Dazed

There were green, red, and blue flashes flying towards her out of the darkness ahead. "Protego!" she yelled again and again. The wind had picked up and her long brunette bangs had covered her face. She mentally yelled at herself for not taking better care of herself. Distracted, she didn't see the red flash headed her way. It hit her in the chest with excruciating pain.

Clafin Potter woke with a start, sitting straight up, and breathing deeply. She had a hollow feeling in her chest that she couldn't explain. She couldn't remember anything that had happened in her dream. The feelings made her want to break down and cry. Being the stubborn girl she had always been, she bit her bottom lip and forced the tears down as she pulled out her clothes for the day.

After getting dressed, Clafin headed down to the Great Hall for some breakfast. The sinking feeling she had when she'd first woken up had grown stronger. As she walked down the steps, the edges of her vision blurred. She kept walking until she reached an empty plate at the Gryffindor table. Her vision was flashing in and out. Squeezing her eyes shut, Clafin rested her head against her forearm on the table before her. The sounds of her fellow classmates were going from an almost deafening roar to complete silence. She tried to gain control of her senses for what seemed like hours, failing drastically.

Luke could hardly remember what happened the night before. All he knew was that the blood covering his hands and the body of the child below him told him all he needed to know. He stood up, after checking to see if the boy had a pulse of any. He closed his eyes for a few seconds before grabbing his hand to summon his clothes he had brought and hidden in the tree at the edge of the forest. He quickly dressed and leaned down to pick up the child. The child, who could have been about five years old, started coughing and Luke started walking towards the village, intending to leave the child there for someone to find. One day, he would have to find the child and explain what happened, but until then, he needed to get away from him. Minutes later, he placed the child at the other end of the forest, near a building so he could be found. The child’s brown hair stayed in his vision until he finally turned around, running as fast as he could towards the school.

The sun was coming up and he didn’t have much time to get cleaned up if he was caught on the grounds. Pieces of what had happened started to flood back to his memory, screams echoing in his ears. He twisted his head, trying to stop everything from plaguing him. When he made his way to the school, he reached for the door, only to stop. He could hear the footsteps of students making their way down stairs. Instead of walking in, he made his way towards the lake, knowing it would be the only place he would be able to wash the blood off his hands and wherever else the blood was.

The water was freezing at first, but soon the heat from his body made the water barely. The fish and other aquatic animals swam around him, some touching him, some smelling the blood that had been on him. The sun had finally come up, resting in the sky, its light warming the earth silently. He pulled himself out of the water, shaking his head to get the hair from his face.


*sorry for being slow D:*

Clafin reached her free hand to grasp a goblet of pumpkin juice. If she had been paying attention to people around her, she would have gained a few worried glances. Her hand was shaking with the force she using to hold the cup. She raised her head slowly, eyes still closed, and took a slow drink. She could feel it slide down her throat but she couldn't taste anything. After a few minutes she decided to give up on nourishment.

She pushed herself up from the table and started walking. She didn't know where she was going to go, but she knew she needed to get some fresh air. Her feet carried faster than she had expected. The doors to the castle seemed to fly open as she passed them. The cold wind bit at her rosy cheeks as it blew her hair into wispy strands. The sun was shining down with power that was nearly blinding.

Clafin shut her eyes and just continued to walk. Her head felt like everything was spinning. She couldn't remember what she could have possibly down to make her feel so awful. Her hearing still hadn't returned fully. She felt as though she were underwater. She reached up to rub her head as she ran into something tall and wet.

"Oh. Erm.. Sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going." she murmured as she bowed her head to the ground, hoping that whoever she had run into wouldn't notice that she was squeezing her eyes shut. The last thing she wanted was for someone take her to the Hospital Wing, yet again.

In the attempt to shake the water from his hair, he failed to notice someone walking towards him. He didn’t have to wait long to find out who it was after they walked into him. He could recognize her smell anywhere. His eyes were closed as he inhaled deeply. He hoped all the blood had washed from his body, but he couldn’t be sure about it. His eyes opened slowly and he looked down. Clafin had fallen, like always, with her eyes shut. A smile graced his lips as he crouched down.

“Hello, beautiful,” he said softly, his hand reaching out to push her hair back. “Do you need to go to the Hospital Wing?” he asked her, waiting for her to open her eyes and respond. It had been days, maybe weeks since he had seen her. It had been avoiding her, like Violet had warned him too. He bit the inside of his cheek, to keep from saying something completely outrageous. Luke stood back up, running a hand through his hair.

Clafin froze as she heard him speak. She just shook her head violently at his question about the Hospital Wing. She let out a huff of aggravation as she pulled herself from the ground. She stood with her body towards him but kept her face to the ground, hiding behind her mass of chocolate coloured hair.

She bit her lip, trying to stop herself from asking him the questions that had haunted her mind for the past few weeks. "No, I don't need to go to the Hospital Wing." she said shortly, still shaking her head. "Even if I did need to go, I wouldn't. They are getting rather tired of me up there." she added on in a quiet and embarrassed voice.

She wanted nothing more than to look up and see Luke's face, but was afraid of the sharp pains the light was sure to give her. She hadn't been this close to him in weeks. Every time she called out to him in the corridors, he seemed to disappear from sight. She told herself that he must have been busy or something of the sort, but after the first few times she knew he was avoiding her. The hollow feeling in her chest suddenly deepened and she lifted her curled fist up to her heart.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you." she said quietly. "I'll just... er... yeah." she started, not knowing what to do or say. She tried to open her eyes slowly, the edges were still blurred but the light wasn't as blinding now. She lifted her eyes to his and let out a small sigh. She was sure that she'd never get over how gorgeous Luke was. Even if he does ignore you all the time. she thought to herself. She focused hard on making herself appear to be alright. "Yeah, sorry." she said after several minutes. "I'll just be going then." she said in a regretful voice as she began to walk past him, along the shoreline.

Luke raised his eyebrow, letting her just talk. Her voice was like a melody that he could play over and never get tired of. He could hear the hurt and anger hidden in the undertones of her voice and felt a small pang in his chest. She wouldn’t understand, they never do. Her eyes were still closed, but he was sure if they were opened, he would see thousands of emotions play across them. It was true, the eyes were the window to the soul and sometimes, it was heart breaking to see into them. He let out a sigh, turning around for a few seconds with his hands resting on top of his head.

He turned around in time to watch her stand up. She had refused to go to the hospital wing, which he knew she would have done anyways. Whenever he was around, that was the one thing she always refused to do, or at least, it seemed that way. He crossed his arms over his chest, twisting his head to look at her. “You were always so damn stubborn,” he told her softly, as her eyes finally started to open. As she walked by, he rolled his eyes, unfolding his arms and grabbing her arm a bit more harshly than he should have.

“Now now, manners. It’s rude to leave someone just standing,” he told her, pulling her back towards him. “Just because the hospital wing is tired of you doesn’t mean I am,” he said, wishing to pull her close and hold her tight. He knew he shouldn’t have ignored her for weeks, even though she knew he was a werewolf. There were just some things mortal didn’t know about nor needed to.

Clafin couldn't help but to let an exasperated snort out as Luke spoke. She eyes snapped to his in a cold glare. "Let go of me, Luke." she said in an almost impassive tone. She glanced down to where his hand had grasped onto her arm. She knew she shouldn't feel this way, but deep down she was relieved that he had at least tried to make some sort of contact with her.

She closed her eyes once more and took a deep breath. Everything still felt as though it were spinning around her, but this time she had closed her eyes in hurt as she forced her the tears that were forming to vanish. After another deep breath she looked back up into Luke's eyes. There were a thousand different things she could see behind them, but none of them seemed to come through clearly.

With an annoyed huff, she began to speak. "And you," she paused as she poked him in the chest. "Have no right to scold me on manners," she continued, poking him with each word for emphasis. "I don't know about you, but I find that ignoring someone for weeks on end is far more offensive than walking away from someone who doesn't want to talk to you in the first place," the anger and hurt in her voice becoming more apparent with each word. "As for you not being tired of me," she said in a now extremely aggitated voice along with air quotes. "You have proved yourself wrong, on that one. Now haven't you?" she finally finished.

She continued staring up at him as what she had just said sunk in. She could feel the blood rising in her cheeks and she suddenly became aware of how pathetic she must look, with her watery eyes, rosy cheeks, and hair blown every way it wasn't supposed to. This thought made her cheeks burn even more. She tored her gaze to the ground in embarrassment. "Sorry," she muttered. "That was uncalled for."

Luke glared back at her, his hand tighten just a bit on her arm. He wasn’t about to let her walk off, not again. The last time he had been around her, this had fight which resulted in him leaving. He was tired of the bitterness and the resentment that she pushed onto him. He didn’t care too much for what she wanted anymore. If she wanted to get away from him, she could do it in a snap. His closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down. He knew if he let his wolf side come out, it would spell disaster. Just count to three and you will be ok…. he told himself.


He decided to let her talk. It was no use in fighting with her on the subject. It made everything easier if they played by her game. But while she talked, he kept his eyes closed, letting his other senses take control. His anger started to lessen and his mind started to roam. His eyes opened, however, when she started poking him in the chest. He decided to let her finish, his anger slowly building back up.

If looks could kill, he was sure she would be dead over a hundred times. “It may be uncalled for, but that doesn’t stop the fact you said it,” he told her, letting her arm go. “Has it ever went through that thick skull of yours I done what I did to protect you?” he asked her, his eyes still narrowed. “No, you are to self-fish to realize that the world is not about you, Clafin.”

"Me, selfish?" she repeated in a stunned voice. "Apparently, I'm not the only one with a thick skull." she continued in a vicious tone. "How could you be so daft to not realize that I knew what I was getting in to with you? Of course I knew it wouldn't be safe all the time. I'm well aware that the world isn't about me. I would rather die than have it be that way," she said as the venom in her voice began to slowly lessen.

She took a step back from him, to look up into his eyes. Clafin couldn't gather the words that were racing through her head into her mouth. She bit her bottom lip slightly, holding back the tears that were continuing to swell in her eyes. She found herself wondering if this is what he had always thought of her. The thought made the hollow aching in her chest change to a sharp and painful stab. Her pulse was racing and her breathe quickening along with it.

She closed her eyes as her vision began to get blurry once more. A single tear burning down her cheek, betraying her in every way. She took a deep breathe and slowly began speaking again. "Do you not understand how worried I get about you? You disappear for weeks and avoid me as though I were a blast ended skrewt. I have no idea what you're going through, I know... but that doesn't stop me from wanting to Luke." she said in a surprisingly calm voice. She still felt as though she were being whirled about in outer space, but opened her eyes to try to get a glimpse of emotion in his eyes.