Inside Smartie's head.

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Deputy Head

Subject: Inside Smartie's head. Sat Feb 02 2008, 22:46

First topic message reminder :

These entries are about my life at school and my boy problem, My friend problems.
Some entries are in 'novel' form but just tell me what u think or if u have any
Questions you know where to post.........& dont hesitate to tell me what u think.

"I fear our friendship will never be as strong
as it was in the past, and our future is
nothing but a stroll down the road to darkness."

"As the place on my back throbbed
from where he had poked me I thought
to myself, Is this what its come to?
Him asking but not caring?"
(because the boy i am talking about asked me something and he said rite after "you know what? i dont care")

"I sat up quickly as the pain seared
through my back.
He had done i again"

"....as he walk swiftly past me, I only wondered...."

"As he tried to get my attention, I gave him
no sign of interest. It tore me, as well as him.
But I knew our friendship would never be the same
again."

"Still constantly growing apart.
Day by day, Hour by hour,
Minute by minute, Second by second.
I knew the time was coming. I just hoped I
could fix it before it was lost forever."

"He is trying to make up for his past behavior,
He thinks I will forgive him. He thinks I am as
ignorant as the others. Well I am not so easily fooled.
I will never forgive him for what he has done."

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Tue Mar 10 2009, 19:56

*sigh* nothing to say.....

I am bored. and in love....

NO!!!

In crush...yet again.

This sucks. and what is with Daniel? (his friend)

After you left he gave me a high five. I dont even know him.

obviously El Victor had said something to him....BUT WHAT!!!?!??

*sigh* I shouldnt like him. I shouldnt. But I cant help it...

*gasp* have you heard of BBmak???

I love the song "Love is unpredictable".

They are a brittish band...

Oh yeah...AWESOME...

they are like Nsync or the BS Boys (haha bs...LIke Bull SH-)

yeah... a pop band in the UK.

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Tue Mar 10 2009, 20:04

[color=crimson][b]well I told you you were in crush!!! and IDK what he could have told his friend.....hmmm*ponders* have not heard of BBmak....and that's funny wiht the BS boys....you just thought of them beacause you liked NSYNC.

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Tue Mar 10 2009, 20:08

Haha I used to like the BS boys too...I have a CD...

Are you pondering what I am pondering?

JK

I am not pondering anything...

That was aline from pinky and the brain.

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Wed Mar 11 2009, 19:34

I have a problem...

I havent even asked him and i am freaking out. not out loud, but....silently...

you know what??

Eff this!!! I dont care....I am gonna forget about it and just be awesome like the way I know I am totally am...

yeeah...alright....

ugh...this is gonna be hard..............

what if he.......grrrr....no no no what if he NOTHINNG...forget it......

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Fri Mar 13 2009, 16:50

*sigh* *shakes head at self*

OMGINBD.....hahaha

well...too bad....and today was kinda alright. I told some people that I was bummed and they were like, "Why?" (Michelle) and she felt sad with me but I was like "You know what? It is okay. I am trying to be happy today."

so I was flirting with him in Biology, which I SHOULDN'T have done...but oh well.

I told Becca (friend) that I shouldnt have been flirting with him. and she was like, "You were just insulting him, you aren't a ver good Flirt.." haha I started to laugh...

but *sigh* I dont know. I dont want to like him anymore, but I cannot help it.....It totally sucks..."I hate how much I love you boy, I hate how much I need you.....but i just can't let you go..."

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Fri Mar 13 2009, 17:28

well....I don't really know what to tell you that I haven't already told you....I am not being a very good help.....GAH. sorry.

so you can go, though, right??

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Fri Mar 13 2009, 17:39

Its ok.....and *sigh* He is making me go back on all my principles....I hate him!!!

I will tell you....when you come for me...

technically, my mom thinks I am gonna go to the movie thing...and she is palm springs....so....I am pretty sure she will say yeah, umm....I am gonna ask when they get home.

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Fri Mar 13 2009, 18:15

wait....so your mother is in palm springs...will she be home when you leave? i am confused...explain better to me like i am retarded....

seriously, i don't geddit.

and yes, guys that you like do make you befuddled and make you act differently than you are normally.....

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Fri Mar 13 2009, 18:25

Ok, my mom had a doctors appointment in Palm Springs.

She left like at 11.00. I had already asked her about going to the movies with Desiree.

she said I could. I didn't tell her I wasnt gonna go....because she didnt know about the Victor thing. so she and my dad arent here. so I am gonna wait they shoul be back befor 6.00...so I guess I will call you when they come back.

and I hae that he does that to me... I will tell you when we get there.

Oh, I was with my parentals yesterday and I was telling my parents about how I dodnt have an appetite the other day. and my mom said what was wrong. (that was the day I was depressed) and I was like "IDK I was tired." and my dad was like "was that it?" and I was like "I guess" and he asked "are you in love" and I panicked and I was like "uhhh...I dont think so" and he was like.." You dont think so?" and I was like "...yeah.." then I left the room panicked.

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Fri Mar 13 2009, 18:53

oh well why don't you just call them right now? oh well...it's 6 already....haha

and OMG! i can't believe that happened. that is like the cell phone thing that i told you this morning! weird...

and that is crazy true.

O-o

and i don't think that we should post in the wedding anymore until others do, okay? cuz we are gonna like take over...

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Fri Mar 13 2009, 18:56

haha o well...and that is totally weird.

they didnt take their cell-y.

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Mon Mar 16 2009, 21:09

*sigh*

SO boring today. Actually I was kinda Happy today...Until 6th period.

Friggin VICTOR!!!

he freaking liked to me...UGH!! I hate him!!!

I am so lucky that I dont care as much....Or I would be devistated. But now, I am just mad as hell and like..."you know? WHATEVER!!!"

*gasp* maybe this color for my hair!!!

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Tue Mar 17 2009, 18:08

well....yes he lied to you...sorry.

well....i like this color for your hair, good luck with that!

i'd rather you be POed than depressed! XD

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Tue Mar 17 2009, 18:17

yeah i guess...well i asked trevino how much Xtra credit 4umm theIR proj. i would have to do to make the test dissapear, she said like 100-105...better start crackin....ummmm can you bring your flash drive tomorow so i can transfer print it out at school?

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Thu Mar 19 2009, 21:39

OK, This totally and completely sucks. I am so P.i.s.s.e.d. right now. This is so typical. for real, I mean...ugh...i dont even wanna talk about it right now....I will write later...I have to go shower and plot to kill someone.. ..(jk..sortof)

I am insane right now....4realz
Dont mess with me. ^_^

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Thu Mar 26 2009, 19:30

OK, so today, in Algebra, we FINALLY got new seating charts, which was awesome....I and not sitting in the same Seat-group-thingy (▓ ▓) but I am in the one next to his, like sitting together, but not really you know??? yeah...

and also in Algebra, Mr B asked me and Victor, and Cassandra Busso, to do this little math festival thing... it sucks because we have to be with the 3rd period group too, so I was thinking about that too.... so it wont be as close as I thought.... because I know Fargo is gonna be there...i cant stand him...gr.... and idk who else. but if I still had an evil plan, this would totally contribute to it... but...I don't...

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Mon Apr 06 2009, 21:46

Okay, I am mad at myself. I am such and idiot. I should not have done this. STUPID JOSH FARGO!!! I let him copy off my Spanish test. I am so disgusted with myself. And to top it all off, I am sick. so I feel worse. I think I am going to go to school tomorrow. I didn't go today. I feel better today. I have been having an on and off sore throat and constant headache and and runny/stuffy nose all day long. It sucks. I think I will be better tomorrow. I felt worse yesterday. So I think I will be better tomorrow, because who wants to miss the week before going on Spring Break? Haha. Yeah, well I guess I had better get to sleep. A good night sleep and I might just want to go tomorrow. I also have rehearsal. I don't think I can bail on that. So I am going to have to go tomorrow. And I have 2 classes with Victor so why miss that? Ugh my hair is horrible.... I guess I am just going to have to deal with it. Okay, well Good night.

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Sat Apr 25 2009, 12:22

OK so I was reallly tired yesterday. I had only gotten like...2.5 hous of sleep. so i went to school and I was like a zombie...seriously. and so I was gonna dithc like...after tutorial like at 10:45 and the gate was right there, and I could have, but i was too chicken to. so I went to 3rd perios biology and i was a zombie there too. and then I wnet to lunch and I ditched 5th cuz I went home at lunch and my mom and dad let me stay so i slept from 2pm - 7 am abd i guess I am ok..I still want to sleep more. I had weird dreams...I dont think i can tell you about them now, so i will on monday or tomorrow.

-scary one
-a taylor lautner one
-boat one
-lilly, oliver one

yeah, I had a dream about taylor lautner...I stole his 20 bucks..it was awesome!!!!!

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Thu Apr 30 2009, 21:58

haha, yeah it was a funny dream. i really wonder if your dreams mean anything? if it's just your psychological self telling you something...or god telling you something, maybe. Or if it's just your imagination going wild with your thoughts...probably/possibly the random one's you thought about that day...i really wanna know. i have the weirdest dreams sometimes mann....

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Fri May 01 2009, 18:53

no, dude, It was weird. I have had 2 dreams about Mr. Barrera already. I think he is the 1st teacher I have ever had a dream about.

I bet I had the scary one because of the stuff we were talking about on thursday...when linda hyperventilated..haha I remember thinking when I was dreaming..."why did we talk about all that crap?"

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Fri May 01 2009, 23:00

haha, your concious and subconcious got mixed up XD

Subject: Re: Inside Smartie's head. Wed May 27 2009, 22:12

Well Life has been good I guess. I have been going to lunch with my friend Alexis and Lupita. I am so nervous about the math festival on friday. I am...a mess. I just hope I don't blank out and let the whole team down. I really want to do good. I just hope...HOPE...we will. Usually I would be really cocky, saying.."Pshhh, I know we are going to win! I am the smartest....." blah blah blah. BUt I am really nervous. I know I can beat the other people...but I just can't help being nervous. It is the local college. IVC. Ummm...The guy I like is also On my team, so I don't know if that is why I am nervous, because I don't want to look a fool in front of him, or what, I don't know. But we are leaving at 8:30am on Friday. We are going to be there all day. I hope my teacher made a good decision picking me. I don't think I word very well when I am under pressure. I have been studying, going over different problems, I just hope it works. I WANT to do good. I HAVE to do good. I WILL do good. Now I just have to make myself believe what I am saying. Oh well, Fingers crossed.
Oh My GOSH!!! my freaking dad is an A$$!!! I swear...He is so stupid. He was trying to clean out my freaing computer of viruses and stuff and that dumba$$ freaking deleted my account. ALl of my pictures, all of my music. all of my videos. I have picture from 3 years ago, from 6th grade....I am so annoyed. I am ready to just leave. I don't know where I will go, but I do not want to stay in my house! Do you know how aweful that is? to not want to be in your own house? It sux, It feels like you have nowhere else to go. I can't stand my dad. I freaking yells at me non stop, I can't rest or just sit down when he is home. it is HELL!!!!! I think I am going to go and stay with my Tia Rose over the summer, well after I finish drivers training and math academy. I have a lot of stuff to do.

{I have a powerpoint due in Biology}
{I have 4 art projects due}
{I am stressed from the festival}
{I have a romeo and juliet movie project due}
{I have finals in:
-spanish
-english
-Algebra}

WEll, I guess life isn't so good. The guy I like is going out with my worst enemy since....2nd grade...and..grrr!!!!
I am getting angry....BYE!!!

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