Opinion: How to Profess Your Love to Your Crush

OK. So. Let's say you've had this crush since forever. And now, what with the holidays coming up, you remember last year's New Year's resolution, which was to tell your crush that you love him/her. But you haven't done it yet, and the deadline's really close. You have to tell them that you love them. There's no time to waste. What's the best way to do it?

Should you break it to them slowly and gently, say by first going out on a couple of dates and then shyly telling them?

Should you just spring it on them with no warning whatsoever?

Should you plan a romantic get-together and then tell them?

Should you not tell them at all, New Year's resolution be darned, because you just can't bear it if they would say that they don't feel the same way about you?

Should you push them off a cliff, and as they fall, screaming, jump after them with parachutes for two, and catch them and then say, "I'll always be there for you, cuz I love you!"

Er. Right. Not that last one. Maybe you could leave them a note? Send a text? Write an email? Do it over IM? Give them a gift?

Let's hear your ideas please, and what you think is the best way to tell the crush you've had since forever that you love them.

OK, so telling him by note is a bad idea, and telling him face to face is preferred. Duly noted.

What if you keep dropping hints and he just doesn't seem to get it?

How can you KNOW, before you embarrass yourself with a full-fledged speech of lurrve - how can you be sure that he'll like you back? Is there any way of double-checking this, or do you just have to go for it?

Another thing - do you think it's better to never tell him, to just love him from afar and hope that one day he'll profess his love to you - or do you think that you should work up the guts to just tell him?

Help help help!

OK so last week, trying the slow-and-steady method, I asked my crush over to my place and we hung out for awhile playing games. I had a great time, but I've no clue if he did. When I asked him yesterday if he wanted to meet me at a coffee place nearby, he said, and I quote, 'that would be nice, but I have other plans.'

What does that mean??? Is he not interested? Does he really simply have other plans? Should I try asking him out again, or is that just desperate?

I thought of getting a friend to do the dirty work for me lol but then doesn't that show that I have no guts? Like I'm too scared to do it on my own? I'd like to appear mature here, rather than have him think I depend on my friends to do stuff for me...I dunno.

Or maybe he, being a guy, wouldn't even think this much into it and I should just send a friend over? I'm confused...

*sneaks in with popcorn*

I'm with Gemma, push him off a cliff!!!!

I've always been straightforward when it comes to love.

I once had a friend tell a boy i liked that i loved him, she was my best friend. Instead of telling him i loved him, she told him i was going to dump him for his mate. HEARTBREAK!

So since then, i've ignored my shyness (which i do actually have with guys!) and just told them.

One boy i told, was very sweet and said "I just don't feel that way yet." which was cool, because at least he was honest with me and never lied by saying "i love you two."

My personal favorite, was when i told John i loved him lol. A few days before we were with friends, playing pool and we decided to go put some music on the jukebox, we were standing there bickering when my friend went "aww so in love!" to us which made us both deny it a bit too much. So, fast-forward a few days and were out at a friends house, i'd like to add that i did not intentionally get John's God-daughter drunk, she was 3 at the time and loved the taste of my cocktail! Anyway, we were all out in the back garden, drinking, laughing chilling, everything, when my friend said again that we looked like we were in love, a lot of humming and harring later, and John made me say it first, so i told him i love him, he said he loved me, big kiss and then we continued the party.


So yes, always push aside your shyness or embarrassment and take the bull by the horns and just tell him. I'm not going to lie and say its easy, it's not, but you need to do it, because one day, if you meet a man who is too shy to ask you to marry him for fear of rejection, what is he gonna do? Get his friend to do it for him? Nah, he has to do it, just like you have to take the first step, men are like children, just take them by the hand and give them food.

*watches a tumbleweed roll on by*

I love the idea of pushing him off a cliff .

But if that's not a choice? Then definitely don't *not* tell him. I've done it before and when my crush dated someone else, I had no one to blame but myself for keeping my feelings to myself, and it really really sucked.

I'd just tell him face to face, after getting closer to him as a friend like someone else suggested. Once you get to know him better and vice versa, there's more of a chance that he'll like you back and it might be easier to get over a possible rejection. But if he accepts, then you two already know each other so everything's great! So yeah, I think you should tell him yourself after being better friends with him.

Just my two cents .

ATTENTION PEOPLE, THIS DISCUSSION IS NOW CLOSED! *dashes PM off to Ettie to lock this thing*

------------------

ADVICE IN TIME FOR VALENTINE'S DAY
by SoS

What is the best way to tell your crush that you love them? In a brightly lit room filled with tea, coffee, and creamy chocolate cake, a few HE members, desperate for love (not to mention free dinner and perhaps a pretty necklace on Valentine's Day), discussed the best way to do just that.

As your trusty journalist, I planted a tiny video camera in a vase of flowers, just for you guys. Here, after I spent hours poring over grainy footage, I give you the answers!

Streams, nibbling on cake, started off the discussion. "So how should I tell my crush that I like him? Maybe I should write him a note and see how he reacts to that? I'm a bit afraid of a face to face conversation, because how embarrassing would that be if he didn't feel the same way?"

"No, no, no!" Stephy said quickly. "I spent hours once writing my crush a note, and then he acted like he never read it." She shook her head and took a gulp of tea, wincing as it burned her tongue. "You should tell him face to face...but first, take awhile to act like you don't like him. Even though it won't get you anywhere..." She sighed.

"Guys like the chase," Streams pointed out around a mouthful of cake. "So by pretending you don't like him, you might make him run after you. On the other hand, if he thinks you're not interested, why should he put his head on the chopping block?"

"Chopping? Blocking? Choking? Ohh, chocolate! I see where you were going with that! Well," Gemma said, sliding onto a poufy chair and helping herself to a hunk of chocolate cake, "I think you should be friends with the guy first. Then you could drop little hints, and if the guy is uninterested, pretend that you were never interested either, and he was just misunderstanding your little hints!" Smirking nastily, Gemma dunked a piece of cake into her coffee.

"I've done nothing BUT drop hints for ages!" Streams moaned. "And he doesn't seem to get it!"

Stephy, trying to cool her burnt tongue by waving at it, lisped, "You could always have a mutual friend tell him for you."

"But doesn't that show that basically, I'm a coward?" Streams asked.

Leaning forward conspiratorially, Stephy said, "If you can make yourself go after him, then do that. I know I would want a guy himself to ask me out rather than getting his friend to do it for him!"

Streams clicked her tongue. "You do know I didn't hear a thing you just said, right? I mean, you were whispering and lisping at the same time."

Stephy took a huge dollop of chocolate cream with her finger, and slowly spelled out on the tablecloth: D-O-N-T W-R-I-T-E H-I-M A N-O-T-E !

"You said that already!" Streams cried. "And I still wanted some of that cream!"

"Relax, everyone," said a voice behind them, and they all jumped.

"Etta, you PROMISED. You promised you'd stop sneaking in on us!" yelled Gemma, dabbing at the cold coffee spilled on her lap.

"Oh whatever. I have popcorn!" said Etta. "And I'm here to tell you all a story about betrayal...and true love...and standing up for what you believe in...and possibly a road trip to France...dim the lights please, thank you."

And so Etta told them about how her friend once told the boy she liked that she would break up with him rather than that she loved him, causing her immense heartbreak.

Etta maintained that being straightforward was good, because even if he didn't feel the same way after she told one boy she loved him, he repaid her honesty by telling her "I just don't feel that way yet" rather than lying and saying "I love you too."

Then she told everyone a long story about the first time she and John professed their love, during which Stephy ate all the popcorn. For the record, Etta said 'I love you' first. Girl power!

"Hey guys," said June, who had quietly appeared while the lights were dimmed. "Could've saved me some popcorn."

"Um. There was popcorn?" Stephy asked delicately.

"Anyway, I think you should get close to him first, and then tell him," said June. "There's more of a chance that he'll like you back and it might be easier to get over a possible rejection. And if he accepts, then you two already know each other!"

"Something important to realize here is that maybe after you become close friends with him, you'll fall OUT of love with him." Streams smiled.

"Mood killer," said Stephy.

"Popcorn eater," Streams retorted.

"Hint dropper!"

"Note writer!"

Footage doesn't lie, but journalists often do, so Stephy and Streams did not have a noisy catfight, at the end of which the leftover cake was dropped down Etta's shirt, who had joined the nonexistent fight to pour beer on June's head.

I'm unsure where she obtained the beer, but she must have had more, because after several drunken hours they all agreed that the best way to profess true love to your crush was to push him off a cliff, and as he fell, screaming in terror, jump after him with parachutes for two and yell "I'll always be there for you, cuz I love you!"

Gemma and Streams composed a song along those lines titled Love Cliff. I believe it can be found on iTunes.