The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome

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Subject: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Sun Nov 18 2007, 13:37

Well I've gone ahead and opened my own thread. The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome 410894

Here is where I'll post any weird ideas I have for the newspaper or newspaper articles. If I ever have any normal ideas, I'll post them, too. But that is unlikely.

If anyone thinks of a topic that they would love to have turned into an article but don't have the patience or time to do so, you can post it here.

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--Book Reviews to Come: Are We There Yet? by David Levithan and Big Boned by Meg Cabot

--Ask Me Stuff

Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Fri Nov 30 2007, 15:51

*falls throught the door*

*drops to knees*

STREAMIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS my lobely lil partner in all things Huffie, i have an idea and i do not have the time (nor patience) to do anything baout it.

So, here we go.

We have the Quill, and HPFF and FF.net and many of our members use said sites so why not do a Fanfic recommendation? And maybe an interview with an Author to find out what their fav FanFic is, have a link to said FanFic and you know, yeah....thats it.

OMG DEA FOR SPIRIT WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*runs bk to tower*

Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Thu Dec 13 2007, 00:40

My first book review, let me know what you think!

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'Are We There Yet?' by David Levithan

I had previously read another book by David Levithan that was so beautifully written, it was nearly poetic. Therefore, it was with anticipation and suppressed excitement that I began reading 'Are We There Yet?'. I expected the best from this book, and I was not disappointed.

This book is about two brothers, Elijah and Danny, who were good friends when they were younger, but have grown apart from lack of communication and time to spend together, as many teens and adults tend to do. They are also very different--Elijah is friendly, open and trusting, and Danny, the older brother, is more serious and hardworking. Their parents trick them into taking a trip to Italy together...where the brothers learn more about each other and themselves.

It feels like a vacation, so glowingly written that you can gaze with wonder at everything the boys are seeing, and empathize with their hopes and doubts. This is one of those books that can never be adequately described or spoiled. Even if you knew the entire story before you began, as you read you are pulled in and flown far away. Once you begin, you are on a journey that will touch your soul, and the destination doesn't matter.

It's written in present tense, which some authors avoid because they don't want to risk confusing readers...but this book sails along peacefully and there is no confusion whatsoever. The present tense simply makes the characters more alive; you sense what they're thinking, care about what they're feeling, and muse over what they're seeing. You applaud their triumphs, and frown in frustration at their misunderstandings.

Though it's officially a YA (Young Adult) book, the author freely utilizes a very sophisticated and at times rare vocabulary, so that you feel like you're reading something important--something that's effortlessly trying to teach you countless profound concepts. But still, the complex sentences flow so easily, so dreamily that there are no awkward pauses when you might ordinarily need to stop and figure out what a certain word means. You just know...in a gentle, certain manner that leaves no room for doubt.

Their repeated misunderstandings and misconceptions about each other are all the more frustrating, because the author takes us into each of their point of views, so we can understand their words and actions and smile wryly at the ironic little twists the author drops here and there.

When you reach the last page, you let out a long sigh, and that is when you realize you've been holding your breath in mute anticipation of what would happen next. This story lifts you up, and when you're done reading you're in a dreamy little wonderland until someone's jarring voice tugs you down...and you are disappointed that it's over, as exhausted from the trip as the boys are, yet deeply happy that you've gone the distance.

-----

Now here is what I'm thinking--should I tell more of the plot? Or have I outlined enough? I was trying to capture how magical the book is, rather than spoil the story...but I can add more plot if necessary.

Second book review and Ask Streams Questions coming soon.

Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Sat Dec 15 2007, 03:23

Very good! *must read it*

Now, have you finished everything and sent it in to Amy? DEADLINE was yesterday/

Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Sat Dec 15 2007, 20:45

Yeesh...OK I'm off to PM all my stuff. Second book review:

Someone to Run With by David Grossman

The cover of this book is arresting. You see the back of a shaved head wearing one dangling earring, and later learn that this is the heroine of the story. You know that old adage, 'don't judge a book by it's cover'? Well, in case you didn't get the memo, that's outdated. Nowadays, you can usually tell exactly what a book is like by its cover. At least, the graphics people try their hardest for that to be the result.

This book was no disappointment on that front. It was arresting and breathtaking, where at times so much is happening, and so quickly, that the words seem to leap off the page, and at other times the events are so intense that your eyes remain glued to the page.

You are immediately swept off your feet in the beginning, as sixteen-year-old Assaf, our hero, runs after a dog. The dog is leashed, but the boy is barely in control. He is being pulled along, scrambling as fast as he can and attempting not to knock down passersby, and you are whirled into the excitement and frenzy just as he is.

You then learn that Assaf is shy, and not yet grown into his adult-sized body. It is summertime, and so he is employed at Jerusalem's city hall, where nothing really interesting ever happens. He spends his spare time watching TV, playing on the internet, and being pushed around by his best friend. Or at least, they were best friends as children, but as Assaf matures he begins to realize that perhaps the relationship is not quite what it used to be.

One day at work, he gets an unusual assignment: to find the owner of a stray dog. The dog is frantic at being brought in from the streets, so they assume that the dog has an owner. Everyone knows that dogs are smart and return home if they are so anxious to do so, correct? So they decide to tie a rope to the dog, and let it run where it will, hopefully leading Assaf home so he can collect a fine for the owner's negligence.

Meanwhile, backtracking a bit; our heroine, Tamar, decides to rescue a drug-addicted boy who is caught up in the Jerusalem underworld. The author doesn't reveal WHO this boy is until the middle of the book, and therefore I won't either. Trust me, it's a good surprise.

There was one little thing that annoyed me--the author drops a line somewhere in the middle of the book that the heroine is blind, and ignores it afterwards. But it is blatantly obvious throughout the book, before and after he mentions this, that she can indeed see. So I don't know what that bit of information was thrown in for. Was she born blind? Blind as a child? Did the author explain what it was for, but it was later cut out by an editor who deemed the information unimportant? Anyway, it's just one blip on an otherwise perfect radar.

The book is very descriptive and detailed but most of it is described while in action, so it's never dry or useless information. The author extenstively interviewed kids in Jerusalem before he wrote this book, and does a very good job of explaining the complicated underworld life, and how difficult it is to leave once you decide to join.

In general it's very exhilirating. You join Assaf with madly running after the dog for half of the book, meeting the weirdest people in the oddest places...everyone seems to expect and love the dog, but are surprised that Tamar is not with her dog. Apparently, Tamar has been missing for a month.

Among the people we meet are a pizza man, who was expecting them and charges Assaf for a pizza pie, a man with horribly disfiguring scars and a nun who, according to a vow, has been living in a nunnery, completely alone, since the age of twelve...tragically waiting for the people of her small Greek island to join her.

And so, the book is full of interesting characters and rich scenes. Assaf finds himself growing attached to Tamar through all the stories that people, especially the nun, tell him about her; and he is impressed by how many people she knows and how many lives she has touched. What's really amazing to me, is how deep and intense his feelings for her are before he even meets her.

Even when they finally do meet, I don't think they even kiss once on page, yet the tension and intensity of feeling between them is palpable. In my opinion, that's true talent--showing feelings without needing to elaborate much at all. Just a hint here and there...and you are blown away by the depth of emotion. It reminds me of a tower of blocks, where just removing the right block can make the whole tower topple. Except here, things are being built, not destroyed.

There is also the juxtaposition of Rhino, a family friend who has loved Assaf's sister for years, but Assaf's sister is off in America, and doesn't return Rhino's love...again, the author is able to make us feel for the tortured Rhino with just a few well-placed sentences.

The book is full of music as both Tamar and the boy she is trying to rescue are talented musicians. Tamar is a singer and he plays guitar...and the scenes in which they play together are alive and powerful, almost as if you were sitting there marveling at the music...except by then, you know something important about the two of them that nobody else knows.

In case you were wondering what age group it belongs in, I think it's officially adult. Though the story portrays teenagers, and at times the content is so unbelievable and innocent as to almost seem child-like, there is some very strong langauge and drug usage. Anyway, I loved it, and will definitely be reading more of his books.

Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Sat Dec 15 2007, 21:33

Ask Me Stuff: People PM Streams with their pressing questions. Streams answers them. Nobody gets offended, because nobody takes her seriously. If you have any more questions, feel free to PM streams of silver.

--I really hate this kid. I KNOW I will get into trouble if I hex him. Is there any other way that I can get back at him without getting into too much trouble?

Sincerely,
the mobster

Dear Gangster,

Please hex him for me, because there is not enough hexing in the world. Go on, I'll back you up. But if the authorities become involved, I don't know you.

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--A stitch in time saves nine...but what is nine?

I have an Inquiring Mind

Dear Inquiree,

If you'd have done that stitch in time, you'd know by now. Tough on you.

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--Is it possibly to say the truth while lying in bed?

Love, Lazy Girl

Dear La-Z-Girl,

Judging by most things said in bed, I'd have to go with no. Majority rules.

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--I've always wondered, what do batteries run on?

HP fan

Dear Fanny,

They run on your enthusiasm for HP.

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--You know how they say that everything tastes like chicken? Well I was wondering, what do chickens think we taste like?

Vegetarian and Proud!

Dear Proude,

I sincerely hope I never have to find out.

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--Hey I have a question for you..why does red mean stop? Green mean go? And yellow mean slow down or proceed with caution?? To me it doesn't make sense.

Sincerely Color Confused

Dear Confucius,

Well, that's because people were used to stop signs being red (STOP), green fruit being cheap (GO), and yellow skin indicating sick people (PROCEED WITH CAUTION).

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--What do sheep count when they can't fall asleep?

Farm girl

Dear Sheep,

Blades of grass. So much more effective than counting each other.

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--What happens when you swallow your pride?

Humble person

Dear Egomaniac,

I imagine you choke on it. Though some say it tastes bitter.

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--I was thinking, what if someone died in the living room?
Just wondering

Dear Wonderer,

Well, you'd have to move them eventually. No fun watching TV with a dead person on the rug, ya know?

----------

--Do you think vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Cookie Lover

Dear Love,

Of course not. Think of how the poor animals feel, when they see a box of animal crackers. They wouldn't be that insensitive!

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--When people lose weight, where does it go?
Curious about stuff like that, even if it doesn't necessarily concern me

--Dear In Denial,

It goes to magic space, where all that stuff goes after it is banished. Of course, the instant you smell chocolate, it comes rushing back.

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--How come I can pick my ears but not my nose?

Etiquette is weird

Dear Weirdo,

Are you one of those people that pick their ears with their car keys? Get the heck away from me!

----------

--Who killed the Dead Sea?

Sincerely, Future Detective

Dear Wannabe,

Are you asking me off-record?

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--You know what I was thinking, why are dried grapes called raisins? Why not just call them dried grapes?

I love fruit

Dear Fruity,

By calling them raisins, they convinced children around the world to think they were a new fruit. How many kids do you know that don't like raisins?

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--Why can't we tickle ourselves?

I'm bored

Dear IM Board,

Have you no one else to tickle?

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Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Thu Dec 20 2007, 11:47

Streamies, are you going to turn the Opiions into articles for the next addition?

Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Thu Dec 20 2007, 16:06

Yep yep. I will. *g*

Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Sun Jan 06 2008, 15:10

Opinion: Global Warming

Here's Ette, Polly and I discussing Global Warming and Going Green. Ettie admits she doesn't care about the kids of the future, yet demands they name a galaxy after her; Polly worries that sitting on her computer is killing the penguins, yet believes that if it was taken away from her she'd die instead; and Streams delights in creating longer and longer sentences while suffering from a guilt conscience for letting the water run as she brushes her teeth. Read and enjoy.

Streams: Now, I don't pretend to know much about global warming. Every time I look it up I understand some things but have more and more questions.

My opinion, anyway (because I have no problem forming an opinion on subjects that I know little about XD) is that going green can't hurt, right? So I recycle, and try to use stuff that doesn't waste too much energy, but if it's something expensive or something that takes a lot of time without saving too much energy, I don't bother.

I usually let the water run while I wash dishes or brush my teeth for the first minute or so, and then my guilt conscience takes over and I hastily shut the water off. Lol.

Ettie: I think if there was more information available, people like me might actually do something about it.

I don't recycle. Not that I don't want to, I'd actually like to, but the option isn't available to me/my street because we live in blocks of flats and there isn't a recycling box for us, which many other homes have.

Also, I let the water run when i brush my teeth, simply because Dippy drinks it whilst I'm brushing. I don't keep water running whilst washing the dishes, i just fill the bowl and wash away like a loon.

I don't use energy saving lightbulbs because they're toooooooo expensive. And John often complains that i have turned our home into Blackpool Alluminations because i leave the lights on but lately I've been turning them off! Just not as often as I should.

I don't understand the whole global foot print, no one has explained it in Ettie terms for me to even begin to comprehend it. I waste gas on keeping my home warm because John thinks we live on farm (he leaves ALL the doors open letting the draft in BIG time *is shivering because he's just done that*

Streams: I think there isn't enough basis for comparison. They've only been keeping records and noticed significant changes in global warming for the past hundred years or so, and the world is thousands or millions years old! Maybe the world warms up once every thousand years, maybe it's a normal occurrence. We have no way of knowing, really.

Ettie: I agree with Streamies, not enough time and research has gone into the whole ice caps melting thingy, maybe Earth does heat up every thousand years, we don't know, again it all comes down to what we are told, and we're not told enough.

And no i don't feel guilty about not saving the planet etc because well will i be here in a hundred years? Nope.

Streams: Well I do care about the kids of the future! Cuz they'll be around in a 100 years.

On the other hand, they'll probably be fine. I think all the global warming panic is for nothing, but just in case, it doesn't hurt to take a few of the easier measures, if they really do help as much as they claim it will.

Oh, and I also shut the lights off whenever I leave a room. But that's probably cuz my Mom and Dad were forever going on about how we don't own the electric company. So it was more to save money than to save energy...but ah...killing two birds with one stone! XD

Besides, money is energy! ... you figure it out!

Ettie: The kids of our future. If I were a parent perhaps I'd be more concerned, but I'm not and it ain't gonna happen so *shrugs* I'll switch off the kettle when I'm finished with it, but that's my bit for those kiddies in 100 years. They HAD BETTER name a star or a galaxy after me.

And the government here needs to realise that just because you live in a block of flats doesn't mean you don't want to recycle!

Polly: Well, I think that we should be doing stuff about it, it's okay saying it's not going to affect us it's going to affect our children's children's children's children's children. But it is affecting us--look at the summer we had here in England. Rain. That's not summer, it was more like Autumn and this is because the state of the world.

Yeah I know some things are not convenient for people but I think we should all try and do something for the world. I know I am sitting on the computer right now and would probably die if it was taken away from me but we're killing the penguins! Just think of them, adorable little things waddling along and they don't have as big as a home any more because us selfish humans are melting their homes.

I do use energy saving light bulbs and recycle, but sometimes I think it is not enough I think the people who create things should work more on sorting out global warming instead of creating new gaming equipment etc.

The only time we can clearly see the stars now is if we travel out to the country to see them and that is of no fault of our own.

Ettie: I'm sorry but I disagree completely on that. *points to her living room window and the stars* I don't live in the country, yet I can see the stars perfectly well.

Streams: Lol...the reason you usually can't see the stars in the city is because all the bright lights interfere with your long-distance vision, especially if you're trying to see tiny pinpricks of light a gazillion light years away. Not because there is smog or whatever. Though some places do have smog and pollution...but usually, yeah, it's because it's too bright out and too many buildings in the way.

Ettie: Well, the Smoggies *points at Middlesborough* they know about smog.

Also I think for you Polly, you live too close to London, whereas places like Newcastle, Glasgow, Manchester, Liverpool, Leeds etc, they don't have the overcrowdedness of London. Perhaps, if you truly want to see the stars each night, you should move lol. However theres nothing special about them at the moment, except for the few shooting stars.

A pause now, while we wonder why we're all talking about the stars...and Streams wonders how anyone can be casual about shooting stars...

Polly: Although I think that something should be done, there is very little that could be done. Yeah, we can recycle which most people do now as the government has given out special bins for free, so we can put things in. There is little we can do to stop it I think what we are doing now is only delaying the effect where the sun will destroy the earth.

Streams: In my opinion, it's not as big a deal as they're making of it. And if the globe wants to warm up...um no offense to scientists or politicians or whatever, but in the long run I think that's really beyond our control.

Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Sun Jan 06 2008, 16:55

lmao i cant remember asking for a star of galaxy named after me, but heck i sure hope they do! i love ti streamies well done!

Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Wed Jan 09 2008, 10:57

I've modded you for this forum, so you should be able to lock and move threads to the waste paper bin now The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome 436937

Last edited by on Thu Jan 17 2008, 11:34; edited 1 time in total

Ooh great well that'll come in handy. Anyway, my next Opinion piece. Tada! (Btw I've mixed and matched this up until I can't read it straight anymore, so when you're reading it, if you see something that seems a bit out of context, tell me and I'll rearrange it!)

Opinion: Dumbledore is gay!

Streams, head pillowed lazily on arms: So...Jo waits until all her books are published, and then casually mentions in an interview that Dumbledore is gay. My initial reaction was, 'He's gay...so what?' Today's generation is well-informed about gay people and generally the attitude is very pro-gay. (At least in the US where I live. Maybe NY is more open-minded than some places?)

Ettie, hands indignantly on hips: Today's world is so not bothered with who is gay and who isn't, with the exception of the church and I'm sorry but, if God were real (apologies to all believers) he/she would love each and every one of us individually, not because they were in love with the opposite sex or led a life of pure goodness, IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate religion it's annoying and I always insult people without meaning to so my APOLOGIES again, but this is the opinion of a non-believer making a point that people should not live their lives dictated by rules of the church.

June, showing up with a case of firewhiskey: Well, I don't really care that he's gay... It's an interesting tidbit about his personal life, but it doesn't change the character that he was throughout the books. Being gay doesn't change his wisdom, his mistakes, his power, or the fact that he was a great wizard.

Ettie, calmed by the presence of firewhiskey: The big DD, gay.... Who cares? We all have a right to chose our own lives, sexual preferences etc, why shouldn't a wizard in a book? Heck, just because he's the world's greatest wizard in the books doesn't mean he can't be whoever he wants to be.

Polly, parading in with a huge sandwich in one hand: I'm not really bothered about him being gay, because I do know some gay people and I think it is up to them.

--

Streams, eyeing the case of firewhiskey: The next thing that popped into my head was, 'Zomg. there are going to be disgusting Harry/Dumby fics now, aren't there?'

Ettie, subtly banishing all the firewhiskey to her secret stash: I agree with Streamies on the whole fics thing, thankfully I've yet to come across one in the Quill's submission queue, and don't y'all start writing them just for me to read! Lol.

June, glaring indignantly at Ettie: I agree wholeheartedly with Jo when she said, "I can only imagine the fanfiction now," or something along those lines.

--

Polly, cramming the last of the sandwich into her mouth: You can see now why Dumbledore let Grindy get away with everything, but still I just wish it had been mentioned in the books.

Streams, forehead creased in thought: The only reason I was upset that he was gay, was because of the plotline about how he loved Grindelwald as more than, ya know, just a friend. So Dumbledore is kind of excused for letting Grindelwald be evil for a while before he killed him.

Ettie, smirking happily: That sentence soooooooooooo speaks volumes for Snape as well.

Streams, blithely going on: The reason I was upset is because I liked Dumbledore being imperfect and having made a mistake based on his own feelings rather than what was the 'right thing' to do. It made him more human in my eyes, and not so much like an unattainable hero.

Make no mistake, I still think Dumby's awesome! But I felt so sorry for him, having to kill the person he loved, that I forgave him for letting Grindy get away with the bad stuff, and then Dumby was adorably holier-than-thou once more....

Ettie, trying to sneakily shove the now-empty case under the table before Streams realizes it's all gone: I think his love for Grindly was his downfall, whereas Snape's love for Lily was his redemption, two characters people think are so very unalike are actually more similar then any of us could have imagined.

Which brings me onto the following, why I believe DD trusted Snape; he's been there, he'd loved and lost. And I think DD loved Snape, as a friend, like he loved Harry as a son. Someone I know said the following not long after learning of DD being outed: "DD wants to be with Snape, DD wants to be with Harry" - I so do not think so.

Streams is violently sick in the rubbish bin: Oh ewww...Dumby/Snape...I didn't even THINK of that!

--

Ettie, laughing at how poor Streamies can be sick without even imbibing any firewhiskey: A gay man can have friends he loves and cares for without having a sexual attraction to them, jesus i lobe my girly friends, I love my men friends, and I love my boyfriend; doesn't mean I wanna be with them all, just John.

And Jack.

And Lucius.

And Draco...

--

Streams, suddenly realizing that all the firewhiskey's gone, and frowning accusingly at Ettie: I think she should've revealed it sooner, or dropped some hints in the books though. It would've been fun!

Amy, whipping off her Invisibility Cloak: Three words: purple pimp suit.

June, incredulous: Amy, you read my mind!

Streams, very confused about what pimps have to do with gays: Ah, but come on Amy, I bet you never picked up on that! I mean, I just figured he had really eccentric taste or whatever. I mean, what about Fudge's lime green bowler hat? Huh? xD

Ettie, going into fits of laughter: I agree with Amy, that suit should have so given it away,and his fondness for male company....all those lonely nights in his office, Harry always in there... only joking lol.

Streams, opening drawers at random in search of the firewhiskey: Oh please, but you can write those all off as JUST BEING FRIENDS, which they were. What about his dance with McGonagall when he was drunk at some Christmas feast or Yule ball or summat? Huh? He didn't dance with GUYS when he was drunk. He danced with LADIES.

You know what, I'm starting to think Jo just made it up afterwards, cuz she didn't have the guts to put it into the book but she still wanted the pro-gay world to love her. Hmmmm.

Ettie, now literally rofl as she has fallen off her chair: Lol well, my gay friends always dance with ladies at parties, I mean, you wouldn't want a whole school, filled with mocking teens and snobs and well everyone else to know your business. DD was a private man, maybe he just didn't want to advertise to the world that he was gay. I mean, thats what Jo is for, advertising DD's sexual preferences...

Polly, holding out a hand to help Ettie up: Although I think it is a great plot twist, I would have loved Jo to out it in the books instead of revealing it later like a useless piece of information, like what Ginny did after the books.

I would have loved to see Harry, Ron and Hermione's reactions to it. I can just imagine it now, Hermione saying something like, "Of course it was obvious." And Ron being like, "Obvious?! How in Merlin's name was it obvious?"

Anyway yes I really think that it should have been placed into the books, or like other people have said at least hinted to. The purple pimp suit doesn't really give anything away, because Lockhart wears pink which is more gay than anything else.

Streams, grinning jubilantly: Ta, Polly. I knew there had to be someone, somewhere, who would agree with me that a purple pimp suit is too vague a reference to cite for a character being gay. Although now that you mention it...hold on...Lockhart actually is gay...isn't he?

--

Ettie, pulling a bottle of firewhiskey seemingly out of the air and taking a long draught: REJOICE! Dumbledore is gay and I still love the funny old nitwit!

Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Thu Jan 17 2008, 01:16

*crying with laughter*

you've turned me into an alcoholic

i lobe it!

Well done! I doubt anyone but you could tur the opinions into an article, well done!

Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Thu Jan 17 2008, 11:36

xD Glad ya like it..great then. I think I'll send them both off to Amy now, so I know I'm done with them.

Next up: The Sweet Far Thing book review.

Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Fri Jan 18 2008, 07:07

Heh, I hope my copy of that arrives before I have to put it into the pensieve, I don't want to be spoiled :D

And the DD article is great. Very funny :D

Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Tue Feb 12 2008, 10:32

Heyhey Streamies,

HOw's things coming on? Are you nearly finished? Thursday is nearly HERE!!!! So i thought i'd come in and you know, see how you're getting on lol. I still love the DD article!

Last edited by on Fri Feb 15 2008, 08:56; edited 1 time in total

xD thanks. if I had the time and patience, I'd redo the other one to be funny, too. But ah...time ticks merrily on...Here's my Celebrity Gossip piece, and I'd like some opinions on it! Is there anything I should change? Anyone obvious that I've forgotten and should put in? Something you wanted to see and just aren't seeing? Do tell!

-----

Standing tall on the turrets of my invisible lookout tower, flying about the world on my thestral, Elathora; striding silently among you in nondescript robes, I observe but remain unseen, listen but remain undiscovered. I see and hear all! I am never without my quill, and nothing escapes my eye!

--The clever Elf caused a commotion last week at a purportedly famous Muggle zoo in London. It need not even be mentioned which animals she was attempting to free. The Elf cried openly as she was escorted away from the rare English hippo enclosure, demanding that she be allowed to take them home. I wonder at which point an appreciation for a rare and wonderful creature becomes an obsession?

--The Three Broomsticks, always a lure for the odd and slightly insane, was host to a new music sensation on Sunday. I wasn't going to stay for the performance as I had a slight head cold, but when I looked up from my drink, I was quite shocked to see S.S. (yes, your favorite greasy-haired one) strumming a guitar on the podium. Naturally, I had to stay for the performance. S. S. was brilliant, but the lead singer had the voice of a house-elf and the physique of a troll!

--Incidentally, E. of Hufflepuff was spotted happily snogging the drummer (who seemed to have lost half his shirt sometime during the performance...yeah, I dunno why the other half stayed on) and yours truly saw them strolling off arm in arm, singing at the top of their lungs. Several gentlemen were most displeased about this event, and went tearing off after E. and the drummer, their pleas fading beneath E's enthusiastic singing. One man in particular swiped a tear from his eye before the Kohl began to smear, as he watched E. disappear down Diagon Alley.

--R. ...wizard of mystery, ah! Gathering the love of thousands as he 'studies' with his feet up before the roaring fire, scoffing at tropical-flavored tea as a drink for the masses. I sometimes see him for a moment striding smoothly up Smashcull Street (the equivalent of Knockturn Alley, for those of you who are unaware) though I've yet to see him buy anything. He walks about almost as if he owns all the shops, which sometimes makes me wonder.... Anyway, he was lounging about a couple days ago without a hat, coat or scarf in zero-degree weather. When I offered him a scarf, he huffed, "Don't insult me!" and stalked away.

--C., our dear winged one. I see her less and less often now, though that may be due to the fact that her snowy white feathers are difficult to discern against the equally pure sky, white with snow-filled clouds. When last I saw her, she was flying alongside a ship from which all vessels seemed to retreat in fear and respect...but I distinctly saw the captain of the feared ship shove a parrot off his shoulder and hold out an arm for her to rest on, as she was being buffeted about most fiercely by an incoming storm.

--I can't say I was too surprised when I saw J. painting a masterpiece by the side of a river. She was furiously flinging paint onto the canvas, twisting her wand in an innovative way that caused the landscape she was capturing to shimmer and appear three-dimensional as well as move. What else would a lover of romance be doing, but creating works of art?

--Yes, the rumors you have been hearing are true. A certain silvery damsel is indeed my long-lost twin sister. If you must know, we had a family reunion with just the two of us last week. It was rudely interrupted by a band of Marauders, but ah well. One can't have everything.

--That other rumor is quite sadly true as well. I am making a disgrace of myself on stage performing a pantomime with some good friends, who are, fortunately, good actresses as well. When we get picked up by a major production company, the play will be nothing but praised by me, and you will never have heard me utter the first one-and-a-half sentences. They will have vanished from your memory. Yes. I can make that happen.

--On a cold night in Hogsmeade, A.B. and R. D. were particularly pleasant company. To me, those two seem almost like sisters because of their tendency to talk over one another. A. B. gallantly paid for all the drinks and we succeeded in scaring off a Hogwarts first year who had thought to sneak in after hours. I nearly snuck away too when it was time for me to leave, but R. D. came pelting outside after me, slurring, "How could you leave us so soon, dear?" ...Ah, so I stayed a bit longer. Nobody died.

--Speaking of death, you'd be wise to stay away from a certain Junebug. That girl and her wand seem to understand each other quite well--though her spells aren't as elaborate as some say she is capable of, they are often deadly because they are underestimated. Keep a sharp lookout, and don't challenge her to a duel unless you are prepared to suffer!

--Where I come from, all the ducks fly south for winter. In chilly France however, I spotted our favorite duck deliberately winging her way northwest...we had a bit of a collision, if you must know, because she was flying straight up and didn't hear Elathora until it was too late. My poor dear pet now has a bruised belly, thanks to the hard beak of one duck. Ah well, Duck was very gracious about it, as she always is, and profusely apologized. Just as well, because Elathora was still considering kicking her out of the air. I calmed them both down with sweet biscuits, and we each went on our merry way.

--The little princess and her golden-brown friend! Surely you've heard of their spat by now? Read on: A. challenged A. G. to a duel for the rights to Milo. A. G. staunchly agreed to fight to the death for their hero, only when A. drew her wand and shot a spell, A. G. sneakily whipped out a photograph of Milo and held it to her chest. The photograph was badly mangled by the spell and they both adjourned to weep over it and apologize profusely for desecrating an image of Milo.

That's all for now, lovelies. If you are extremely clever, nice, ugly or stupid, maybe next time you'll be seen by me, too. And you can all stop sending me fan mail. I'm becoming a pauper giving all your owls snacks, and you should know I pick up the entire stack of mail and place it gently--very gently--into the rubbish bin.

--------

Next up: Two book reviews...gah. xD

Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Wed Feb 13 2008, 02:13

thats bloomin brilliants Streamies! *wonders who the drummer was and who E and R are* grin

When i had this idea i didnt think it could be as brilliantly written as what you wrote! EEK it rocked.

Quote :: I wonder at which point an appreciation for a rare and wonderful creature becomes an obsession?

That had me cracking up, grin

well done

Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Wed Feb 13 2008, 23:52

Ty ty *bow* Now for my first book review: (experimenting with no caps xD)

meh it's still too long I'll shorten it later on today *frowns at watch* must go to sleep.

-----
the sweet far thing by libba bray

book review by streams of silver

ratings:

1: utterly horrid
2: didn't like it. a load of decently-written rubbish.
3: really liked it. well-written, clever, drew a few smiles and perhaps some tears.
4: loved it. so good, it was practically happening before my eyes. however, missing that one tiny spark that would differentiate it from ...
5: pure mind-warping genius.

minor spoilers ahead

-----

you never know when a seemingly innocent title will come back to haunt you. ah, the sweet far thing. sweet, perhaps, but so very far away, i could barely make out the shape of it in the foggy distance...some of you are already aware that this book was a huge disappointment to me. i loved the first book - that goes without saying. if i hadn't loved the first one, i would never have bothered with the rest. that is why i desperately need to express my distress: it is the ones we love that hold the power to hurt us the most.

let me explain the reason for my agitation. the sweet far thing was sweet indeed. the style of writing remained lovely, the characters complex, the plot gnarled. it contained all the ingredients for an excellent book, but there is one important thing to keep in mind: it was meant to be the third book in a trilogy.

although it was kind of good, i expected the bar to be raised for the third book in a trilogy. i needed closure. I wanted explanations. I wanted to understand. the author built up a fantastic world, and she seemed to have it under control. the third book made me wonder if in fact the author just kept making it up as she went along - or else, wouldn't she have explained at least some of the intricacies that make up the realms? you walk away from this book just as dazed as when you began reading the first book. what are the realms, really? who is really in control? why in one minute can only Gemma enter the realms, and in the next people are threatening to sneak in on their own? why does Gemma's power go on the blink - simply because it makes for an interesting plotline? can someone please, please explain this to Gemma - and, consequently, us?

Quote :: The Order - the mysterious group her mother was once part of - is grappling for control of the realms, as is the Rakshana. Spence's burned East Wing is being rebuilt, but why now? Gemma and her friends see Pippa, but she is not the same. And their friendship faces its gravest trial as Gemma must decide once and for all what role she is meant for.

"The Order - the mysterious group her mother was once part of - is grappling for control of the realms, as is the Rakshana." ok, what else is new? seriously, there's nothing new? really? oh, then why the need for a third book? oh, perhaps to answer the questions that were raised in the first two books. no? that's not happening either? then what was the utter point???

"Gemma and her friends see Pippa, but she is not the same." oh? when we first meet her, she seems to be just about the same as we left her, only slightly more arrogant...

"And their friendship faces its gravest trial as Gemma must decide once and for all what role she is meant for." ok. first of all, i never thought much of their friendship. Gemma allows herself to be bullied around by Felicity nearly ALL the time. and Ann just hangs out with them because everyone besides Gemma has pushed her away. big whoop for the 'friendship.'

and now, 'Gemma must decide' *nods frantically* why then, at the end of the book, has she still not decided?!

you will be pleased to discover that the same old conflicts that got old towards the end of the second book are back! are the weird people of the realms on her side? how many of her teachers are her enemies? how many times will her teacher switch sides? now i'm an enemy, now i'm not. now i'm an enemy - ha, i was fooling you before! now i'm not - really, i'm on your side. now i am your enemy yet AGAIN - because really, i only look out for myself!

...no, i'm not exaggerating. *sigh* and the same thing with kartik/gemma. kartik turns it off. and on. and off. and on. and off. and on...

--

another disturbing aspect, what is up with all the rambling? 250 pages into the book, Bray goes off into an off-topic ramble. i honestly don't even remember what it was, just that i was like, "...what...how...?" a lot of this book could've been improved by simple editing. some strategic cutting and a bit of smoothing out the rough edges would've made a world of a difference.

now, you'd think with all that page time she'd at least have been able to develop the characters. but nope, KABAMO and the characters have changed. they go from immature children to clear-thinking, rational people with just one flick of the page. i asked a friendly badger for her opinion and she agreed that the character changes were ridiculously abrupt. i'm sorry, but i was expecting better. i don't have to force myself through a mediocre book. if it's good enough, i'll be instantly hooked. if it isn't, i'm going to resent yawning my way through tons of pages just for that hint of fresh air every once in a while.

if anyone could point me towards the pages where Ann becomes less of a sap and begins to develop into the confident character she is at the end, I'd be eternally grateful. I want so badly to love this book, and it's just about killing me that I can't.

I solemnly rate this a 2. It would've been a 3 if my expectations hadn't been so hopeful.

and i'll leave you with this thought: one could perhaps wonder why Libba's blog is more entertaining than her latest book...

---------
I wanted to cut even more, but really this all needs to be said and I'm tired. So I'm doing just the one book review this time...but it's as long as two. xD

Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Mon Mar 03 2008, 19:15

EDITION SEVEN!

THIS IS NOT DONE. IT'S A DRAFT. I'm posting it so that a little voice in the back of my head should keep insisting, 'streams, go finish the book review, go finish, go finish, go finish...' xD

Rhett Butler's People by Donald McCaig

Book Review by Streams

If there are any Gone With the Wind fans amongst us, you will recall the bittersweet ending. In fact, even if you aren't a fan, chances are you've heard this doom-filled statement once or twice: 'Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.'

The novel Scarlett did a shoddy job of being a sequel. It was okay, in its odd way, but there wasn't enough Rhett in it, and way too many never-before-heard-of Irish relatives.

Rhett Butler's People has no intention of being an entire new book. It doesn't attempt to create a new and better story about the characters, rather, it focuses on Rhett and his entire backstory.

Spoiler:

Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Thu Mar 27 2008, 17:57

Rhett Butler's People by Donald McCaig 
Book Review by Streams 

Chances are you've heard of Gone With the Wind, and know the bittersweet taste it left after you finished reading it. The novel Scarlett did a shoddy job of being a sequel. It was okay, in its odd way, but there wasn't enough of dashing Rhett in it, and way too many never-before-heard-of Irish relatives. 
Rhett Butler's People has no intention of being an entire new book. It doesn't attempt to create a new and better story about the characters, rather, it focuses on Rhett and his entire backstory - which is utterly fascinating. 
I never really read Gone With the Wind, since I have no patience for Ye Olde English. Therefore, many aspects of this book were a complete surprise. Actually, maybe some of these things were entirely made up my McCaig. Either way, they're brilliant. 
We get to see Rhett from when he's a child until a few months after the end of Gone With the Wind. The child Rhett is neglected and abused, until the point where he's reduced to working the fields like a common slave. That is an excellent explanation for why Rhett finds it so hard to admit his love for Scarlett . . . he wasn't shown enough love as a child. It is amazing he grew into the great person he eventually became, scalawag or not. (His development into a kind-of-good person rather than a wholly evil one was due in part to his relationship with a free black family, who have a son his age named Tunis Bonneau, and partly because Rhett is just awesome, and resolved never to be like his father.) 
We really do get to see the sensitive, regretful side of Rhett that we otherwise miss in other books, always lost behind his mocking smirk. We get to know Rhett's sister Rosemary - whom Rhett loves deeply, and discover that Melly isn't such an angel as she appeared to be (although she really does try!) And Ashley - whatever. Stupid inconsistent wishy-washy mule. 
When Rhett sets up blockade running with Tunis Bonneau, and there is a fun rapport between them. Bonnie's death is anti-climactic, but I guess McCaig figured that we already saw enough of that in Gone With the Wind. 
We find out who the black man that Rhett killed is, and how much it hurt Rhett. After the end of the Gone With the Wind storyline, someone begins setting fires in Tara, burning first their winter provisions, then a horse, then a dog, and finally Tara itself . . . the identity of the arsonist isn't hard to figure out, but when he comes over there with a gun after he sees that they all escaped safely from the burning Tara and decides to shoot someone - he does. He kills someone, and it is so shocking and unexpected that I just can't tell you who dies. You'll have to read the book. 
Rhett and Scarlett reconcile without a really good explanation - basically they reunite because Rhett decides to forgive her - and we never really see them talking things over. But maybe it's true that sometimes words aren't necessary. Rhett does tell Scarlett that he'll tell her about Tunis Bonneau someday, and that's a good sign - the fact that he's willing to bring up his past. He also resolves to try and stop hiding his feelings, and he says he'll never mock her again. That line is beyond fantastic. 
The end is perhaps even slightly too fluffy, but ah, we deserve a fluffy ending after that heartbreaker at the end of Gone With the Wind. 
This one gets 4/5, for being eloquent, smooth, interesting and actually, a darn good sequel.

Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Thu Mar 27 2008, 18:21

Streamsy!!! xD We need to decide on a book for the collaboration book review thingamajiggy, if that's still on.

Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Thu Mar 27 2008, 19:05

Okay, so we're all insane in this. xD

Opinion: Global Warming

Setting:

Streams sits cross-legged on the striped rug, a jelly donut in one hand, a book in the other. Ettie is sprawled on the settee, applying fire-engine red nail polish with a mobile phone tucked between her ear and shoulder. Polly is sketching something, using lots of black pastel. A bronze triangle is attached to thin chain around her neck, and it swings back and forth as Polly draws furiously.

Act 1:

Streams looks up from her book, holding her place with one finger: "Now, I don't pretend to know much about global warming. Every time I look it up I understand some things but have more and more questions.

"My opinion, anyway (because I have no problem forming an opinion on subjects that I know little about) is that going green can't hurt, right? So I recycle, and try to use stuff that doesn't waste too much energy, but if it's something expensive, or something that takes up a lot of my time without saving too much energy, I don't bother.

"I usually let the water run while I wash dishes or brush my teeth for the first minute or so, and then my guilt conscience takes over and I hastily shut the water off.

Ettie squeals into her phone: "I KNOW! They're selling it for ADDPOUNDSIGN12! HOW can you not love it?!"

Streams stares at her pointedly.

Ettie rolls her eyes and lifts her head, letting her phone tumble to the floor: "I think if there was more information available, people like me might actually do something about it.

"I don't recycle. Not that I don't want to, I'd actually like to, but the option isn't available to me/my street because we live in blocks of flats and there isn't a recycling box for us, which many other homes have.

"Also, I let the water run when i brush my teeth, simply because Dippy drinks it whilst I'm brushing. I don't keep water running whilst washing the dishes, i just fill the bowl and wash away like a loon.

"I don't use energy saving lightbulbs because they're toooooooo expensive. And John often complains that i have turned our home into Blackpool Alluminations because i leave the lights on but lately I've been turning them off! Just not as often as I should.

"I don't understand the whole global foot print, no one has explained it in Ettie terms for me to even begin to comprehend it. I waste gas on keeping my home warm because John thinks we live on farm (he leaves ALL the doors open letting the draft in BIG time)."

Ettie shivers, and then turns to Streamies: "Are we done? Give me back my phone!"

Streams glares at her and takes a large bite of donut. Jelly squirts onto her chin: "No, we are not done."

She wipes the jelly off with the back of her hand, and then snaps Ettie's phone shut, tucking it into her pocket: "I think there isn't enough basis for comparison. They've only been keeping records and noticed significant changes in global warming for the past hundred years or so, and the world is thousands or millions years old! Maybe the world warms up once every thousand years, maybe it's a normal occurrence. We have no way of knowing, really."

Ettie sighs, blowing on her right hand to dry the wet polish: "I agree with Streamies, not enough time and research has gone into the whole ice caps melting thingy, maybe Earth does heat up every thousand years, we don't know, again it all comes down to what we are told, and we're not told enough.

"And no i don't feel guilty about not saving the planet etc because well will i be here in a hundred years? Nope."

Streams is open-mouthed in shock. A bit of partially-chewed jelly donut is clearly visible: "Well I do care about the kids of the future! Cuz they'll be around in a 100 years."

Streams paused as she considered the inane statement she had just uttered. Shrugging, she swallowed and continued: "On the other hand, they'll probably be fine. I think all the global warming panic is for nothing, but just in case, it doesn't hurt to take a few of the easier measures, if they really do help as much as they claim it will.

"Oh, and I also shut the lights off whenever I leave a room. But that's probably cuz my Mom and Dad were forever going on about how we don't own the electric company. So it was more to save money than to save energy...but ah...killing two birds with one stone!

"Besides, money is energy! ...You figure it out!"

The room plunges into darkness. Ettie and Streams scream. There is no sound from Polly.

"Omg, I think they killed Polly!" Ettie shrieks.

"Omg, I got jelly on my shirt! Open the darn lights!" Streams yells, louder.

Ettie snorts, and decides to do her left-hand polish in the dark: "The kids of our future. If I were a parent perhaps I'd be more concerned, but I'm not and it ain't gonna happen so she shrugs carelessly I'll switch off the kettle when I'm finished with it, but that's my bit for those kiddies in 100 years. They HAD BETTER name a star or a galaxy after me.

Streams raised an eyebrow. It flew right over your head, though - because it's dark. Sigh.

Ettie swears, realizing she's painted her hand and perhaps her jeans with fire-engine red: "And the government here needs to realise that just because you live in a block of flats doesn't mean you don't want to recycle!"

A soft voice says: "Well, I think that we should be doing stuff about it, it's okay saying it's not going to affect us it's going to affect our children's children's children's children's children. But it is affecting us--look at the summer we had here in England. Rain. That's not summer, it was more like Autumn and this is because the state of the world."

Streams and Ettie lift their head haughtily, trying to cover up the fact that they had visibly jumped when Polly had spoken.

Polly sighs. The parchment she had been drawing on rustles.: "Why are the lights out? I can't draw in the dark!"

The sound of Streams smacking her lips and licking her fingers is audible to all: "Hey, we're saving electricity! Cool!"

Ettie grimaces, though her perfect sneer is wasted in the pitch blackness. "Hey Polly, think you can turn on the lights? Even though I'm not really sure I want to see what Streams looks like at the moment . . ."

There is a swish and a soft popping noise from Polly's vicinity, and the lights go back on. Streams has a jelly mustache, beard and sideburns. Ettie swears and rushes to the sink, trying to wash a great big spot of polish off her jeans leg.

Polly continues dreamily: "Yeah I know some things are not convenient for people but I think we should all try and do something for the world. I know I am sitting on the computer right now and would probably die if it was taken away from me but we're killing the penguins! Just think of them, adorable little things waddling along and they don't have as big as a home any more because us selfish humans are melting their homes.

Streams and Ettie looked at each other bemusedly. Computers? Penguins? Exactly WHO was this Polly?

Polly began drawing again, her hand flying over the paper as she spoke: "I do use energy saving light bulbs and recycle, but sometimes I think it is not enough I think the people who create things should work more on sorting out global warming instead of creating new gaming equipment etc.

"The only time we can clearly see the stars now is if we travel out to the country to see them and that is of no fault but our own."

Ettie, staring sadly at her ruined jeans, but starting to get angry: "Who shut the lights in the first place? I'm going to kill them. Also, I'm sorry but I disagree completely with what you just said, Polly. I don't live in the country, yet I can see the stars perfectly well.

Streams laughs. Her donut is gone, but she hasn't wiped the jelly from her face. She looks demented: "The reason you usually can't see the stars in the city is because all the bright lights interfere with your long-distance vision, especially if you're trying to see tiny pinpricks of light a gazillion light years away. Not because there is smog or whatever. Though some places do have smog and pollution...but usually, yeah, it's because it's too bright out and too many buildings in the way."

Ettie smirks, and uncaps her nail polish again, staring into the red depths of the bottle thoughtfully: "Well, the Smoggies," she points at the wall, and Streams gleans, through her clairvoyant powers, that Ettie is meaning to point towards Middlesborough "they know about smog.

"Also I think for you Polly, you live too close to London, whereas places like Newcastle, Glasgow, Manchester, Liverpool, Leeds etc, aren't as overcrowded as London. Perhaps, if you truly want to see the stars each night, you should move! However theres nothing special about them at the moment, except for the few shooting stars."

Streams gasps: "Ettie! How can you be so blase about SHOOTING STARS?!"

Ettie snorts and dumps the bottle of nail polish over Streamies' head. Streams shrieks, polish dripping from her face and hair, and accuses Ettie: "You made me dirty!"

Polly laughs at that: "Although I think that something should be done, there is very little that could be done. Yeah, we can recycle which most people do now as the government has given out special bins for free, so we can put things in. There is little we can do to stop it I think what we are doing now is only delaying the effect where the sun will destroy the earth."

Streams throws a book at Polly: "In my opinion, it's not as big a deal as they're making of it. And if the globe wants to warm up...um no offense to scientists or politicians or whatever, but in the long run I think that's really beyond our control."

Polly holds up her completed drawing. It is of a black door, slightly ajar. It opens into blackness. It is amazing in that she has used only black, and yet the image is clearly visible . . . almost glowing. Polly says enigmatically: "A lot of things are beyond our control."

Streams and Ettie are sucked through the drawing of a doorway, looks of shock and panic on their faces. Polly grins manically, folds the paper into quarters, tucks it into her shoulder bag, and exits the room.

----------

Well, I'm not sure how funny this is ... it's really weird though. Maybe I'll still make it funnier. Maybe not. We'll see. Also, I'll probably do it in two parts . . . maybe three.

And Juneeey all we need to do is choose a book, read it, then chat about it on MSN. Easy as pie. I'm going to the library tomorrow, so let's decide on a book tonight so I can get it then!

Subject: Re: The Desk of Streams--Clutter is Welcome Fri Mar 28 2008, 06:11

lmao i LOVE it. John says "your all mad." i think i agree with him, we are mad but we're brilliant for it.

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