Could you do better than Jo?

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Subject: Could you do better than Jo? Sat Feb 23 2008, 10:34

Could you do better than Jo?

This class is designed to see if you could be a better writer than J. K. Rowling. There are three different tasks to test this. Also, you must make sure that you have good spelling, punctuation and grammar (SPAG) and also a good quality of written communication (QWC). You may get marks deducted if you do not. For this class there is no upper word limit for any of the sections but, don't write too much!

Openings
The opening of a story is possibly one of the most important sections. It helps to set the scene and draw the reader in to the book. J. K. Rowling has a pretty conventional opening to her stories and she tends to use the same one in each book. For your first task I want you to think of an alternate opening to one of the Harry Potter books. It must be at least 250 words.
(Possible points: 40)

Endings
Some people were not so happy with the ending of the 7th book and I’m sure we all envisaged a different one – whether it was dramatically different or only slightly. Do you think that there was a better way to end the book? For this you don’t have to do any actual writing, just a point by point summary of what you think should have happened.
(Possible points: 20)

Different Viewpoints
Now, I’d like you to put yourself in to Jo’s footsteps for a moment. You’ve closed the book on the Harry Potter series and you know that a lot of fans out there were devastated. So you have a surprise up your sleeve. You’re going to release a short continuation of the series for charity, but it has to be from another characters point of view. (Not Harry’s!) Pick a MINOR event from the series and write it from your character’s point of view. And by a minor event I mean, not something like the last battle. :D You have to write at least 250 words.
(Possible Points: 40)

Total Number of Points Possible: 100

Subject: Re: Could you do better than Jo? Sun Feb 24 2008, 21:17

well i guess this is were you post it, if not ill move it to the right spot.

PART 1
Severus walked down the dark ally way, waiting for a man. As time pasted, Severus thought of everything he had been through since he had to kill Dumbledore. Hearing footsteps, Severus stood up. “Been waiting for you.” Snape said. The Death Eater just grunted in response. They walked out of the dark ally way making their way up to the beautiful white house above the hill. Most would say the people who lived here had died ages ago. Walking up to the gate, Severus pushed it. “All these bloody peacocks. You would think Malfoy had a better thing to do.” The Death Eater said. Severus just made his way up to the steps. “Lets go.” Severus said, stepping into the hell he had been living in for the past two months.

Harry was sitting in his room. He had been thinking of everything that had happen in these last two months. Muggles being killed, giants attacking families, and Dumbledore dying. Harry felt a sudden rage flow threw his blood and he stood up. Grabbing everything in sight, he broke it. ‘It isnt fair,’ Harry thought. ‘No parents, no godfather, no role model.’ Harry grabbed his picture with his parents in it. Silently, he whispered “Reparo.” And the photo was fixed. He knew he had just done illegal magic, but he didn’t care. Nothing would hurt him anymore then what he was feeling. Hurt that he couldn’t remember his mother or father and didn’t spend any time with Sirius. No one had contacted him about anything. He had no idea what was going to happen, what the Order was doing, and why they have not come and got him yet. Harry walked over to Hedwig, the only thing that cared about him. Smiling a little, Hedwig jumped on his arm, cooing. Harry knew, has he started into Hedwig’s blue orbs, that after tomorrow, nothing would be the same.

PART 2

I hated the ending. Severus loving Lily, Tonks and Remus just getting married and having a baby, Fred dying after Percy said sorry, and more. I was disappointed Bellatrix died the way she did. I thought Harry or Neville would have done it. I think that Voldemort should have thrown a curse at Harry, causing Bellatrix’s death. Also, I think Fred’s death should have been detailed more. It would have also been nice to know how poor Collin Creevy died. At the very ending, she should have told us what everyone was doing and also why Cho came back and what was her purpose. What did they ever say about Crabbe? He was just trying to help his friend out causing his death. Draco, who did he marry? There was just to much that I think should have been answered.

PART 3

Cho went outside, waiting for the task to start. She and Cedric had been dating for almost five months and she was hoping he would win. As the champions came out, her eyes landed on Cedric. Waving at him, she hoped he saw her. “Lady and gentlemen, settle down. The last task is about to begin.” Dumbledore shouted out across the field. Cho sat down, hoping Cedric would turn around and tell her bye before he went. Then, has he started walking, he turned and found her. He waved good bye and the hedge closed up his entrance. Everyone was waiting. Just only fifteen minutes into the task, red sparks were shown above the sky. One of the champions had quiet. Wondering who it was, Cho sat back. After minutes, the teachers came back out with Krum and Delcour. Cho started smiling, this meant Cedric had a chance! Waiting, she was thinking of everything that would happen if Cedric won when Potter and Cedric landed on the ground. Cho felt it, deep in her bones, a piercing cold stung her body. Jumping up, she screamed. “No, he isnt. He cant be dead.” She shouted, running up to his body, while Dumbledore was getting Potter of his dead body. Cho felt warm liquid fall off her cheek, she knew she was crying. Falling down to her knees, she held Cedric’ head in her hands. “You can’t be dead. I love you.” Cho said, tears falling onto Cedric’s once happy face. Cho vowed that night she would do whatever it took to revenge Cedric.

Subject: Re: Could you do better than Jo? Thu Feb 28 2008, 17:09

Could you do better than Jo?

This class is designed to see if you could be a better writer than J. K. Rowling. There are three different tasks to test this. Also, you must make sure that you have good spelling, punctuation and grammar (SPAG) and also a good quality of written communication (QWC). You may get marks deducted if you do not. For this class there is no upper word limit for any of the sections but, don't write too much!

Openings
The opening of a story is possibly one of the most important sections. It helps to set the scene and draw the reader in to the book. J. K. Rowling has a pretty conventional opening to her stories and she tends to use the same one in each book. For your first task I want you to think of an alternate opening to one of the Harry Potter books. It must be at least 250 words.
(Possible points: 35)

(Re-written first chapter to Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

Godric's Hollow was, as many towns were, generally rather normal. Families lived there, did their shopping, raised children, and many other average activities.

However, unless you knew who lived in Godric's Hollow, the sudden apperance of an elderly man, with a long silver white beard, wearing a long cloak may have been quite startling. This man, whose piercing blue eyes were peering down the darkened street through half-moon spectacles, was named Albus Dumbledore.

After a moment, he began walking down the street towards a house that had all of the curtains drawn, but was brightly lit in a downstairs room. Dumbledore strode up the wooden stairs, and as he reached the top step, a creak echoed into the night. The noise must have alerted the house's occupants, for a shadow quickly flitted across the curtained window nearest to the door, which opened slightly. A hushed whisper asked,

"Albus?"

"Yes, James. I am Albus Pervical Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. My patronus is a phoenix, and I own a phoenix named Fawkes. I didn't give you, James Potter, a detention in your first year, although I should have, considering I had caught you summoning a school broomstick to your dorm room."

The door opened wider, and a grinning man with mesy black hair ushered Dumbledore into the house. "Alright, alright. Come on in. Lily's in the sitting room trying to get Harry to fall back asleep."

"I just put him to bed, actually." A red haired woman with brilliant green eyes strode into the room. "Hello, Albus," Lily Potter greeted warmly.

"Good evening, Lily. Now, if we may sit, I will discuss what I have found out." The party moved into the sitting room, where some tea awaited them on the low table. The Potters sat on the couch, and Dumbledore took a nearby armchair. Lily picked up the tea pot, and frowned.

"Oh drat, it's gotten cold." James pulled a thin, long stick of wood out of his pocket and flicked it in the direction of the teapot. "I could have done that," Lily muttered as she poured the now slightly steaming tea into a cup and James pocketed his wand.

"I know, but I wanted to, dearest." Before Lily could retort, Dumbledore cleared his throat, and the couple fell silent and turned to him.

"Lord Voldemort is closing the loop around you two, I'm afraid." James' hands clenched into fists on his legs, and Lily took one hand into his, and after a glance at her husband, nodded to Dumbledore to continue. "I urge you to invest in the Fidelius Charm, and I offer myself as Secret Keeper."

The Potters glanced at one another, sharing that deep mental connection only two people that were irrevocably bonded to each other could accomplish, and then James spoke for them both, "We appreciate the offer, Albus. But he'd expect that, wouldn't he?"

"It's not that we don't trust you, or don't think you can handle yourself. We just don't want to put you into anymore trouble." Dumbledore nodded solemnly, not appearing to take offense to their shared worry.

"If this is what you want, so be it. Who do you have in mind?" Wordlessly, James looked at the wedding photo on the table. As with all magical photographs, it moved. A younger Lily and James held hands, laughing in their wedding garb. Behind them, was a small man with watery blue eyes. But it was the person ext to James, slapping him on the back and also chuckling, a handsome young man with shaggy black hair, who drew Dumbledore's gaze. "Ah, I see." Slowly, Dumbledore rose. "Alas, I must go. Thank you for the tea, Lily."

The party moved to the door. Lily had her arms folded across her chest, looking anxious. James put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her on the top of her head. "I assume I shall perform the Charm?" Dumbledore asked. James nodded, but Lily still seemed nervous.

"Cheer up, Lily. It's Halloween in a few weeks, and before you know it, everyone will be over for Christmas."

Endings
Some people were not so happy with the ending of the 7th book and I’m sure we all envisaged a different one – whether it was dramatically different or only slightly. Do you think that there was a better way to end the book? For this you don’t have to do any actual writing, just a point by point summary of what you think should have happened.
(Possible points: 20)

I’m basing the “Ending” as the Chapter The Flaw in the Plan and the Epilogue.

I actually did not have too many problems with the endings, at first anyways. Harry’s coming back and Voldy getting knocked out, the odd relationship between Bella and Voldy, Narcissa caring more about Draco than Volders winning, Harry and the others being protected from Moldyshorts’ curses, Hagrid having to carry Harry, the bit with the centaurs, everything pretty much worked for me. And I apologize for that atrocious run on sentence of a list, but you get my point. Where I begin to differ, however, is when Neville comes into the picture. I wish that it had been Bellatrix who had dealt with him, instead of Voldemort It would have been the perfect sort of justice for Neville and his parents. I don’t see the point of having Neville being forced to wear the flaming Sorting Hat. I mean, wouldn’t he know that the Hat was more than it seemed to be? He was defeated once before by Harry using the sword, which came from the Hat. While I don’t recall whether or not he knew this, it just seemed like the whole thing was a bit unnecessary. However, if we didn’t have that, we wouldn’t have had Neville pulling the sword of Gryffindor out of the Hat, and thus killing Nagini, cementing his status as “freaking awesome”. I do wish that Harry, after seeing Bellatrix nearly curse Ginny, had hexed the britches off of that witch. At least he later shield charm-ed Molly. We’ll talk a bit about her in a moment. But, if I can’t have that or Neville obtaining supreme justice by killing her, Molly Weasley breaking free of her motherly role and swearing at the top of her voice will do just fine. The way Bellatrix died, eerily similar to Sirius, also seemed to fit. The bit with the Elder Wand as a little baffling, however. I could barely keep track of who had it and why. I wish that Harry had connected more with Ginny after the battle, after all, he had hardly seen her, and had once described her as his “best source of comfort”. Instead, Luna distracted the people for him, and it was Ron and Hermione who he looked for. At least one of the main things that deterred him from her was that he wanted to let her cope with the battle as he would begin to do. I don’t like how the Resurrection Stone was just forgotten. Harry should have gone back for it, and maybe stored that behind Dumbledore’s portrait as well. Despite what we are led to believe, I really do get a sinking feeling that someone could find it and use it for evil.

And thus we turn to the epilogue. I must begin by saying this: Albus Severus?! What. the. Hufflepuff. I do recognize the fact that Harry wishes to honor the Headmaster, but I wish it could have been a first name. And as for Severus…I just really don’t see Harry as someone who would do that. He spent 7-8 years of his life loathing Snape, and being loathed back. I understand that he could respect the man, and even think him brave-but to name his child that? There are many more wizards who should be nearer and dearer to his heart. Hagrid, for instance. Or even Ron. As for his other two children’s names, it is to be expected. But, as with Severus, I don’t get the middle name for Lily: Luna. Aren’t there other witches with whom Harry has been closer? I wish we had heard a little more about the other Weasley children, even if it sounded a bit like “And this is this. And this is that. And etc. etc. etc.” And on the subject of other Weasley children, I have to wonder WHY Hugo. It simply doesn’t make sense at all! (except for the fact that JKR won a Hugo award, but that’s a bit too random for my taste.) I could rant for days about Hugo. But let’s continue to Draco’s appearance: all I really wanted there was information about his wife. I can’t help but wish that Neville was Headmaster on top of Herbology Professor, but maybe someday…Anyways, I don’t understand why Harry only told Albus Severus (*silent gag*) about his almost being put in Slytherin. If he all of a sudden has a respect for the House, he isn’t ashamed to tell his children, and certainly James must have had similar worries…but it could just be a differing personality thing. The last line was a bit cheesy, but we can’t have everything in life.

Looking back, I do see that I was a bit positive in some places, and I apologize xD

Different Viewpoints
Now, I’d like you to put yourself in to Jo’s footsteps for a moment. You’ve closed the book on the Harry Potter series and you know that a lot of fans out there were devastated. So you have a surprise up your sleeve. You’re going to release a short continuation of the series for charity, but it has to be from another characters point of view. (Not Harry’s!) Pick a MINOR event from the series and write it from your character’s point of view. And by a minor event I mean, not something like the last battle. :D You have to write at least 250 words.
(Possible Points: 40)

“Ron, it’s fine. I’m sure you’re not the first boy to have asked her…” Ginny said in a low, soothing voice. Her brother, Ron, had just asked Fleur Delacour to the Ball. In a less than subtle way, too, in front of a lot of people. It had taken several minutes for his ears to return to their normal color. The sound of the Common Room door opening caused her to look up. It was Harry. Her stomach did a little flip-flop, and Ginny instantly cursed herself and forced herself to focus on Ron, who was looking up at Harry, his face horrified as he wildly asked why he did “it” and what made him “do it”. Harry, of course, was confused, so Ginny was forced to explain.

“He-er-just asked Fleur Delacour to go to the ball with him,” said Ginny. She had to fight back a little smile, because although she was genuinely sorry for her brother, the memory was quite entertaining. However, for Ron’s sake, she kept the smile back, and patted his arm with sympathy. Harry was stunned, and Ron described the situation disjointedly. After he finished, Ron moaned and put his head in his hands, talking through them. Ginny’s pity for her brother increased when he said how Fleur had looked at him before he ran for it. When Harry had explained that Fleur was part Veela, she finally looked up at him. That, at least, is something I can tell Hermione. It’s not that he doesn’t like her, it’s that Fleur has Veela magic… Her thoughts were interrupted by Harry saying he had just asked Cho to the Ball but had been turned down because she was going with Cedric.

Conflicting emotions ran through her, and the smile that had been sneaking across her lips fell immediately. First, there was pity for Harry, because being turned down by someone you like is horrible. Then there was jealousy that he had wanted to ask Cho, and not her. And then the annoyance that why, for just once couldn’t Harry notice her first when she wasn’t in danger of being killed by a basilisk? Ron remarked that Neville didn’t have a date, and Ginny made a point of twirling a strand of her red hair ‘round and ‘round her finger, not looking at either of the boys. She looked completely composed, except for, if you looked closely; her cheeks were faintly tinged pink. However, neither boy was paying attention to her, they were now discussing how Neville had asked Hermione before securing a date for himself. She couldn’t keep silent for the entire time, when Ron made a jibe about no one ever wanting to go with Neville.

“Don’t!” she said sharply, her tone colored by annoyance. “Don’t laugh-” But once again their attention was drawn away from her by the entrance of Hermione into the Common Room. She wondered why the two laughing boys weren’t at dinner, and Ginny said the first thing that came to her mind that would sure to stop them. “Because-oh shut you laughing, you two-because they’ve both just been turned down by girls they asked to the ball!” And as quickly as the news that Harry had asked Cho to the ball caused her to stop smiling, this painful reminder caused them to stop laughing. As her temper died down, Ginny somewhat regretted saying it…until Ron got sour with her. Turning away, she let him and Hermione argue about whether or not she was a girl, and then progressed onto whether or not Hermione would go with him or Harry. Ginny knew full well that Hermione did have a date, and she did know who had asked her, but she wasn’t in the mood to share that, and besides, Hermione had made her promise. Predictably, Hermione stormed off, and Ron declared that she must be lying. Finally, Ginny spoke quietly, “She’s not.”

Ron of course, demanded who it was. “I’m not telling you, it’s her business.” She told her brother, making him look put out. However, his next words, which would have made Ginny happy on any other occasion, crushed her now:

“Right, this is getting stupid. Ginny, you can go with Harry, and I’ll just-” She went scarlet. Oh why does he have to suggest it now…

“I can’t, I’m going with-” she debated being like Hermione and not saying, but blurted out, “-with Neville. He asked me when Hermione said no, and I thought…well I’m not going to be able to go otherwise, I’m not in fourth year.” She felt miserable about the whole thing. At least she had stood up for Neville against these two great prats. “I think I’ll go and have dinner,” she finished, despite having eaten right before finding Ron in the corner mumbling about Fleur Delacour. She kept her head bowed as she walked through the portrait hole, and headed towards the Great Hall, trying very hard to not think about Harry now going with someone else.

Total Number of Points Possible: 95
The best entry will receive an extra 5 points!

Subject: Re: Could you do better than Jo? Sat Mar 08 2008, 19:18

Openings
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

Voldemort strolled up to a friendly looking hosue in a street surrounded by many other hosues each of them with the lights on but the curtains were closed except for the house that he was wlaking towards. Before getting to the door he stood in front of the window and looking inside he saw that there was a man and a women and in the womens hands was a small boy. Voldemort watched as the man said something to his wife as she walked up the stairs carrying the baby with her. Voldemort smiled as he continued his path towards the entrance of the house.

Voldemort made sure that his cloak’s hood covered his face as he placed his hand into his robes and pulled a slender piece of wood and held it out in front of him. With a flick of the stick the door flew open and the man that Voldemort saw in the living came running to the door. Voldemort saw horror fill the man’s face as he called out to his wife who, Voldemort assumed, was still upstairs.

“He’s here!” the man called out.

“Get out of my way” Voldemort snapped at the man but once he refused to do so he raised this stick again and a green light came out of it. Voldmeort watched as the man collapsed to floor with his eyes wide open and there wasn’t any sign of him breathing. Voldmeort laughed as he walked over this man and made his way up the stairs.

Once upstairs Voldemort spotted a room that still had its lights on and he knew this was the room where the mother and its baby were at. He raised his wand again and with a wide sweeping movement he caused the door to fly open and fall of its hinges from the impact off of the wall. Voldmeort than strolled into the room with his wand pointed at the women who had tears running down her face.

“Get out of my way. You do not need to die tonight” Voldmeort laughed at the women.

“No you would have to kill me first” the women spat at him. She then threw her arms out trying to hide the baby from view but Voldmeort laughed.

“Very well then” he said and with another flick of his wand a jet of green like flew at the women just just like her husband downstairs she collapsed and all signs of live escaped her.

Looking past the women Voldemort quickly spotted the tiny infant that the women so desperately tried to save but with no luck. The baby probably sensing that something was wrong in the house started to cry as Voldemort drew closer to its crib. Voldemort let out another small laugh as he raised his wand and a green light exited his wand but instead of hearing the ending of the baby’s crying Voldmeort saw the green light fill the entire room and then he saw nothing.

Endings

I would of liked if Jo would of have said a little more about what had happened to everyone after the war. We did hear a little about Ron, Herminoe, Harry, Neville and Draco but what about Luna, George, or the rest of the Weasley family. I would of have liked to know a little bit more about how the war had effected them each and how they were no living but I do see as to why she didn’t do that. There would of have been no way she could of have fit that much information about each of the character into one little chapter. She would end up having to write another book which I’m sure that many people wouldn’t mind if she was to do that.

Different Viewpoints

Luna walked into the Great Hall and looking across the room she quickly spotted Ginny and made a bee line right for her. Ginny tried to engage herself into conversation with the other girls who were there but Luna still came up to her looking as if she was lost.

“Hello” Luna said to her cutting off Ginny’s conversation with one of the other Gryffindors that were in their grade.

“Hello Luna” Ginny said trying to sound as cheerful as possible which Luna didn’t notice that it was forced

“Did you read this issue of the Quibler?” Luna asked her as she held up a magazine that had a drawing of some weird looking bat like creature on the front.

“No I didn’t” Ginny responded.

“You didn’t?” Luna said as disappointment filled her face. “there was a very good article in there about the baterratmondagooseabug”

“What?” one of the other girls said. “Is that some made up creature that your dad came up with because he has no life?”

“No it’s real” Luna responded unsure as to why the girl was sounding so rude. “My father did not come up with it by himself. Alex Gradiver saw it himself as he was traveling the eleven seas”

“There’s only seven of them” the girl said

“No theres eleven” Luna replied. Why doesn’t anyone believe me. Do they think that I made up imaginary creatures just to be laughed at Luna thought

“Your weird” the girl said as she walked away from Luna and Ginny

“Don’t worry about her. Your not weird, your-“ Ginny started to say but broke off.

“You believe me right?” Luna asked her

“Yes I do” Ginny said giving her a weak smile.Luna returned the smile and thought [i]Well at least one person believes me and that’s all that matters.

Subject: Re: Could you do better than Jo? Sun Mar 09 2008, 11:32

Could You Do Better Than Jo?

Openings

(For Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

He was free. For twelve years had he been stuck in that revolting prison, for twelve years had he not breathed in fresh air, for twelve years had he been convicted of a murder. A murder, that is, that he hadn’t committed. But now, oh, if given the chance now…There were things to be taken care of first, before he found that treacherous little rat.

A shaggy black dog crept through the darkened streets of Little Winging, making his way to Privet Drive. Number Four, Privet Drive, to be exact. He trotted along, anxious to finally look upon his godson again. Coincidentally, his godson was the child who had bested Voldemort as a mere baby. Unfortunately, he had never gotten to congratulate him, for he was promptly shipped to Azkaban what seemed moments later. A muscle in his jaw twitched as that painful memory came over him, but he pushed it away. It would not do to dwell on that any longer. As he came to Privet Drive, the unharmonious sound of shouting hit his ears, and he followed it to Number Four. Hidden from view by the large hydrangea bushes, he looked out to the backyard where the family had congregated. Following their upward gaze, he laid eyes on a very rotund, screeching, woman who was floating up into the sky.

Realizing that this must have been Harry’s doing, he grinned lopsidedly, and edged out of the hydrangea bush, hoping to get a look at his godson. But the boy wasn’t outside. However, he could hear the thumping of a trunk coming down the stairs from inside, and so turned his attention to the front door. The rest of the family had come inside, the man still bellowing. Through the windows on either side of the door, he could see the boy. Though his back was towards him, he could tell that he was the same build that James had had at thirteen, the same shock of unruly black hair. And the same tone of voice when he was enraged. A moment later, he had to duck, for the door burst open, and out into the night was the boy. Harry Potter. Seeing him was unnerving, as he was the spitting image of his father, who had died thirteen years prior. But there he was again, alive in his son.

As Harry stomped out onto the street, Sirius Black went after him, careful to stay in the shadows.

Endings

(I’m taking the ending as only the Epilogue.)

The ending of the series was different than I had pictured it, as I’m sure it was for everyone. It had been written prior to many of the books, if I remember correctly, and so the writing wasn’t like how it was in the rest of the book. As we go through the series, we see Jo develop as a writer, getting better each time. The epilogue seemed like something out of one of the first two books, to me at least. But putting the way it was written aside, I still think it could’ve ended differently. Yes, it was wonderful to see some of our favorite characters all grown up, but I think that if it had only been the main four and their children that it could’ve been better. We could have found out about the others through a conversation at Harry and Ginny’s, or something along those lines. Somehow, it just didn’t seem like the right end to me.

Different Viewpoints

(spoken words © GoF)

There she was, putting on a happy face just to annoy him. Well, he wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction, Ron Weasley thought with a scowl. Obviously, she couldn’t feel anything for the git. He was old and ugly and who cared if he was a professional Quidditch player? It was just an act; she was trying to get back at him for – okay, so he couldn’t think of what she was getting back at him for, but that was Hermione for you. And Vicky, why would he want to go with her? She was the smartest and most beautiful witch he knew – couldn’t be Vicky’s type. It must be her friendship with Harry that had him wanting to go with her, for he would want any help he could get to beat him. Ah, and here she was, coming towards them all smiley-like.

He continued to glower at her.

Praising her dear Vicky, pretending to be all hot from dancing – he couldn’t just sit there and let her do that!

“He’s from Durmstrang!” Ron exclaimed, furious. “He’s competing against Harry! Against Hogwarts! You – you’re - ” He paused, trying to find the right word to explain her atrocious behavior, “fraternizing with the enemy, that’s what you’re doing!”

There. He had said it, and without revealing the strange possessiveness he was feeling towards her at the moment. For some unexplained reason, it irritated him that she had chosen to go with the slimebug instead of him. And it seemed his words had touched a nerve, he noticed with grim satisfaction. He couldn’t stop.

“I s’pose he asked you to come with him while you were both in the library?”

As she spun some story of how Vicky had been too shy to talk to her and then finally did, Ron became more determined to show her what he saw as the truth. They went back and forth, yelling by now, until Hermione stomped off, as livid as her red-headed interrogator. Feeling strangely out of sorts with how the argument had played out, Ron was sharp to tell Padma about having no intentions to dance with her, and went back to sulking.

Subject: Re: Could you do better than Jo? Tue Mar 25 2008, 18:15

Openings
A platinum blond looked through the many shelves of his library. The ministry was composing a lot of searches lately and he wanted to make sure there was nothing to be found in his mansion. Of course there was. He was just really good at hiding them. He walked down fingering through all the books he saw. He went though his whole library like this. When he reached the back of the library he had a quite a few books he needed to hide. He fingered through the first few rows finding nothing. Then as he leaved though the final shelve he found it.

It was a tiny black book. It had no dust on it, not like the surrounding books. He narrowed his eyes at it. Hiding would not be good enough for this little beast. He took it out gingerly. It was as black as ever. Almost like it was just made. It was more of a diary then a book. In the bottom corner, in tiny gold cursive writing were the words Tom Riddle. He shuddered at the name and slipped the book in his robe pocket. He had already come up with a plan, all he needed to do was find a person dumb enough not to notice another book in their presence.

Endings
I think the ending was well written. I didn't like the pairings for one. I had been a Harry/Hermione and Ron/Luna and Ginny/Neville shipper so the ending was kinda a sole crusher. No not really. I do think that she should have put a little more into what happened to other characters. Like I really do wonder what happened to George and Fred's shop. Just the little things she left out. I also thought the names were a bit funny.

Different Viewpoints
Draco rushed out of the giant oak doors. He was going to miss his chance to prove himself. Even if he didn't want to. He didn't want to kill Dumbledore, the very idea made his knees shake. He pushed the giant oak doors open and froze.

There he was. Looking older the ever, his blue eyes looking straight into Draco's soul. He felt his knees almost give. He had gone to far to turn back now. He had to do it. He had to do it for his family. He closed his eyes and tried to seem determined.

Subject: Re: Could you do better than Jo? Sat Aug 16 2008, 05:55

Opening
(Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

He knew that because of his age, many on the world might say that he was old, very old. But until recently, he had barely ever been feeling it as much as he did now. Sitting at the headmaster's desk in his office, Albus Dumbledore felt the many years in every bone, every hair, every nerve. He could almost be called ancient, and his body was making him aware of it.
He knew that it would not be anywhere near as bad if there weren't all too many thoughts he had to keep track of. A pensieve was far from being enough now to help him release some stress. If he let go of the wrong thought, everything would be worse than it was already. The slightest mistake, and his search so far would have been utterly useless.

Sighing deeply, with the worry of a man knowing too much about the world, he rose and left the room. His mission was far from complete, and though he knew that at some point of the next year, his life would have found its end, he had no intention of leaving his work unfinished. He was of great importance in the final defeat of Tom Riddle Junior, and he would do all that he could - and that was quite a lot - to make sure that one Harry Potter could bring his task to an end by that defeat.
And there was a chance that this would repay his own debt of not watching out for Tom as he had always known he should have. His failure might just be neutralised and he could expect meeting his end in peace if only he could prepare Harry well enough to have Tom meet his very own end as well.

Pushing these thoughts to the back of his mind, Albus descended down the stairs of Hogwarts, ready to journey farther, because he had a ring to find and a boy to pick up and memories to collect and so much more that any wizard not quite as blessed as him would have difficulties doing all in time.
Tonight, he would start with the first thing on his list, finding the ring of Marvolo Gaunt, the Resurrection Stone - a horcrux. He wanted as many horcruxes destroyed as possible before his passing, which was why this was his most important quest at that moment. Being outside the grounds of the castle, he imagined the place he knew he would find what he desired and soon he felt the soothingly familiar feeling of Apparation.

Ending

I think that in general, the ending was very well-done, however I had always imagined one of the trio dying as a kind of sacrifice to finishing off Voldie. Of course I was quite sure that it was an irrealistic hope, but I'd have liked it a whole lot better than Fred's death. Seriously, what is it with the twins? Both either hurt or dead, that really wasn't necessary with them being such funny and lively characters. Furthermore I didn't appreciate the epilogue too much, because for me it's all or nothing. I could have lived without knowing anything that happens after the battle, or with knowing 'everything'. But this little information that leaves me frustrated just doesn't do it for me. If I were J.K., I'd have done it like this:

In the battle, I wouldn't have had as many people dying that aren't really main characters, but instead one major death (Harry/Ron/Hermione) and maybe two or three others. Then I'd have killed Bella in another way, either at the hand of Neville or in some twisted way killed by Voldemort.
After the battle, Draco should have decided to get along with the Trio and in the epilogue we'd have found out that somehow, Hermione and Draco decided all their past hate hadn't really been hate but passion, and so they'd have ended up as a cooool family with pretty, intelligent babies. Ron wouldn't really have gotten over it, which would have ensured us an unknown amount of drama left for all the dedicated fanfic writers. And I'd have made the Epilogue a lot longer so people would find out just about everything, including the fact that Neville is now Hogwarts' headmaster, because he's such a special person and quite more bearable than former whiny baby Harry. Who, by the way, would have named his little kids with Ginny with better names - actually, better names's have been needed for all the children so far in the new generation!

Yeah, I'd change quite a few things, but I guess this should be enough then to make me comfortably happy with the ending of the HP series *winks*

Different Viewpoint

He was feeling good, really good. Boxing had worked wonders on him and he knew one could see it, looking at his build. He was the official leader now, in his very own group, kids were afraid of him and he could hit whomever he wanted to hit. 'No, not whomever you want to. You know you're afraid of your cousin, don't you?', a small voice somewhere in the back of his mind taunted, and he gave his best to ignore it, carrying on the talk with his gang.

"Round at my place, my parents will be out." This meant a good time, he knew it. He dismissed the others and started humming to himself. Life was good during summer holidays, had always been. Suddenly he heard his name, so he turned around only to see his sick cousin. He gulped soundlessly, careful not to show how uncomfortable it made him to be alone with the sicko. He knew Potter was trying to provoke him, enjoying his struggle to keep quiet. Damn that boy with his stick feeling so great and mighty. He'd show him, one day he'd show him and then he would cry his poor little soul out.

It was hard for him to voice his comebacks, he was a lot more efficient with his fists. But he knew fists wouldn't help him a bit against m-m-...he couldn't bring himself to even think the word. Against insane cousins with wood sticks, that was it. If only he knew how to really hurt this psycho. The mum and dad thing had long ago lost its appe- that was when it hit him. The crying, the whimpering, the weakness he had witnessed.

"Not this brave at night, are you?" He knew he had caught him off guard as soon as he answered something about this being night. He had no idea he had exposed himself, had given free access to weak points. Freak. He really was clueless. The look on his haughty face was priceless, Dudley praised himself.

"I heard you last night, talking in your sleep. Moaning." Obviously Potter slowly caught up with his thoughts, for his features distorted slowly and cold shock crept into his eyes. Definitely a weak point he could strike with. He laughed and imitated the whining. They both knew he wasn't lying, no matter how much the other denied it. His face betrayed him, and non of his mad nonsense could get him out of it. He kept going, pushing the new-found button.

"'Come and help me, Dad! Mum, come and help me! He's killed Cedric! Dad, help me! He's going to-' Don't you point that thing at me!" He had thought wrong. Obviously the lunatic didn't bother losing his place in that weird world. Or had they changed the rules? Dudley saw hate taking over the green, common eyes, changing every line in the gaunt face. He couldn't remember ever having seen the freak quite that crazy. They started shouting backwards and forth, he wanted that thing away. Of course the coward wouldn't actually do anything, but just the sight-

He had done something. Darkness suddenly surrounded them and he felt as if he'd been thrown into a pool of icy water. He wasn't sure what had happened, but this couldn't be natural. It had to have been him. Even all sounds were gone. It was just darkness and cold. He wanted to scream, but he couldn't satisfy Potter like that. He couldn't. He mustn't.

"W-what are you d-doing? St-stop it!" He heard the other babbling, defending himself, lying again, but he didn't care. This was so wrong. "I c-can't see! I've g-gone blind! I-" He was cut off by the other, and he had no idea why he didn't admit it, didn't bathe in his triumph, he was confused and blind and nothing was right and he didn't know any way out of this.

"I'll t-tell Dad! W-where are you? What are you d-do-" And again he was cut short. This was crazy, worse than ever before. What was the idiot doing? How was he supposed to get out of there? His mind raced as he tried to find a way to get rid of the sick darkness. "C-cut it out! Stop doing it! I'll h-hit you, I swaer I will!" And he was trying to shut him up again. Helpless as to how he was suppsed to defend himself, Dudley went for the only thing he knew: he aimed at where he suspected the monster and punched him hard. Then he ran, hit something, ran again. He had to get away from this, from the freak.

"DUDLEY, COME BACK! YOU'RE RUNNING RIGHT AT IT!" He knew it was another lie, he was running away from him and had to be right and- he stopped dead in his tracks. Something was in front of him and he fell to the ground, helpless and defeated. He heard his cousin shouting something and it probably was the triumph because his trap had worked, he had to be happy and Dudley was rolling onto his side, making strange noises and trying not to think about the fact that he'd die now. He had lived for so long with this freak and he was evil, he had always known somehow but now it was proven. He'd have him dead in no time, and nothing would help him now. He continued whimpering, waiting for the inevitable that was to come in a form he didn't know.

Subject: Re: Could you do better than Jo? Sun Aug 17 2008, 19:38

Could you do better than Jo?

Openings
(Half-Blood Prince)

Draco Malfoy sat on a bench that looked towards a circular area that was bare with the exception of the grand fountain in the center. Off in the distance, beyond the trimmed hedges and wide variety of flowers, he could see the albino peacocks that his father so cherished roaming the lawns freely. He envied those creatures. They weren’t ordered to do things like spy or kill. They were innocent beings and he himself was destined to be a monster.

He never wanted to be like his father, growing up to serve and be a slave to the darkest wizard their world had ever known. He hated the Dark Lord with a passion. The man had destroyed his childhood. Every moment of his life was filled with things he must do and live up to. The only thing that kept him sane was when he was at school and could terrorize Potter. His school rival got to do whatever he pleased and break countless rules. Most of all he got fawned over by practically everyone. Yeah, as Draco was growing up, he had thought of the marvelous Harry Potter who destroyed You-Know-Who. He had even dreamed that the boy would rescue him from his damned life of expectations. But no, Potter had refused to be his friend and ever since he tried to ruin the other boy’s life.

He could hear footsteps approaching and he made a snarling sound in warning. The footsteps didn’t stop and his warning was responded with only a chuckle. He gave a frustrated sigh. “What do you want Greengrass?”

“Using my last name to address me?” She responded as she walked into view, a pout placed on her lips. “One might think you thought me as low as Gryffindor, or one of your lackeys.”

“Sorry…Daphne,” He strained, not in a pleasant mood.

A smile appeared on her lips as she went on to sit beside him. “That’s better. So, what are you doing moping about in the garden? You mother is trying hard to hold a respectable party after what happened to your father.”

“And your point?” He asked staring fixedly at the fountain, his eyes glazed over and dark.

“Despite your mother’s tough appearance she needs someone by her side to help her get through the night.”

“She has Auntie Bells to help her out.”

He heard Daphne let out a sigh before placing a hand on his shoulder and using her other to pull his face to look at her. “We both know that she isn’t any help,” she spoke with a intent look in her eyes. “Bellatrix didn’t much like your father and your mother needs someone who shares her pain at his loss. Yes you and him may not have been on the best terms and you do harbor resentment to him, but I know that you still miss him.”

“Only a little,” he admitted in a whisper.

Her eyes softened and asked, “What’s wrong? This all isn’t about your father is it?”

He looked away from her. “It isn’t,” he replied wishing she wasn’t so good at reading him.

“What is it then?” she pressed.

“The Dark Lord,” He replied in a soft saddened voice. “He asked me to do something. To kill someone.” He then looked at her with an almost pleading look that his father would be disgusted at. “I don’t want to be a murderer Daph.”

Her hands moved from his face and shoulder and wrapped him in a tight hug. “I know you don’t Draco,” she spoke softly. “I know you aren’t that kind of person.” She then pulled back slightly and asked him in a voice that seemed she already regretted asking, “Who is it that you have to kill?”

“I am forbidden to tell,” he replied and she nodded in understanding before wrapping a comforting arm around him. They sat there quietly for a while, not sure what to say or do, and both feeling a terror inside of them. Draco’s of killing the person he was ordered to, and Daphne’s of what was to happen this coming year.

“Well let’s go inside now,” She finally spoke, breaking the silence that seemed to have lasted forever. “Astoria is here. She’s been looking forward to seeing you.” He only nodded in reply and stood up along with her before heading back to the mansion. He kept tears back, determined not to let anyone else know how frightened he felt.

Endings

Personally I liked the epilogue since it gave us all children to pair off and write fanfics and such about, but in the chapters before I was a bit disappointed. I had read the book expecting to Harry Potter to die and stay dead. I pretty much saw Voldemort and Harry being two forces that wouldn’t exist without the other. Plus none of the Golden Trio dying made them seem invincible, which is false given Ron and Harry aren’t the brightest bulbs in the bunch.

Also all the deaths made me a bit mad. Killing of Remus and Tonks was cruel and unusual punishment for the characters in the books (aka the Order, Andromeda, and Teddy) as well as those reading it. Also killing Ted Tonks was wrong. Andromeda has had a hard life and killing off her husband was just cruel. There were tons of other muggleborns to kill off, so why him? I would have only killed off Moody, Dobby, Snape (he had a hard life and he is probably happier dead), Voldemort, Wormtail, and Bellatrix, along with maybe my own choices of Harry, Pansy, and maybe Elphias Doge since he was old. (lol)

Different Viewpoints
(Prisoner of Azkaban - Ch. 14, Snape’s Grudge)

Draco was going on about himself being a poor victim of that blasted hippogriff, Buckbeak as the oversized oaf called it. “I should have an owl from Father any time now. He had to go to the hearing to tell them about my arm…about how I couldn’t use it for three months…”

Crabbe and Goyle let out their usual disgusting snigger.

“I really wish I could hear the great hairy moron trying to defend himself…’There’s no ‘arm in ‘im, ‘onest -‘…that hippogriff’s as good as dead — “

Draco then caught site of Weasley and his face split into a malicious grin. “What are you doing, Weasley?” He looked up at the repulsive excuse for a house behind the Weasel. “Suppose you’d love to live here, wouldn’t you, Weasley? Dreaming about your own bedroom? I heard your family all sleep in one room —is that true?”

The Gryffindor seemed to want to attack him and Draco couldn’t help but let out a snicker at the sight.

“We were just discussing your friend Hagrid,” Draco spoke to Weasley. “Just trying to imagine what he’s saying to the imagine what he’s saying to the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures. D’you think he’ll cry when they cut off his hippogriff’s— “

Before he could finish something hit his head and his head jerked forward. Draco’s hair was now dripping with mud. “What the —?” he spoke in a confused voice as he looked behind him, seeing nothing, and continued spinning in all directions looking for the culprit. He heard the annoying laughter of the ginger as he tried wiping his silver-blond hair clean.

“What was that? Who did that?”

“Very haunted up here, isn’t it?” said the filthy Weasel asked all nonchalant and Malfoy would have made some remark if not for the fact he wasn’t busy searching the deserted area around him for whomever threw the mud at him.

He noticed Crabbe and Goyle looking terrified and silently cursed himself for having such cowards for minions. Of course he himself was just as terrified, but he wouldn’t admit that even to himself.

He was then hit was green sludge that smelled atrocious. “It came from over there!” Draco spoke as he stared at a spot he figured was the source, wiping his eyes of the filth.

Crabbe moved forward looking like some sordid zombie before doing some sort of whirl in the air as if he were hit, which didn’t seem unlikely, and was looking for the culprit. He then headed towards the Weasel, but clumsily fell over. Or at least it seemed to be the goon’s clumsiness until a familiar head was seen hovering in the air.

Draco stared for a second, speechless and terrified. He finally managed to yell and shout, “AAARGH!” at the floating head of Potter’s before bolting back down the hill, his lackeys following behind.

Subject: Re: Could you do better than Jo? Wed Aug 20 2008, 13:59

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