Tales of the Hippo

Tales of the Hippo

The HE Purple Hippo can get into all sorts of mischief, and it's your job for this challenge to write all about it.

Write a short story about the purple hippo and his adventures at Hogwarts. It can be any length you wish - from a short drabble at under 500 words, to a full length one-shot.

If you're writing a drabble-sized story (under 500 words), post it directly into the thread, but if your story turns out longer than that, please post it at our fanfiction archive, The Hogwarts Quill.

The only rule is that the story MUST feature the purple hippo! Feel free to include yourself and any other site members in your story.

Points
1st Place: 200 points
2nd Place: 170 points
3rd Place: 150 points
Everyone who enters: 100 points

Have fun!

Notes: I... have no explanation for this. I had a very bizarre discussion with a co-worker about hybrid animals and Harry Potter and god knows what else, and THIS was the end result. My sincerest apologies to you all. lol

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Hipllamas

“And that's why purple hippo can never mate with a llama,” Elfie finished with a flourish, just as Raistlin walked in to Amy’s work area.

Raistlin blinked twice. He opened his mouth, then closed it. He shook his head. “I don't wanna know, do I?”

Amy had one hand over her eyes. She peeked through the crack between hier fingers and nodded slowly. “Just. Don't. Ask.”

“Ask what?” Rigby joined them.

“About the purple hippo,” Elfie informed her. “And llamas. And how they can't have babies because it would destroy the world.”

Rigby tilted her head to the side, studying the headmistress for a minute. Then she nodded once, and turned to Raistlin. “Okay, what kind of comment did you make?”

Raistlin held up his hands. “Hey, don't look at me! For once, I'm innocent.”

“Well, gotta give my purple hippo some cuddle time. He's all depressed because of the whole llama thing.”

Rigby couldn't help it. “What llama thing?” she asked, ignoring Amy's flapping arms and silent, open-mouthed shouts of 'No Rigby! Don't!'

Elfie positively beamed. “I'm so glad you asked!”

Rigby was then most thoroughly educated on the dangers of spitting llamas mating with large purple hippos of any kind because the resulting offspring of such a union would be completely ridiculous. Imagine a huge, big, purple, furry, spitting, yawning, swimming of such a thing and all it could do. And scientists, having successfully created the 'Hipllama', would no doubt begin engineering variations like spitting acid or purple fur. And the only natural progression from that scenario was of course, the entire colony of hippo-llamas gaining humanoid intelligence and taking over the world.

“...all while being fashionably attired in the choicest alpaca wool sweaters,” Elfie finished some time later. “And that's why my purple hippo can never mate with a llama.”

“Because it would result in the end of the world,” Rigby said faintly.

Elfie nodded, obviously pleased that Rigby understood so well.

Raistlin shook his head and left, muttering about the need for serious medication.

Amy followed, wondering where the aforementioned medications were kept.

Rigby went back to her classroom, safe in the knowledge that insanity could not permeate the thick, reinforced walls.

And Elfie, having finished his second lecture of the evening, decided that Severus needed to be informed of the need to keep the world safe from 'Hipllamas' and hurried off to do just that.

Bobina's Final Wander.


Bobina the resident purple hippo of the Hogwarts Experience was well aware of staying away from the Hufflepuff common room and the Divination tower. Too many members of staff had visited her nest to advise her that her safety within the walls of H.E was at risk should she ever venture out to either areas. But being the curious and adventurous hippo that she was, Bobina found herself off on a wonder whilst the school slept.

shuffle. Shuffle.

BANG!

"urgh arg ergh burrrrrrrrrrrrp," hiccuped the fulll mouth of Hufflepuff's Head of House and resident Divination professor Etta.

"eeek, squeel, eeek, meeeeeeep," squarmed Bobina as her head became trapped within the mouth of Etta.

"ERLACK!" spat Etta, spitting Bobina's head out. "Yuck."

"Charming." muttered bobina as she readjusted her head and straitened her polka dotted tutu. Her eyes gazed at Etta and she gulped hard. "uh oh."

"Oh Bobina!" squeaked Etta charmingly innocent. "Deary why did you fall through my door whilst i was having roasted lion?"

"accident," mumbled Bobina in fear of the mad woman before her.

"Oh you poor thing," sighed Etta sweetly. "Care for some roasted Lion? Or maybe fried snake? I also have a bird slowly cooking over the fire if you care for a wing?"

"No thank you."

"Okay ... Are you lost?"

"yes....No...um."

"Either you are or you aren't."

"I am but i have this tracking devious in bedded in my ear so Elfie knows of my whereabouts."

"Really?" asked Etta, Bobina nodded solemnly. "Come, let me escort you back to your nest."

"Its okay ..."

"Oh but i insist!"

"Oh, okay then," sighed Bobina as Etta pulled her hurriedly down the spiral staircase to the lower levels of the castle.

"I must admit, i never expected to find you up in the tower," laughed Etta. "I've heard the horror stories the rest of the staff feed to the young members."

"Stories?"

"Oh yes, about how I'm always eating purple hippos."

"Really? I've never heard them," gulped Bobina as they stepped out on to the main entrance landing.

"Good, good.... Well here we are then," smiled Etta.

"Thank you ... Um ... So you're not going to eat me?"

"Oh no," grinned etta rather sweetly.

"Oh good."

"Perhaps you will visit me one day ... preferably before midnight," smiled Etta.

"I will!" smiled Bobina. "I'll come up tomorrow afternoon."

"Wonderful we can have tea and crumpets!"

"Oh crumpets! I love crumpets," cooed Bobina. "See you tomorrow!"

The following afternoon as the clock snaked it's way to four p.m, Bobina made her way to the Divination tower. She arrived at one minute past and knocked on the door.
Etta greeted her like an old friend,but an odd hungry look haunted Etta's unusual eyes.

"Am i late?" asked Bobina casually, her eyes lingering on the open roasting dish.

"Oh no dear, you're just in time," smiled Etta. "Come in."

"Can i ask why you didn't eat me last night?" enquired Bobina as she sat down and reached for a crumpet coated in butter.

"Oh that ... Well ... I was rather full after my midnight feast, i enjoy four square meals a day, breakfast lunch, dinner and supper."

"And what are you cooking for dinner?" asked Bobina, inhaling the deep smell of burning roses, jasmine and lemon juice.

"you dear."

"Me?"

"Yes," smiled Etta as she slammed a frying pan down on to Bobina's head, knocking the hippo unconscious. "Roasted Hippo, yum yum ... time to message Rai i believe, it is after all his favorite meal, a meal which Elfie would never allow him to have. Come my little huffies let us eat!"

Etta's mad cackles could be heard all the way down to the dungeons, Elfie began to grow worried after seeing Rai running with a manic hungry look on his face up to the Divination tower, to make matters worse, all of hufflepuff were absent from dinner that night, and Bobina was yet to make an appearance.

Placing her knife and fork down Elfie leaned over to Amy and Kate and whispered quietly.

"I think Etta has Bobina."

"I think she has snuffles the Gryffindor Lion," whispered amy.

"I think she has squeak the Ravenclaw Raven," whispered Kate.

"I KNOW she has already had them," snickered Severus Snape as he unwrapped a food parcel stamped with a badger paw print and began to nibble away on what appeared to be a roasted hippo leg.


*runs back to tower before over cooking Bobina*

Because there were only three entries to this challenge, all participants earn 200 points.

Well done!