Amusing Away Messages

Amusing Away Messages


I came across some amusing away messages that some people stick in their profiles/signatures and/or IM profiles when away from the computer for either a short while or a long while.

I thought id put a few here - add some more if you know any

My stomach is growling and I'm answering.

Hello. Is your fridge running? Well mine is and I'm around the house trying to catch it. So I'll be back later.

Away message:To be continued...

Gone crazy. Be back soon.

Sorry I'm not here right now, I'm lost in thought and seeing as it's unfamiliar territory I might be gone for a while.

Computer $1000
Internet subscription $30 a month
MSN Messenger $0
Keeping you busy with this away message: PRICELESS

I'm walking my goldfish. Be right back.

I'm spinning in my new expensive computer chair. So I'm away... Now I'm back... Away again... Back!.. And away..

Hello
from the Community of the Insane Asylum! We are sorry to announce that
the occupant of this screen name is not here right now. They are
currently rocking to-and-fro in a straight jacket, in a padded room.
Please leave a message and they will get back to you as soon as they
have regained sanity. Which may take quite a while, but we hope that
you care enough about them to wait.

I
can't talk on the computer now, so if, well, actually, I CAN talk on
the computer now, I mean, like, I'm at the computer NOW, writing this
message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're reading it LATER, except
for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're reading it... I mean, like,
wait, gosh. This is so confusing.

I'm lost. I've gone to look for myself, so if I get back before I return, please ask me to wait.

Did you know by reading this message you have wasted 14 seconds of your life?

I love this: "I'm lost. I've gone to look for myself, so if I get back before I return, please ask me to wait." I have used it before. It makes me laugh everytime.


Some more:

(YOUR NAME)'s computer is broken right now. This is her fridge. Now, you can leave a message, but say it slowly, so I can write it on a post-it note and stick it to myself.

My computer lost my away message.

I had to make like a ball and bounce.


Hey wait, let me decide I'm here or not... till then please leave your message. I will get in touch with you once I get out of this confusion.


I am not at my desk at the moment, but I am close by. But if you yell real loud into your monitor...I might hear you, if not, I'll be back later.


If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring only one thing, what would it be? For those of you who didn't say a boat, I don't think I'll be talking to you anytime soon. For the rest of you, feel free to leave me a message.

Would you believe me if I told you I was away? I didn't think so. Well, I'm not away, do you believe that? I didn't think so either. Boy, this is going to be harder than I thought.


Sorry I'm not here right now because the mouse ran away with the computer and I jumped over the moon, I'll be back... someday.


---Will update with more later...

Here is a link to some Harry Potter away messages but I will post my favorites:
Page 1:
http://www.mugglenet.com/messengerstuff/awaymessages.shtml

Page 2:
http://www.mugglenet.com/messengerstuff/awaymessages2.shtml


"Seeing away messages no one else can see isn't a good sign, even in the Wizarding World."


Fluffy ate me. (heheehe! for some reason that one just cracks me up!)


You have reached the offices of the Supreme Lord Voldemort. His Exquisite Evilness is in a meeting with his Death Eaters, crafting deviously sinister plans for the demise of one Harold Potter. Please try again after the All Powerful Dark Master has conquered the Earth. Thank you and have a nice day.

Fresh out of skiving snackboxes, so I'm doing my homework. (I use this one a lot)


Mister Moony presents his compliments to %n, and begs him to keep his abnormaly large nose out of other people's business.
Mister Prongs agrees with Mister Moony and would like to add that %n is an ugly git.
Mister Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that would have a screenname at all.
Mister Wormtail bids %n good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball. (I used this one for a bit with my chorus teacher's name in it!)


Dear %n,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizard and Wizardry. Just keep staring at this away message and it will give you your booklist. No, really. Just. Keep. Staring.

K! That's all!

I love all of those. I usually go to iconator.com because there funny and they have a lot.

hahaha! those were really good! I just copied them onto an e-mail and sent them to myself so I would always know what they were! hehehe! (7 more posts till I'm a 5th year! sooo excited!)

My friend has one that says this: When life gives u lemons make lemonade. Then find somone who's life gave them vodca and throw a party!

And the following have been used by me or my friends:
If you want to know where I am call a psychic! If you're too lazy to do that just leave me a message!

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you...

Hello, you have reached the automated answering service for gothemopunk666, your message will be answered to in the order in which it was recieved, your message is number 8,243, please hold, your message is important to me.

Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

'ello ole shap 'ow da govna (If you can read that, I personally applaud you! < - thats not part of the away message haha)

Quote :

I'm spinning in my new expensive computer chair. So I'm away... Now I'm back... Away again... Back!.. And away..

That one made me about spit laughing. Several others did too, but this was my personal favourite.

This is a sad and funny away message. The sad thing is you're IMing me thinking that I'm going to respond and the funny thing is that I'm sitting in front of the computer staring at the screen rolling on the floor laughing watching you IM me.

You have just recieved the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation. (positively brilliant, I think)

People that scan away messages for entertainment are pathetic. Let me know if you find any good ones.

I have been temporarily distracted by a shiny object. (That one fits me...Ooh look at the kitty!)

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Some away messages rhyme, and some don't.
(Don't know why that one amused me so much)

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now start over and read the sentence without the word cat.

Clare will be right back in a minute as she's having her tea, signed, her Mother.

BRB, mum wants me to have my bath.

"I'm away to the loo, be right back," said the girl with bowel trouble.

I helping potty train my dog...don't wanna talk about it.

Lol
LucyXX