Inside Smartie's head.

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Deputy Head

Subject: Inside Smartie's head. Sat Feb 02 2008, 22:46

First topic message reminder :

These entries are about my life at school and my boy problem, My friend problems.
Some entries are in 'novel' form but just tell me what u think or if u have any
Questions you know where to post.........& dont hesitate to tell me what u think.

"I fear our friendship will never be as strong
as it was in the past, and our future is
nothing but a stroll down the road to darkness."

"As the place on my back throbbed
from where he had poked me I thought
to myself, Is this what its come to?
Him asking but not caring?"
(because the boy i am talking about asked me something and he said rite after "you know what? i dont care")

"I sat up quickly as the pain seared
through my back.
He had done i again"

"....as he walk swiftly past me, I only wondered...."

"As he tried to get my attention, I gave him
no sign of interest. It tore me, as well as him.
But I knew our friendship would never be the same
again."

"Still constantly growing apart.
Day by day, Hour by hour,
Minute by minute, Second by second.
I knew the time was coming. I just hoped I
could fix it before it was lost forever."

"He is trying to make up for his past behavior,
He thinks I will forgive him. He thinks I am as
ignorant as the others. Well I am not so easily fooled.
I will never forgive him for what he has done."

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Tue Jan 13 2009, 21:41

well I think that the 1st one is talking about spencer and that it hurts you to know the truth about his past....and the new 2nd one....IDK...For all I know it could be about me, although I haven't broken your heart...haha.

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Tue Jan 13 2009, 22:04

*sniff* yes...you did....*sadface w/lip* LOL.....yes you are correct...but o well...i am pretty sure i dont like him anymore but i am not entirely sure...like when I see him it is like...oh, there is is....opposed to...OMG there he is!!!! ya know...dif reaction...idk

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Tue Jan 13 2009, 22:19

hmm, yeah, i get that...

.... XD im sleepy.

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Wed Jan 14 2009, 18:33

how was practice?

OMG so I went to rehearsal and Mr. C was late like 30 min. and me, deseray, Tristan, and Sage were all singing a bunch of kids songs. like the hokey pokey, and that one that says knick knack patty whack give teh dog a bone. and 99 bottles of beer on the wall and we were annoying everyone...we got to 77 before everyone told us to shut up. LOL

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Sun Jan 18 2009, 15:00

Well it has been so boring....aside from me trying to figure out my boy issues, i need to study 4 finals...Bio Mostly....and art...ugh..and i need to LEarn my lines for the paly and my cues...you know...i think a sport would be easier...but no. and i think i am gonna be taking a pharmacy tech class....more hw....that will get me ready to work at the pharmacy at Vons...when I am 16...ya know...a job...that would put me...at school, at work...and i think by that time i would be able to take a few classes at IVC for my Pre recs...so i really need to grow a much bigger work ethic than i have now...hehe

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Sun Jan 18 2009, 15:38

haha, i would think a new work ethic would be helpful....

and tha'ts cool that you are thinking about youur future in that waay...

i was thinking about my future the other day. i know i say i wanna be a teacher but i dont know...

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Sun Jan 18 2009, 16:18

well....what did you wanna teach? english?

maybe you should...umm...*lightbulb* I know...take this test...it is on http://www.californiacolleges.edu/

just make a profile and it will help you keep track of your grade and the wholle HS career..
they showed us the sight in all of the HS prep stuff that i went through over the summer.

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Tue Jan 20 2009, 20:38

Well.....We played Jepordy in Algebra and *sigh* me and Viktor were kinda connecting....

We were in different groups and stuff...his group was $5 footlongs (so cute) and mine was goldmember..LOL

and well...i had done a polynomial prob..and chris was like "no...no...its wrong.." and I was lke "SHUT UP!!!" and Mr. B was taking a long time...and i was like freaking out...and he was like "...that is right" and i was like -to chris- "HA!!! Your face!!!" and Victor was like "Yeah, Andreya, Getting into it...that is awesome" *sigh* he is so cute! and i was kinda looking at him trying to figure out why is is good looking -not staring or anything- and he has got like a little boy face...kinda innocent, and yet...not...do you know what I mean?

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Thu Jan 22 2009, 21:54

cute cute.

flirting going on i see....hmm...this may be going somewhere....

and, actually, i don't know. i haven't seen him up close, so yeah....

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Thu Jan 22 2009, 22:10

Well you have to....one day...i will point him out...maybe at break tomorow...*crosses fingers*

he isnt as cute as sergio but...i still like him..

hopefully it will go somewhere.....at least make us better friends ya know...cuz he is really cool.

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Sat Jan 24 2009, 20:33

so i figured out you like a guy named victor...victor, like viktor krum! haha....i thought that was funny.

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Sat Jan 24 2009, 21:57

ya..haha i guess its kinda funny...

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Sun Jan 25 2009, 21:23

Well..Nothing to really report...It has just been really boring...I still cannot believe that I might just like Victor....its like...totally out of the ordinary. I mean I have known him since Kinder...I think that is kinda weird...Although he is cool...and semi-cute..and funny, and nice..,,,and athletic....and smart...I am just not sure...*lol* This is weird...I am gonna have to think about this.....I mean...Spencer is totally out of the picture for good....it is just like..."oh...well there you are..." as opposed to...."Heey...There you are!!" and stuff...It is just like dead ion that area....which is ok...i mean, i dont reallly care...and i dont really think it was the New Years thing...It is just that I...i dunno...got tired of him?...yeah, that is it...I got tired of him.. but idk....so....yeah.

I am etting really sick of my parents...they are just getting on my nerves a whole lot...i just wanna tell them to leave me the H.E.ll alone!!! I am serious...ugh..well idk. it sucks...

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Sun Jan 25 2009, 21:30

well, dude, I know how you feel....about viktor(that's how i'm gonna spell it now XD) I mean, I don't know how you feel about him, but it sounds like how I feel about Price (AKA Denero). Well, at least how I felt about him at one point, but I am not sure....haha, we are both just a bunch of confused people...haha. well that's not actually funny, as I'd really like to know how i feel...

ANd, I am sorry your parents are acting like that...

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Sun Jan 25 2009, 21:37

yeah...you are preaching to the choir sister (lol I have always wanted to say that)

haha but idk..I cant deal with this...i need to focus on scool this semester...

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Sun Jan 25 2009, 21:48

lol.

well, then, I think that you should pray about it. I am not telling you what to do, or anything, but if it was me, (depending on what i may be doing to provoke it, or if i was innocent), i would just talk to God about the whole ordeal. he'll listen to you, and you'll feel better.

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Sun Jan 25 2009, 21:50

aiight...i will...

oh...did i tell you that I got a 97% on my spanish Final??

yup I have an A in that class now..

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Sun Jan 25 2009, 21:56

woo!! all right!! congratulations!!! (IDK how to say it in spanish or i would)

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Sun Jan 25 2009, 22:00

lol...

so wat do your grades look like?

(what grades do you know you have for your classes?)

me...

english- A
Art-?
Bio- B or C
PE-lower that b or C
Spanish- A
Algebra- A

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Sun Jan 25 2009, 22:25

english- middle B
geography- A, i think
geometry-A
biology-middle B
PE-A, or B...
Computers- low B

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Sun Jan 25 2009, 22:28

cool... so what did you remember to tell me?

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Mon Jan 26 2009, 14:07

erm...IDK, i probably already told you....forgetfulness

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Wed Jan 28 2009, 20:05

Right well tomorow I have to be at te school at 7.30am...yup...it sucks...but i wont be in for 2nd or 3rd Period... I wont be there for 1st period on friday either... but i will C U @ lunch.....I will still be able to C viktor...<3....he is still giving me weird looks..so idk...i think he knows....I dont know how he could have found out *gives eevill eye* unless someone told him...*bum bum BUM* and if you wanna go on friday night you have to tell me tomorow and bring the Denero (lol) and like.....i will get you the tickets...they are $10 each, and you get 1/2 a whole pizza, a dessert, and a drink....and the pleasure of seeing ME!!!! LOL but you probably wont go but i just though I would ask....or tell...LOL well yeah...so...bye

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Fri Jan 30 2009, 22:39

Oh My gosh!!!! Do you even know what kind of stress I was under tonight???? It was SO AWESOME!!!! LOL well, I am pretty sure I was good. I gbroke character a few times....which sucked. But i think I picked it up. Darn Rudy was freaking twitching which threw me off...but it was awesome. Mrs. Daley came up to me and she was like "You were really good. I loved you" and i was like *napolean dynamite yes* and it was awesome. I wasnt really that nervous either. I mean My heart was pounding out of my chest but my stomach wasnt in knots or anything like that...so I was okie dokie smokey. LOL and idk...it was fun...we are definately doing other showings of it. I hope a certain person *stares at kim* will come LOL but if i do i will make sure it isnt on a friday....

ush and did u tell you that Hannah Landy was there? *unenthusiastic* yeah..it sucked...she didnt laugh or anything and I was like...whateva..haha...my dad video taped it and i will show it to you but you have to come to the show anyways!!!!

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Tue Feb 03 2009, 19:12

OMG!!!

So my video downloading is not going as i planned....i still have not watched sex drive....i am sad.....oh well...i am gonna go try again .... so bye !!!!

*sigh* i am really sad

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Tue Feb 03 2009, 22:38

OMG!!!!!!!!!!

I am so happy!!! I just saw Sex Drive and it is almost the bestest movie i have ever seen in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*jumps up and down* *squee*

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Fri Feb 06 2009, 18:25

so..i pretty much knew about everything here because you told me so....and yes i am on the computer! but calm down before you get excited, i am only on my dad's laptop...

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Fri Feb 06 2009, 20:18

AM i excited? LOL

That is great....and the twins? are they bein crazy about it 2?

Well....Sergio was in my 6th period today....well...he ditched PE and so he was there. you know...when i dont like people I am less tense around 'em ya know? like when you like someone you are kinda paranoid cuz you dont wanna be stupid...you know, and like today i was talking to him like nothing...i was like "what are YOU doing here?" not in a rude way or anything...just like playful...it was cool...but victor...i am getting tense aroud him...i should just keep it cool though *breathes* okay...so we are learing the QUADRATIC FORMULA.....it is hard...but i will master it...LOL

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Thu Feb 19 2009, 19:55

Ok....so the whole..."Operation V8" (HA just made thaT UP right now) is going along quite nicely. He is talking to me more and stuff. So i believe....that I should see wat is going to happen....I hope we have classes together next year *crosses fingers* Oh well. This is like the first time I have written in my diary since my dad has been home...I love my siganture. It is so bomb...Thanks to Elana....Ohh...that reminds me I have to put the cool phrase in it that I said at Johnny's. Alright. there it is....well I am off o find a piece of art that my room ate so I can redraw it...Toodaloo....

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Mon Feb 23 2009, 22:12

i read it but i am tired and i gotta go do stuff....will give a decent reply later. and if iu read this DONT FORGET MY CAMERA!!! XD bye..........zzzzzzzzzzzz

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Fri Feb 27 2009, 00:46

haha

Reporting in...it is 11.45pm..and it (project) isnt done yet....ahh!!!! oh well...TGIF!! LOL I have never got to use that acronym before!!! well actually it would be TGTIF (thank god tomoro is friday...but what is 15 min.s?

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Fri Feb 27 2009, 07:39

oh boyy....not done....today should be fun XD well....yeah. mahybe you will have woken up earlier than usual to finish it....we'll see...

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Sun Mar 01 2009, 23:09

Yup...It was great...and it wasnt so bad. Idont know what you were freaking out about. You always do that. You freak out about stuff and prolong it when you could jus suck it up and get it over with...Come to think of it, it seems like I should be the one freaking out LOL.

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Tue Mar 03 2009, 23:06

*sigh* ahh...Life has been good....nothing to report other than the usual Opperation:V8 crap...but there hasnt been anything lately that has put a snag in it.

Ugh!! Alexis freaking freaked me out!!! I had told her that I had liked him.......and she was messing with me the other day and Me and Victor were talking about what was better, Saving animals or unborn babies and she had wispered something in his ear but i knew she wasnt tell hiim I liked him and OMFG!!! the way he looked at me was horrible like an "I Know" look. But then he said that I have like 4 unborn babies in my room (which I dont) and then she said how I have 4 dogs and stuff and the conversation turned weird and stuff but me and Victor walked out together and were talking about brain-eating hamsters....which was weird......but, hey, quality time....

Ok and today I was really girly and I put on make up and stuff and Edwin noticed....it was weird....He'd be a really good Boyfriend...Ramona is really lucky...because he was the only one all day...(Guy)..that noticed and he was talking to me is Bio..and we were working on a project together and it was cool because his shoelace got stuck in a rolling chair and we were looking and laughing at that....and it was funny and she was like, TAKE MY ADVICE....TIE YOUR SHOES, and i was wearing flip flops and he was like...OH I DIDNT NOTICE YOU WERE WEARING SANDALS...and we looked eachother in the eyes and he looked at me and was like WHO DID YOU GET ALL NICE FOR? WITH THE EYE SHADOW AND EYELINEr AND LIPSTICK? and i said like embarrassedly & quietly ITS LIP GLOSS...

and it was funny...he would be a good boyfriend...and its not like I am gonna not like Ramona anymore just because she is his girlfriend...because I dont like him like that...because if i did, I would hate her...cuz of jealousy...but I dont, so I dont....you know? and it is weird that I dont like him because before i would have fallen for him in a heartbeat.....and watch he likes me or something...the one guy I dont like...LOL that would be weird....i mean if he asked me out I would say yes...but...he is not one for me to be pining over....(and i know what you are thinking...-and Victor is?- wel,l that is exactly the question I am asking myself right now....)

I think it is weird that 2 of my paragraph thingies are about me and edwin and only one about Vikky...*ponders* (LOL i have been watching pinky and the brain...-are you pondering what I'm pondering? ~narf~-)

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Wed Mar 04 2009, 09:05

heyy, you're online!!

okay...so i think that the vicky thing was cute. and i also think that you may hve a slight crush of edwin (funny name)

and what the french toast is NARF?? it looks weird and makes me cautious to ask...but i wanna know what it means!!

and edwin is a good BF if he notices stuff like you getting all pretty. XD and i am proud of all your analytical without-a-trace-ish thoughts :D

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Wed Mar 04 2009, 09:19

ugh idk about the edwin thing....

and how was the vikky thing cute?

and HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN PINKY AND THE BRAIN??!!?!?!?! Pinky says it all the time...idk what it is...

yes..i have been having WOAT-ish thoughts lately...

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Wed Mar 04 2009, 22:16

*sigh* today was an awesome day.....

Vicky was awesome today...man, I wish I had him in more than just 1 class 2moro...

*sigh* I have been sighing a lot.

YOu know what I noticed...*smiles widely* *giggles* I can talk to him calmly...like, without a smile, well, a normal facial expression...right? and when I leave him or he leaves me...* get this Mondo HUGE smile on my faec I I try not bursting out Sqealing....and people see me and say...why are YOU so happy...yeah...Oh well...

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Wed Mar 04 2009, 22:46

haha, at least you wait till he's gone....but you should wate until it's only like....us. cuz i sometimes wanna do that too....yo always gotta be thinking about your presentation of yourself.

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Wed Mar 04 2009, 22:59

yeah but....like no one is around until i like get into class. cuz I only see you at lunch and I have to occasionally turn around and smile..it is cool in algebra cuz alexis already knows i like him and in bio all i have to do is spin in my chair..but it is all good. and i know you dont wanna hear bout all the little things...so..yeah..

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Thu Mar 05 2009, 22:21

*sigh* so not the best day ever today....

not bad...but normal...it is weird...i either have a bad, or great day...never normal..

it is weird...it is so emotionless....

well I have a 97%% in Espanol.... yay!!!

but yeah....boring and so unexciting.....

I did not my recommended amount of V8 I prescribed to myself....haha LOL

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Thu Mar 05 2009, 22:48

yes your daily life is a rollercoaster of emotions XD

and it's all because i took your stupid calculator, right? just admit it!

and i have been wondering, how is it possible tht you write in that bright color? where'd it come from??

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Thu Mar 05 2009, 22:50

yup...and a normal day is like Blahh...

yess..I admit it!! haha no..idk jsut a blah day.......

My Secret!!! haha jk
look up HTML colors on Google...it will give you a list..

LIKNY!!!

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Sun Mar 08 2009, 18:15

Well....as you have seen, I have taken some of thosse cool colors to use!

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Mon Mar 09 2009, 17:36

Haha...yup....

alright.. what were the lyrics to the song again? the one you were singing at school...?

I told you something big was going to happen today...

the fact that he even talked to me when he was a. with his friends and b....well there is no b...was awesome.

and that, i am guessing, was a bogus reason to talk to me.....i mean....he doesn't even do his homework anyways....and did you notice that he didnt want the DEETS...he just asked if we had homework....an obvious excuse to talk to me....ummm....and also...that gaze....*sigh* you missed it....it felt like it lasted a lifetime...and we were both holding it..not just me...and we were looking into eachothers eyes...and you know what? i ham going to go get my mag and type exactly what is said.....I thonk they called it the look of love....i am not sure...but it was there..

this whole "out of crush" think isnt really working for me too well...but i am just gonna continue it tomorrow....and see how it pans out.....

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Mon Mar 09 2009, 20:41

OK. answer this question...When was the last time that I had did research on a guy in my magazines? 7th grade right?

because that was the last time i was confused about a guy...i guess...He is driving me insane...!!!! I have no idea what to do...I was ranting to my dogs as I was doing the laundry.... it is horrible...but....i cant get past all of those...little hints that may or may not be there...and yet when I think of all the things he has done, and all the things that guys do to you...and to tell you the truth..they are kinda similar...and i tell you that they like you which they do....i cant help but think that he maybe might like me too....or maybe I am just telling myself things I wanna hear. either way I am screwed in my ways of thinking....but I am doing research....in my teen maggz(a lot of good that would do)....and I know it is stupid.......but i dont know what else to do.....
but you know what? it is worth a shot...*sigh* I wanna be "out of crush" but he is just making it so hard....*waaa sad

*

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Mon Mar 09 2009, 21:16

well...so i think you are definitely not "out of crush" so just admit it. you want him! and he possibly wants you to....i am sorry but i can't really trust your judgement over some of the things that have happened because i wasn't there to see how it happened, you know? haha, but if you keep it real i could help you decipher some stuff.

and i think that you have been confused about him a bit. go ahead and read the mags and stuff but dont get your hopes up just read it for "shits and giggles"

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Mon Mar 09 2009, 21:22

Ok...i havent "lied" no! "Fibbed" since 2 summers ago.

ok...I am gonna make a list of the things that had happened. And give it to you at lunch...but....yeah....

I told Maria about my -sitch- and she was like "well that means he knows he can come to you for stuff" and i was like...hmm... that is better than nothing...and to admit it that is an wesome answer...that means he thinks i am reliable...hopefully spencer doesnt forget his ipod tomorow...LOL

and I am not admiting that i want him until the facts are clear. haha

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Mon Mar 09 2009, 21:35

haha. being reliable is what guys LOVE about girls! it's a fact, the "gay" guy that i turned straight told me so!!

and i am lookin forward to the list XD

what more facts do u need...him to say it out loud? psh, cuz that aint gonna happen honey *insert mom-ish know it all face *

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Mon Mar 09 2009, 21:36

LOONYkim wrote:: haha. being reliable is what guys LOVE about girls! it's a fact, the "gay" guy that i turned straight told me so!!

and i am lookin forward to the list XD

what more facts do u need...him to say it out loud? psh, cuz that aint gonna happen honey *insert mom-ish know it all face *

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVLkRWcH2zM this is relatable to you...kinda. if vicky had a GF

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Mon Mar 09 2009, 21:40

yes...I dont wanna get my hopes up til i know 4 SURE!!!!

*sigh* and I cant use you....*glares* why do you have to be so desirable???? arrrgh!!! haha

i think that is my El victor song....yay!!!!

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