Ask Snape

First topic message reminder :

Okay i was doing my usual, reading through the many posts over at imdb when i came across this game,called ask Snape. Simple really, all you need to do is answer the question which the previous poster has asked as if u were snape and then ask your question.

So to start:

Dear darlingly lobely Snapeypoo

Would you mind deducting 400 points from GRyffindor? If not, can i have the addy for your new hide out, you seemed to have moved without telling me

Lobe
The Mad One of Huffle Mafia.

Bellykins,
For you, no problem. Wait, honey, I'm sorry. I've got a date with Cissy. Is Saturday okay with you?

-Snape the Great

==========================================
The Evil Professor,
I hate you. Enclosed is a picture of my mum and dad snogging. It's also an un-rippable paper so you can't cut his head out and put yours on instead. Haha!
-Harry Potter

Harry.

Watch this, *burns the picture* you never made it fire proof, silly boy.

Snape.


Snapeypoo,

Can i visit you in your dungeon tonight after lights out?

Love always
Minny

Dear Minny!

Of coarse! You know you don't have to ask!

Love,
Sevvy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Mr. Snape,

Woud like you to buy Girl Scout cookies?

Love,
Emily Collins

Dear Barbara Manatee,

NO!

Yours Truly,
Snape

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Snape,

Girl Scout cookies don't have any sprinkles!

Love,
Emily Collins

Emily Collins,

THEY WILL IF YOU WANT ME TO BUY THEM!

Love
Snape

Sevvy

Staff meeting, then a one on one review tonight at 11pm, please attend

Big Al.

xxxxxx

Dear Big Al,

I refuse to attend. Don't call me sevvy

Love,
Sevvy

Dearest Sev

I hope you attend the Hufflepuff Spirit Week games since I know you love us Huffies.

- A little Huffie

P.S. if you don't come I'll strip you to your heart shaped underwear for you to be humiliated forever Bwhahahaha!

Huffie,
Don't make me hurt you!
Snape

___________________________________________________________
Snape,
Who are you ACTUALLY in love with?
~Your Number 1 Love!

Dear a delusional admirerer

Anyone but you

Love,
Sexy Sev

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Mr. Severus Snape,

As the head of the Association of Hair Upkeep I regret to inform you that you recentyl failed a cleanliness test. You will need turn yourself in for a nice long shampoo.

Sincerly,
Dr. Sarah Nicole Rachel Renee Chelsea Williamson III

Dr. Sarah Nicle Rachel Renne Chelsea Williamson III

You have finaled the Name Upkeep Test, so now we're even

-With all due regards
Severus Snape

P.S. see I have a nice name

----

Dearest Sev,

I can't believe you're cheating on me with Cissy of all people, she's not even close to being as hot as me!

-Voldemort

Dear Voldemort,

I stopped caring what you think when you cheated on me with Lucius. Go jump off a cliff.
Thank you,

Severus




To: Severus Snape

Will you allow me to be your apprentice? If no, why not?

From: A Temporarily Anonymous Student

A Temporaily Anonymous Student.

No, since i do not talk to strangers, my mommy taught me that!

-Snape

----

Severus Tobias Snape

You are grounded for treating your BF, Mr Voldy bad by cheating on him. I'm ashamed of you young man

-Mum

Mum,

But he started it!!

Sevvy




Severus,

Haha! Voldemort likes me best!

Lucius

Lucius,
In your dreams! He took your wand not mine *sticks toungue out*
Snape


Snape,
My house. Saturday night. 8:00
Peter Pettigrew

Dear Wormtail,

What are you talking about! I told you to be at my house at 3 a.m with a jar of pickles.

A very agitated Snape

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Greaseball

I hate you!

Love,

a pre-book 7 Harry Potter

Mr. Potter,

I don't know why you persume that I would care. 10 points from Gryffindor for your cheek!

Snape

______________________________

Dearest Severus,

Our child grows up without the guidance from his true his father, won't you please acknowledge him as yours?

Petunia

Dear Petunia,

You know I dispise the boy and his SQUIBNESS! I do not care to see him. However, I can see about siblings....

Snape

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Snape,

Who are you and why do you keep threatening me?

A random student.

Dear R.S,

10 points from Gryffindor! I can smell the house on you.

Snape



__________________________________________________

To Mr. Severus Snape,

Your daydream potion is almost ready, we just need to know what color Speedo you would like for the beach portion of your daydream.

Dare To Dream Inc.

Dare to Dream Inc.,
Hot pink would be lovely!
Snape

_________________________________________________________

Mr. Severus,
Your Dare to Dream potion has been shipped and should arrive on Friday!
~Dare to Dream Inc.

Dear Dare to Dream Inc.

I have not received my package!

A very angry,
Snape

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Angry Snape,

It isn't Friday Yet

- D to D INC

Dear D to D Inc.

I'm aware of that!!

Frustrated,
Snape

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Snape,

I'd like to take you to the Yule Ball and have you sing for me!!

Love,
Hopeful Wisher

Hopeful Wisher,
How much are you willing to pay?
Snape

______________________________________________________

Snape,
How much do you want?
HW

HW -

a billion galleons!

- SNape

__________________________

Snape -

I don't have that much!

- HW

HW,
then too bad. so sad. cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it.
(Fine..... a million galleons.)
-Snape.

Snape,
well.... lemme see. I dont think I have that much either...
-HW

Hopeful Wisher.

I already found a date. Sorry (not)

- Snape

___________________________________

Dear Snape

I was dumped by a fictional chreactor!

- Distressed in Dallas

Distressed in Dallas,

Well, I'm certainly not fiction. And I'm avaliable next Satuday *cough*

-Sevvie

----

Dearest Sev

I heard you were throwing a birthday party for your pet hippo Billybob Moneybags the Third. Can I join the party even though Lucius ate my invitation?

-Bella Lestrange

Dear Bella,

You can come any time.

- Sevvie
_______________________________

Dear Severus,

Your Fired!

- DOnald Trump

(in a howler)

Dear Mr. Trump,

Sectumsempra!

-Severus Snape

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Severus Snape,

I having this problem at school... My potions teacher keeps failing me for some reason! I just dont get it. Can you tell me why?

-Concerned and Afraid

Dear C and A,

You are a horrible potion-maker, that's why!!

Professor Snape

_____________________________

Hello Severus,

Will you take me to the Zoo? I've never been there, and dad won't take me... Please??

Your Goddaughter,
Emmalynn

Dear Emmalynn,

But we went there last week!

-Severus Snape

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Severus Snape,

Where do you go shopping? And do you want some shampoo?

-Ella Zeller

Dear Miss Zeller,

I shop online. And no, I don't want your shampoo.

Severus Snape

__________________________________

Dear Severus,

No we didn't! That was the aquarium! Please?!

Emmalynn

Dear Emmalynn,
NO I SAID NO GET OVER IT!
Serverous.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Dear Snape,

Would you like to come meet me in the north tower at midnight?

Love, you mom

Dear Mr. Figglewig,

I assure you I would never throw my wand anywhere, nevertheless, your offer is temping, so yes, I think I shall try running for Minister.

Severus Snape

___________________________________-


Severus,

I will never get over it!! Why won't you take me?!

A very distressed Emmalynn

Emmalynn,

We mustn't be going everywhere all the time...
Why don't you make a new potion?

-Severus Snape


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Snape,

We have recieved your information via *cough**cough* veritaserum*cough**cough*... resources that you would be interested in puchasing our new-and-improved hair styling shampoo, that will leave your hair sparkling clean!! When would you like your free sample?

Sincerely,

Charles Kirtle

Dear Mr. Kirtle,

I don't know what you're talking about!! Never contact me again!!

-Severus Snape
(P.S. I need it before the third...)

______________________________________

Dear Severus,

But why? I like the pengiuns....
Give me a potion that will take more than an hour, though, and I'll leave you alone for a while...

Love from Emmalynn

Emmalynn,

In that case, want to go to the zoo with me? I heard they have a new penguin called Bob.
Oh and by the way. No potion whatsoever. I will not give anything to anyone for free. Eveything of mine cost money.

-Snape
---

Severus,

Can you buy me a cough drop, I'm afraid I've caught a cold

-Voldemort The Dark Lord Sick in Bed

Dear My Sick OVerlord.

Enclosed is you coughdrop. (filled with poison.)

Get Better Soon,
- Snape

____________________________________________

Dear Snape,

Will you watch my cat while I'm away visting my mummy

- Filch

Dear Filch

Oh, course I'll watch Mrs. Norris, but she may not be in the same condition that she she was before you left her in my care.

Snape

________________________________________________

Dear Snape

Do you make your own shampoo with all the ingredients that you use in the rest of your potions? If so can you tell me what you use and how to make it.

From a person with squeaky hinges

A person with squeaky hinges

No I do not make my own shampoo, I buy it from the flea market down the road.

-Snape

----

Mr. Severus Snape

It seems like Mr. Voldemort has fallen ill and is in our care at the hospital.
Since he is your all powerful mafia Boss, we invite you to his 'Hope you get well soon' Party next Saturday right after his surgery - it seemed like he is a bit ...odd in appearance.

Nevertheless, see you there!

From Mr. Hospital All Powerful Mafia Boss of All

Dear Mr. Hospital All Powerful Mafia Boss of All

Of course I'll come to the Dark Lord's get well party. I do wonder what type of surgery he had, I thought he was allergic to most medication.

P.S. I'll bring his special 'no nose required' glasses so he can read the get well cards.

From Severus Snape.

___________________________________________________

Dear Severus Snape

Does Voldemort ever get jealous of your large nose since he has none and can't use tissues?

An Curious bystander

Dear curious bystander,

yes he does but he tries not to say anything to show no sign of weakness.

~snape

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Dear severas snape,

if you could would u choose killing james potter, or make out with lilly?

signed,
brawley basketball player

A Brawley Basketball Player

Of course I'll choose to make out with Lily since it'll kill Potter to see it so I'll have my two life long wishes granted in one go

-Snape

Dear Severus Snape,

Since you had clicked on a pop up online with the flashing sign 'You have won a flat screen tv' the company is sending you one! Please inform us your address and phone number in the space below and mail this back for our benefit.

-Popups and More. Co

Dear Popups and More co.

You may wish to know that if ANYONE comes round to my home, I will send you their head in a box.

Snape.
PS: Please send the owl back.

Dear Professor Snape.

I wish to inform you that the Slytherins are last at the moment for the House Cup and I wish to ask if you can put us in the lead so that we can put Gryffindor in their rightful place.

Thank you
A concerned Slytherin.
PS What was the homework?

Dear Concerned Slytherin,

Yes, I have noticed that as well. My notice has not escaped the notice of a certain headmaster named Albus Dumbledore, who has made it clear that I am not to "unfairly give Slytherin the advantage." If, however, you would like to send me a small....incentive for more points (I enjoy chocolate cake), I would have no choice but to award you the points you deserve.

Snape.

PS: If none of your housemates would tell you the homework, I won't tell you either.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Professor Snape,

How did you get to be so friggin' AWESOME?

Write Back With Tips,
A Fan.

Slytherin Allstar,

Go boil your right pinky in a tub of hot fat then kick a furry blue cat, then i might tell you.

Snape.


Dearest Sevvywevvy

Can we attempt to reinact our first date?

Love always
Cissy

Dear Cissy,
No.I dont even remeber you.
Snape


Dear Snape,
can you help me with my potion
ur bosses daughter bwhahahaha

bosses daughter,

no because my boss doesnt have kids.

Snape.

Dear Severus,
Why do you hate my grandson so much you greasy ball of slime?

Mrs A Longbottom