What we can learn from the movies!

First topic message reminder :

You might have seen this sort of thread on other boards - it's still pretty funny as people still manage to think of things to add to it.

Careful observation of teh movies can teach us valuable life lessons. For example:


1) Henchmen are invariably poor shots.

2) If you are held prisoner in some sort of industrial place or warehouse like place - don't worry, you will always be able to escape through the ventilations ducts.

3) No matter how tight your security, the enemy will always be able to plant one of their operatives within your organisation.

4) Any sort of lock can be picked with a paperclip or a hairclip.

5) You can steal a car by bashing away the underside of the steering column, pulling away any two wires and rubbing the ends together.

6) In a western, you can always catch up with the bad guys by heading them off at the pass. Bad guys are notoriously ignorant of local geography.

7) If a hero gets shot, the wound is invariably in the upper left arm and seems to be painless.

8 ) All animals understand spoken English.

9) Before polishing off the hero - the villain always explains his evil plan in great detail - always explaining how it can be foiled.

10) The authorities will never believe you when you warn them of an oncoming threat - people have to start dying first.


Please post what you have learned from the movies!

you cant boost 50 cars in one night (gone in 60 seconds)

birthday wishes do come true (liar liar)

you can actually make more money on broadway with a flop then with a hit. (the producers)

Be careful about what restrooms you go into-The sweetest thing

Remember Diet coke is the new Pepsi one-Josie and the pussycats

If you are invited to any place with the names Spooky, Haunted, Creepy or Forbidden in the name, you're going to be running into a mystery-scooby doo

:D

Avoid bald men who have an affinity for white cats.~James Bond

If you meet a guy over the summer and worry about never seeing him again, don't worry, your dad will get transferred to his town by the end of the summer~Grease and HSM

Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not.

At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.

Never buy possesed dolls-child's play

When trying to win a girl's heart don't spout out lines from another chick flick movie-Not another Teen movie

If you're going to duel with Musketeers, don't duel them all in one day - Three Muskateers

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

When you are a house in a group of people and people are slowly dying and you know one of you did it, GET OUT OF THAT HOUSE, dont stay in there just because there is like a foot of snow outside...

that monsters do really exist- Scooby Doo

becareful what you wish for- many different movies

never ever decide to be two faced cause you might just lose your real friends.-mean girls

All numbers in America start with 555.

When a guy and a girl work together on something, no matter what, they will fall for each other.

some things are to be expected.

ppl are predicable.

Women can kick butt.

being in a beauty contest can be danguerous.

the last person you would suspect is the culpurt.

Once upon the time, doen't always end with And they all live happily ever after.

your dad will always love you, even if he hasn't known u were a live for 17 years.

your boyfirend will fly across the world just to find you.

A scooby snack will get ppl to do things for u.

Harry and Ginny are eternity in love (XD LOL)

Most dogs are immortal.

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

There will always be stairs that the girl will run up
Most mary sues in movies are dumb
The guys are always hunky dory
There is always a happy ending
There will always be a startler in scary movies
Yun

when you are going through the delema of what is right vs. what is easiest for you, and angel will appear on one shoulder and a devil on the other.

when ever there is a war between a girl and a boy, they fall in love.

good girls always fall for the bad boys

never make a teacher mad on perpous

Since when did guys ever do the right thing the first time?

o-haon-na means family, nomatter how much you hate them.

try not to get bitten by an over 300 year old dog, u may turn into one.

be very afraid if you can hear something that your friends can't.

and last, but not lest XD

Watch out if you fall in love with a princess, she might be your twin sister! XD lol

feath

If you try hard enough, you can outrun an explosion.

Natural disasters only occur after the local mayor scoffs at the possibility.

If an expert makes a prediction and is disbelieved, then it will come to pass exactly as he predicted. If he makes a prediction and is believed, it won't happen.

Women staying in a haunted house should investigate any strange noises while wearing their most revealing underwear.

Women's skin and hair can't be damaged by natural disasters, though their clothing can be shredded -- except for the bits required for minimal decency, which are made from completely indestructible fabric.

If yuor going to show someone something that gets you out of trouble your always going to bump into someone and then there going to get your evidence and your gonna get there homework lol

If a man and a woman are exposed to the same conditions and the same environment, the man will need to wear more clothing than the woman.

If a man and a woman meet under circumstances under which any two normal people would instantly hate each other, they will marry before the picture is over.

Deadly reptiles will always attack a woman first, even if she's in the presence of thirty men.

Women are immortal unless they take off their shirts or they're ugly.

If a woman takes a bath, bubbles will cover the naughty bits. If she takes a shower and reveals her naughty bits, she will die.

If a blonde and a brunette are in equal peril, the brunette will die.

The Girl will always get the guy in the end!

White characters have the best survival rate.

High class strippers with a heart of gold can will, if the plot demands it, turn out to have specialized technical skills and abilities.

Most human action is initiated by shy loners.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

It's easy to pull the pin on a grenade with your teeth.

An explosive device capable of leveling a large office building will fit inside a toolbox or small backpack.

The Teacher will always pronounce your name wrong the first day!

when going to Harvard don't wear pink

Remember to SING

Never make a bet that you can turn a girl into a prom queen...cause usually you can't

Beware of Watching Snow white in a theater -it could be filled with gremlins

Potentially fatal attacks are always preceded by a false alarm a few seconds earlier.

Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds -- unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

A million dollars in cash or cocaine will invariably take up exactly the amount of space available in your briefcase.

The only people who ride city busses are "victims."

The universal medical procedure is defibrilation. Any time an EMT appears in a scene he/she will defibrilate someone before going back home. ER doctors defibrilate all patients, regardless of complaint.

Most of the people in jail are Black

usually the underdog will always win.

the Black sidekick always dies

When a cop comes on scene he's always going to breaking up a fight.

Even if you didn't start the fight you still go to jail and get blamed for it.

The Bad Guy never cheeks the place your hiding.

History can repeat itself.

The good guy is always White

When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

Most guys on the soccer team are girls in disguise

Everyone is a professional dancer

If someone thinks they can't sing, they can't up until the moment when they need to sing onstage pretending to be a famous super star.

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK Stadium.

Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

It is not necessary to say hello or good-bye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

boys will believe that a another boy uses 'girl stuff' cuz they have heavy nosebleeds!

lol

You can always find a chain saw when you need one.

Any lock can be picked with a credit card or a paper clip in seconds--unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

An electric fence powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.

Paintings have eyes that watch you

all rich people have an underground bat cave

all super heroes with capes are doomed to die!

Everyone has a different outfit to wear everyday even if they are extremely poor

When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated

If something is wrong it is usually about you.

Cars will blow-up once you are out of them

One shot can blow up a car.

If you are shot in the back twice you will live but have amneisa

there is an escape from every building

One hit with an axe will cut through handcuffs.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

In Every scary movie lets all go and look for where the noise is coming from..instead of running and hiding..

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often than not die on their last day (especially if their family have planned a party). (Caveat: Detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty).

Getaway cars never start first go. But all cop cars do. (They will also slide to a dramatic stop in the midst of a crime scene).

Always run away when you hear scary music playing. It always means someone is after you!

Never attemp to kill Jason from Friday the 13th. It cannot be done!

When you shoot someone and stand over the body to make sure they are really dead they will grab you!

On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard . . .

Cars never need fuel (unless they're involved in a pursuit).

when trapped in a room, the door will always be locked so jump out the window

people who do the above recieve no major gashes just tiny cuts

wounds and injuries tend to move around in bloody/gory movies and never look the scene

it takes a young boy to make you realize you're dead

If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback.

Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. you will always find another one.

All single women have a cat.

so your a girl is naver a good pick up line xD

All Englishmen are evil, but clever – but never actually clever enough to kill their nemesis though. Rather, they devise elaborate devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly gases, lasers, man-eating sharks etc

Never pick up a hitch hiker they will try to kill you.

Okay what you can learn from the movies...

The good guy always gets the girl,

the good guy always lives but the side kick with usually die.

the good guy always wins.

A jump from any hight will not kill you if your the good guy but if you're the bad guy it will.

You will survive a fall from any hight if you land in the water. (impossible!)

and last but not least...

There will always be a spy, that will spy on the good guy and turn him in.

If being chased through a city you can usually find cover in a passing carnival or parade

One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than they have of killing him. Baddies and Henchmen have no gun training and fire in wild panic when confronted by the hero

If you are on a date and the boy thinks its funny to try to scare you, then he is going to die, and you probably will too.

If a boy does something increadiably stupid and you break up with him, you will later realize that he just messed up in some cute way and it was all just a misunderstanding, but you will have to so something dumb and highly public to get him back.

if you are wearing a red ring the buddhists will try to paint you red and sacrifice you.

That creatures can swallow you whole, but you can still find you're way out and still be alive...

When one of the people you are with falls through the trap door, you wont jump in after him, you will instead jump out the window.

Never go upstairs when you are scared...

If you lose a leg it can always be replaced by a machine gun/rocket launcher.

Reality shows tell me what my life would be like if it were run by writers not smart enough to make movies.