If YOU came with Instructions what would they say?

A big sign on my forehead that says 'MADE BY MUM AND DAD' :D

1. Shake before use
2. Don't keep in sun or under -25 celsius
3. Beware for random outbursts of pure anger and terrifying wrath
4. Keep away from children!
5. Remember to never think otherwise

(...will come up with more later...)

xD

1) just shut up and let her talk
2) ok now TALK duh! don't you know anything?
3) Don't let the convo ever go to anything about food
4) don't bring the subject to how she looks
5) bring some duct tape. Talking may become very loud
6) NEVER say anything about her mood. She gets moodyer.
7) Compliment her writing if you can
8) don't talk about her mistakes
9) take most mean jokes she says as funny. that's what they're meant to be
10) Remember, sarcasm is the key to a healthy becca life
11)play music nonstop
12) ask her if she'd like something caffeinated.
13) don't be afraid to yell at her 9warning- she'll yell back)
14) don't be afraid to get your ego damaged considerably.

I'd have a post-it thingy in my leg saying: Priceless :D

Instructions:

1. Needs to use the Internet at least once a day
2. ALWAYS CARRY HER IPOD WITH HER
3. Beware of random singing and possible dancing
4. Needs to fall in her inlines at least three times a week
5. Keep in someplace fresh and dry
6. Don't disturb when watching Anime
7. Keep away from couples unless you want her to squee

Well first of it would say comes in a package (with my andy)

Instructions:

1. Keep Her Harry Potter stuff with her ALL the time
2. Beware gets angry easly
3. Must use internet for at least 3 hours a day
4. This person is very attention seeking so give them lots of attention
5. Do not touch her Harry Potter stuff

non-returnable....lol

1. Caution. Baby inside
2. Keep away from the kitchen
3. Hide any chocolate
4. All bark and no bite
5. Beware: Is insane
6. Requires hugs and kisses (hehe)
7. Careful: Extremely clumsy.

May have defects

Needed:
4 cups of coffee per day
Duck tape
Carbs
and ropes.

Welcome:
You have just bought a brand new Jessica! To handle the Jessica please follow the simple instructions below. Have fun with her!


Instructions:
To start up the Jessica Machine, take a hott cup of coffee and run it under he nose. Imediate reaction should follow. If she still does not awake please call the number at the bottom of this page for assistance.

Once your Jessica has been awaken. Let her drink the coffee you have and then proceed to have her do things with you. Mild complaining might occur.

If you encounter a talking slump, where the Jessica continues to talk nonstop. Take the duck tape and tape it over her mouth. She then will try to proceed to take it off so please sit her down and tie her with the rope to a chair. Wait about ten minnutes and the talking slump will be over.

To turn off the Jessica stop feeding her coffee.


We can not be held responsible for any abuse or broken objects that the Jessica may have caused.
If you encounter problems please call
1-800-BROK-JESS

Don't Keep Inside
Easily Angered
Warning: Random moments

My instructions would be in Amberisms XD

How to take care of your new Amber:

1) Stand at least 10 feet away when waking her up*
2) Don't try to feed her any breakfast foods
3) Give at least one new book/notebook per every two days
4) Allow at least a few hours online a day
5) Sit and watch Gilmore Girls and Charmed with her
6) Let her eat as she pleases
7) Don't argue. Ever. You won't win.
8) Beware of random comments and/or singing and dancing

*- Actual ranges could be greater or lesser depending on amount of sleep

An Amber isn't right for you if you are easily annoyed, or actually want on your computer. Serious risks include very hurtful comments while trying to wake her up, and/or if you annoy her, so you shouldn't get an Amber if you are overly emotional or easily hurt by words. Ask your pyscratrist before buying one as it may not be right for your sanity.

Taking care of Kitty- a hefty responsibility so be sure you know what you are getting into.

1. Remember to hold her carefully
2. Have a large supply of catnip on hand
3. Chocolate is a must have 24/7
4. Keep the room temperature pleasant
5. Don't disturb here in the wee hours in the morning
6. Make sure her blankets are soft and clean
7. She must have at least 5 pillows on her bed
8. Give her computer time when she wants it
9. Spoil her
10. Never yell or disagree with her without life insurance

Enjoy your sweet little kitty

1. Always Give her acess to web
2. caution: keep 2 metres away
3. do not touch her stuff
4. always haev chocolate on hand in case of sugar drop


ag

Instructions
-Spoil your Moira occasionally
-Always have a pepsi on hand
-Never insult Ireland in anyway, or the french language
-Always allow ample computer and reading time
-Provide your Moira with chapstick daily
-Always keep well fed
-Be prepared to discuss Harry Potter until the cows come home(and they never do!)


It is not advisable to purchase a Moira if you experience the following:
-Preference for coke products
-Lack of interest in all things Harry Potter
-Intolerable attitude towards random, unimportant facts
-Dislike of curly hair
-General lack of patience



haha that was fun

Instructions

- Don't get her excited
- Make sure to have a sedate in hand (loll)
- Give Chocolate daily and plenty of water
- Stand a few feet away after waking her up
- Do not get her angry
- Keep any sort of bugs away

Congratulations! You are the unlucky new owner of a Kathrine!
PLease follow these instructions to keep her happy:
1. Have chocolate nearby at all times
2. Never take//leav the house//break her cellphone//iPod// digital camera
2. Ignore the fact that there is no number three
4.spoil at every holiday
5. give at least 4 hours of computer time a day
6. leave her ALONE


warnings!!!
after waking, leave the room quickly, as she ids dizzy, confused, and mad at the fact that you disturbed her beauty rest.
In case of accidental breaking of cellphone//iPod//digital camers, go buy a new one within an hour.
If you run out of chocolate, go buy some, unless you want to deal with a crabby Kathrine.
Kathrine does NOT need constant companionship. Let her come to you

MUST HAVES
cute boy
chocolate
frineds (not you)
hp books
cellphone//iPod//digital camers (all three, or she will not turn on)

FAQ
Q. My Kathrine will not turn on. What should I do???
A.wave the chocolate under her nose. as she wakes, RUN!!!!!
Q. There have been some strange deaths around my neightborhood, and thefts. I noticed this happened after i got my Kathrine. Any explanitions, tips and such???
A. yeah, tell the idiots not to get on Kathrines bad side.


Any questions or concerns, call 1-800-Kat Killed My Dog
www.Kathrineismad.not

Notice: Ask you doctor before getting a Kathrine if you suffer deprission, suicidal thoughts, or are a general dork//geek//loser//hippie.