Snapes Decision Challenge (fic 5)

Muerta Viva
I looked into that old fool’s clear blue eyes-eyes now so riddled with pain from his trip to recover the Dark Lord’s horcrux-it had been a failure, regrettably. As I stood there, listening to his begging and pleading for me to kill him, I recalled his words to be earlier that month…

“Severus, I trust you with my life. If there ever is a position in which you need to decide whether I live or die-kill me. Even if it will kill you, I beg of you, just kill me and do it quickly. I know of your Unbreakable Vow with Draco’s mother, and I understand. If I die, it will be for the best. When I die I trust that Harry will be ready-perhaps my death will even fuel his life to do what he needs to.” I, of course, had protested. Without Dumbledore, how would the Order stand a chance?

“But, sir-”

“No buts, Severus. You heard me.”

“Yes, sir.” I unwillingly replied.

And so it had come to this, I now held Dumbledore’s fate-and my own- in my hands. I could feel the tug of the Vow in my very being. Each breath was becoming difficult-if I didn’t act now, in moments I would be dead, and I could do nothing. Dumbledore saw my pain and muttered,

“Please…”

He closed his eyes as I prepared to deliver the final blow, and I cast the spell. The jet of green light hit him squarely in the chest.
“Muerte viva,” Dumbledore’s eyes closed, and I could swear I heard him murmur: “Thank you.” I pocketed my wand. Draco stood next to me, his mouth wide open. He had reappeared, although I was not positive exactly when he had left in the first place. I assumed that he had not heard me cast the spell, for if he had, it would have been obvious that Dumbledore was not dead, but merely under a spell-induced form of the “Draught of Living Death” I was so fond of.
“Professor, what was that?” I turned to him coldly, and spat.
“What do you think? I’ve done what you were ordered to do and couldn’t. I got rid of Dumbledore-in the Dark Lord’s exact words.” Draco swallowed audibly, and I could see the greenish tinge on his face, which wasn’t masked of his fear. If he planned to live past the next battle, let alone this Second War, he’d need to learn how to disguise his emotions.
I heard a noise, and saw Harry-he had seen it all. I scolded myself for not have noticing he was there sooner.
“You-you killed him!” he shouted, green eyes ablaze with anger. Apparently, Potter had thought that I had killed the old man-good, I wouldn’t have to modify his memory. I said nothing, but grabbed Draco roughly by the arm and whispered sharply,
“Let’s go.” Together, we ran to the boundary of Hogwarts.
Once there, I pulled out my wand and turned it on him. He was terrified.
“You-you’re going to kill me too?” I rolled my eyes disdainfully-this was one of the cleverer boys of the six years?
“No, you’re far too valuable for that. I am going to make it look like Potter knocked you down so that we have a cover story. The Dark Lord is clever, he will make sure he is not tricked by any means possible. Besides, that was supposed to be your Death Eater rite of passage-if I did it, it will not count. And this way if he does “Priori Incantatem” it will appear as I say it will. Now, hold still…batidas para baixo.” An invisible wave knocked Draco off of his feet and sent him flying into a tree.
“Ow! Bloody hell!” He cursed as he brushed the dirt and twigs off of himself. Tenderly the blonde felt his elbow, which had been scraped. “Look at me I’m-”
“Convincing. It looks like Potter attacked you. Now, use expeliarmus on me.”
“Why?”
“Just do it already!” I snapped. Draco complied, and after I had retrieved my wand, I snapped, “Come, let’s go.” And then I apparated us to the old Riddle house.
“Severus, Draco, I hope that you have done what I asked of you.” The Dark Lord hissed from his high-backed green chair. On his right were Draco’s parents, on the left, Bellatrix and Pettigrew. How I hated them! But, I could not show it. I nodded my head courteously to each of them, and Narcissa Malfoy broke her rank to embrace her son.
“Draco! You’re okay.” At first, he pushed away from her, but after a moment the blonde just embraced his mother gratefully as well. Bellatrix cleared her throat harshly and took a step forward.
“I assume you completed Draco’s task? Otherwise you both would not be here-alive. And even if you managed to escape without killing him, without a doubt, I would've relished in the pleasure in doing to you what you could not do that mudblood loving dottering old fool.” The Dark Lord tsk-tsked the woman next to him,
“Now Bella, let us be polite.” He turned to face me, and Narcissa released her son to stand next to him once more. “Severus, report to me exactly what happened.” I took a deep breath, and made sure that my defenses were set up well in my head-I did not need to Dark Lord bursting into my head during my “report”.
“Well, sir, Macnair came to me and informed me that Dumbledore and Potter had returned and were up at the tower, I of course, sent Draco here ahead of me, so he could perform his task.” Draco nodded weakly next to me, unable to speak. I really must talk to that boy about how to be able to fool the Dark Lord! If he ever wished to become a double-agent like myself, he’d need much, much more training. “Then, I began to worry when I did not see anything indicating the old fool’s death. I, therefore, headed up there, and saw him on his knees in front of Draco, who had his wand raised. Just as he muttered the first half of the Killing Curse, Potter appeared and hit Draco with jinxes and curses, he was ruthless. If he was not who he was I would’ve recommended that he was recruited into our ranks. I immediately cast a knock-out spell on Potter, and Draco finished the job. Potter tried to get up, but Draco then made him lose his wand-last I checked he was searching for it on the grounds-moaning like a child.”
The Dark Lord smiled wickedly and turned to the Malfoys,
“I commend your son for his bravery. He shall become a full-fledged Death Eater, with all honors. Severus, take him to our other headquarters, and train him as you see fit.”
“Yes, my Lord.” I made to snatch Draco's arm, but Pettigrew halted me.
"Wait, Master, you did not check their wands to see if the spells happened in the order they claimed for them to have happened." The Dark Lord chuckled.
"Good work Wormtail-I had almost forgotten. Severus, Draco, your wands please." Pettigrew and Bellatrix retrieved their wands, and the Voldemort grabbed my wand and murmured,
"Priori Incantatem." The symbol for the knock out jinx appeared. Satisfied, he handed me my wand back. He then did the same for Draco's wand, and smiled at us-a frightening thing.
"You are free to go." Bellatrix scowled as I seized Draco once more, and we apparated to Malfoy Manor. Once there, I tossed him into the board room and cast a colloportus spell on the door. Draco trembled before me.
“What now?”
“What now?” I answered. “Now, I shall train you in occlumency and legilimency. It shall be hard, but it is do-able, and then you’ll be ready for your first mission.”
“B-but,” he muttered. “Killing D-dumbledore was my first mission.”
“I mean your first mission as a spy!” the blonde boy shut up, and we began our lesson.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~At the Funeral~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I disguised myself as an elderly man, and no one paid me heed. I watched as Dumbledore’s “body” was laid to rest. I watched as Potter sat with his girlfriend, Ginny Weasley, and at last, it seemed as though her brother and that muggleborn Hermione Granger had acknowledged their feelings for each other. I rolled my eyes in disgust-a war was upon them, they should forget trivial dating games.
I kept my eyes on my watch, and then, right on cue, Fawkes flew into the casket. Although I couldn’t see it, I knew that he was grasping the frail shoulders of the old man, and when I saw that flash of flame, I knew that he had taken Dumbledore to Godric’s Hollow-where his home was located.
Unbeknownst to Dumbledore, I had set Fawkes up on a mission of his own-he was to retrieve Dumbledore's "body" and carry it to a safe place-until the War was over that is.
A young boy of about six stood next to me. He was extremely bored, watching the four of them looking so sad. Part of me wanted to shout at them,
"Honestly! He's not dead! How can he be dead? Did you see the thing with Fawkes? Has your stupid sorrow made you blind? You're going to have to fight a war! Get it together!" My silent curses did nothing-Ron stroked Hermione's hair, and Harry tightened his grip on Ginny's hand, she had two small streams of tears down her face. I rolled my eyes.
“Can we go now? I'm getting tired of being a small child. And watching the four of them is making me ill.”
“Yes Draco, we can go. Now let’s continue with our lesson…” I answered as we disappeared.

Orders

“Avada Kedavra!”

I did it. I killed him. And I had to get out of there.

For a moment, however, I watched as my mentor’s body fell from the Astronomy tower. I forced myself to put up double my Occlumency shields. I had to stay cold and ruthless while I was with the idiots who called themselves Death Eaters. But inside I was tearing myself up, painfully, limb from limb because I was actually weak enough to follow his orders.

Dumbledore’s orders.

“Out of here, quickly,” I spat out the words, trying to erase the awful memory of my actions. I ran down the stairs, Malfoy at my heels. I couldn’t care less about the other Death Eaters. They meant nothing to me. They were just a reminder of my mistakes I had made. Mistakes…I had made them in abundance.

“It’s over, time to go!”

Malfoy was not to be one of my mistakes. I dragged him down the corridors and past the Order. They thought that I was chasing Death Eaters. I cringed to think what would happen if they knew what I had done.

I heard a commotion behind us, just outside the Entrance Hall. Potter was fighting Alecto and Amycus. He got them both with one Impedimenta and continued running. Towards us.

I knew, then, that everything had gone according to plan. Potter had been immobilised on the Astronomy Tower as Dumbledore had died. He must have seen everything. Dumbledore’s pleas rang in my ears, and Potter’s too, no doubt. He was furious and he wanted me to suffer.

A Stunning Spell shot over my shoulder as I ran. I shouted at Draco to run, and turned back to face him, compelling myself not to recoil at the look of intense hatred on the boy’s face. If only he knew the real reasons…

“Cruc-”

He was attempting the Unforgivables! I stopped him in his tracks, forcing myself to ignore my instinctive urge to fight back. I had to get away.

I blocked yet another Cruciatus Curse and marvelled at Potter’s determination, hoping he would hear me out when the time came. Dumbledore had his reasons…reasons that I had no hope of even trying to fathom.

“No Unforgivable Curses from you, Potter!” It was imperative to keep up my façade…at least until I could talk to him neutrally. “You haven’t got the nerve or the ability - ”

He had. I knew he was powerful enough to cause me more pain than the Dark Lord ever could, with one Cruciatus. It was his love for Dumbledore that fuelled him and his hatred. He would enjoy seeing me in pain because I had killed Dumbledore.

“Incarc-”

I worked hard to deflect even this small spell, though I had to show that it was simple. It was his next words that chilled me to the bone. He didn’t know how true they were.

“Fight back! Fight back, you cowardly-”

Coward though I was, I couldn’t blow my cover yet.

“Coward, did you call me, Potter? Your father would never attack me unless it was four on one, what would you call him, I wonder?”

“Stupe-”

“Blocked again, and again until you learn to keep your mouth shut and your mind closed, Potter!” I turned away from him, and tried to get out of the grounds before I was caught, “Now come! It is time to be gone before the Ministry turns up-”

I was hitting him where it hurt most – his family and his weaknesses – and I knew it.

“Impedi-”

His recklessness would cost him his life, one day.

I heard the Cruciatus Curse over the slight confusion and panic nearly over took me. Oh, Potter. Just shut up!

I blasted back the Death Eater and made my excuse believable.

“NO! Have you forgotten our orders! Potter belongs to the Dark Lord – we are to leave him! Go! Go!”

Why? For the first time, I started to question my actions. Not my life…my life had always been one big question from start. No. I was questioning why I had ever thought that Voldemort could help me. He had torn apart my whole family and I was no stranger to his tactics. But why had I thought that because I showed loyalty to him, that he would try and help me in return. My, how foolish I had been in my youth. And because I wanted to repent those mistakes, I became a spy, risking my life for the baby I had betrayed unknowingly. Look at me now. Because of those mistakes, I had come to where I was now: soon to be on the run, a fugitive from the very person who I had risked everything for. Ironic, isn’t it?

I had risked being shunned by Dumbledore, losing my job, my life in the Order by telling Voldemort half of that damned prophecy. I thought that if I told him half, he would not act just then. When he killed the other Potters, I felt so guilty...I had to help the little blighter. He may look like his father but it took me years to realise their personalities were poles apart.

He was looking at me as though I was the one person...thing...that he wanted to desperately squash under his heel. I couldn’t blame him. I had killed his mentor, friend, and grandfather-figure even. Albus was always too close to him.

“Sectum-”

I blocked the Dark spell that I had created myself. It was just one more thing to be sorry about and to regret.

I heard part of the Levicorpus spell on my boundaries, making myself get angrier. It wasn’t hard. I just had to cast my mind back to Potter’s insufferable git of a father.

“No, Potter! You dare use my own spells against me, Potter? It was I who invented the – I, the Half-Blood Prince! And you’d turn my inventions against me, like your filthy father, would you? I don’t think so…no!”

Potter glared up at me with all the pent up rage, his eyes boring into mine, burning with a fury that would have killed any better man.

He really thought that he had nothing left. I had told him never to wear his heart on his sleeve, and even though he tried, his eyes still mirrored his emotions. His actions would make his deciphering his feelings incredibly hard; but his eyes were crystal clear. Fool.

“Kill me, then.”

That made me certain that he was distraught. He had a prophecy to fulfil and the world to save and he couldn’t remember that I couldn’t kill him anyway.

“Kill me like you killed him, you coward!”

“DON’T CALL ME COWARD!”

I blasted him out of the way so I could go and form my plan to try and get to him to understand that I was following orders. I knew about the Horcruxes and I was going to help him. The plan seemed doomed from the beginning. The boy hated me! How would he ever accept my help!

I Apparated away from Witherbeak, or whatever they were calling him these days, and arrived in the Shrieking Shack, where Draco was waiting. Alecto and Amycus had gone straight to Voldemort to inform him of what had happened. We had to go soon; he would be suspicious as to where we were so soon after the battle.

He was probably pleased. I had a few minutes.

Why had I killed him? That was easy. He asked me to. Why did I go through with the plan? I don’t know. I used to understand, but now nothing seems clear. Dumbledore mentioned something about Firenze seeing a sacrifice in the way Saturn and the stars were positioned. Dumbledore wanted to die for reasons I knew not. I had only been given the explanation that if he to live, then Harry would never succeed. This new prophecy specified, “The Wise Elder should implant his seeds of knowledge and surrender his soul to Death to ensure the fate of the Chosen One”.

Dumbledore knew what he was doing, and even I could infer that this Prophecy referred to him. He was passing his knowledge on. Harry was his apprentice in every way. I saw him updating his portrait as he was pleading. A non-verbal, wandless spell that just asked for a flick of the foot and a twist of the third finger on the right hand, while going through the recent memories.

He always thought of death as the next adventure. I drew comfort from the thought that I had given him some joy and peace.

I prepared my Occlumency shields and with a sharp look at Draco, we Apparated to the Riddle House, to Voldemort’s Chambers.

I entered indifferently, knowing that he was waiting for us, told to go right in. We bent down and kissed his robes as per usual. Retreating, I looked up into his glittering red eyes.

“Ssseverusss…,” he hissed, “Your tasssk is finisssssshed I trusssst…”

The End

A/N: Phew! It was actually a lot longer than this...2000 words ish...I spent AGES trying to get it within the 1500 word limit...