habits and various other elements of your life, eliminating anything that’s holding you back. What you learn isn’t just surprising: you’re shocked at what’s there out of habit, out of guilt or because you never thought to make changes. These insights force you to reflect on your priorities as well. What comes to light makes you realise that such reflections, both on your life and more cosmic matters, need to become a part of your daily existence.

Pisces
February 18-March 19
While you’re in the midst of some of the most exciting events of 2009, in many ways what you’re experiencing is only preparing you for an even more exciting 2010. Knowing this, as circumstances in your personal, working and domestic setup change, you won’t rush to reorganise them, but will simply rearrange things to suit you for the moment. That runs counter to your nature, but you’ll soon realise that, this year at least, it saves you wear and tear. Your time and energy are best spent examining who or what still brings you happiness and supports you, and what doesn’t. Acknowledging this isn’t easy, but certain arrangements have been little but a burden. Doing this also means you finally have time for those pursuits that make you feel better, lift your spirits and remind you of what’s most important. Make this your first priority and everything else falls into place.