Kiss My Eyes and Lay Me to Sleep..

May 6th, 2009

Well, I’m waiting for my old diary to close, I’m going to go ahead and start my new one. The old one was…just to crowded and I was beginning to slack on it. I had spammed it way to much. So this is my new one. Why I want a new one? Because, I just did. Anyway, with a new start, I’m going to go on and start my ranting. School is almost over for me, just about three weeks and I’m out until August. I happen to be a good cook who my teacher now likes but I get very confused. I have to know what something looks like before I can grab it, but whatever. I have made up with friends I had lost, gain new ones, and have lost one.

My dad has stated, he doesn’t have faith in the Lord anymore. I wasn’t too shocked. With what God had him going threw, he took what I said and made it sound like it was a bad thing. But whatever, I still love him no matter his faith. Even if he is a jerk sometimes. My cousin has turned from a bad girl to a Christian Snob. Thinks she is better then everyone, but in reality, she isn’t. My favorite author’s new book is coming out this summer! STRANGE FATES!!! If you love Twilight, you should read these. I swear to you, they are so much better. These are a decade older then Twilight though. They are called Nightworld Volumes 1, 2, 3 plus Vampire Diaries Series and then you have Secret Circle, about witches. The Vampire Diaries will become a tv show with some of my favorite stars in it. The chick from Degrassi, Mai, will be playing Elana..sooooo far from a Blonde though.

Kimmers is my twin, yes…we have made it known. I am the evil one she is the good one. I don’t know why though, she is eviler then me XD.

-Violet

July 22, 2009

Not much has really happened lately. Not really been sleeping quiet good for some reason. When I lay down…I can be very tired but then I’m wide awake…just laying there. So yeah…don’t know why. I have also learned I have a very weak bladder thanks to my mom switching from soda to water. I cant drink soda anymore either…sucks. No fast food and no soda…I feel like a rabbit. Blah….kind of tired of a lot of people. Some annoy me and others don’t. I HAVE A NEW FRIEND!!! Even if she doesn’t know it J

CLAFIN!!!!! Yes, she is my new friend rather she wants to be or not…I’ll annoy her until she agrees to it XD. Naw…I’ll be nice :D

-Vi

July 23, 2009

Well…it’s starting again. My dad comes home all the time, mad at everyone and everything. My mom didn’t have dinner ready and it was almost done but noo…it has to be done BEFORE he gets home. Like he cant wait five minutes…it wont kill him. Apperently…him eating is more important that his daughter’s education. I offered my mom to just wait until my dad got home before going to get my schedule but she wouldn’t wait like I said. So now he is annoyed, I’m sure my mom is blaming me…why? Because when he asked why it wasn’t finished…she said Lesley wanted him schedule and she wouldn’t wait. And she is still blaming me.

My dad turned to me and started yelling that if I wanted something so f-ing bad…I’ll walk there and get it on my own time. Is it my fault they refuse to let me get my permit and license? Nope…they don’t want me to get it because they know I want to get a job, meaning I would have to drive to school and they said I couldn’t drive to school. I’m really getting tired of my dad….before…it was beer doing it…but now…I don’t know even more. I just really want to get away from him and everyone here. But whatever….he will remember that when he is old and needs help and I’m the one who will help him. My sister isn’t going to do it…she would make him pay.

So yeah…school…starts back in a few weeks…three I think. I have one class with my cousin…I fear going back. I have the devil first period and that really really sucks.

-Vi

August 5th, 2009

Well…not really much as happened since I last updated, although, I have gotten really depressed lately. No idea why, but its nothing new. So my cousin, Lacie, told me she was sorry. Why? Well remember how I always would write about how she blew me off for her friend? Well that so called friend threw her away, saying they couldn’t be friends because of the church she went to. It didn’t have CHRIST in the name, so she was going to hell. Lacie told me she never knew what it felt like to be blew off or thrown away until it happened her and she felt like a lousy person for doing it to me. And then she asked how did I put up with her for two years and her mother answered for me. Family stays forever, friends don’t. And I had to be happy for her mother, saying exactly what was on my mind.

Later that day, my aunt was on her way to town and she slipped and twisted her ankle. It was really funny what happened next. My uncle told my cousin to get a rag and wet it and I went to get some ice and she gave me the rag and got the ice and when I told it out there and she put it to her face, she said EW THIS IS DISGUSTING!!! WHY DID SHE GET ME THE DIRTY RAG!!?!? I couldn’t help but laugh. But before that, they told me the dead was walking…I’m so pale that its unhealthy. But I don’t care…I look better pale anyways.

School starts next week…its fair. I hate the fact I’m going back to school and I’m the only white person in most of my classes. I’m not racist…no…it’s the fact that most of the black people in my school hate me. Why? Because when my cousin got into the fight on the bleachers, they threw themselves on me and I accidently kicked one of the black girls in the nose…and they all think I STARTED it….when I didn’t. I had nothing to do with it. I was reading when it happened. So yeah….I’m going to have a lot of problems next year. Doesn’t matter. They start something with me…I’ll just stay home. Simple…and then my mom can go to the office and tell them, once again, to deal with it. Doubt it will work. If anything, she will take me out of the school and place me somewhere else.

Now with that said….I’m tired of Twilight. Everywhere I go, there is stupid Robert Pattison. Half the girls reading it wouldn’t if it wasn’t for him. I mean, come on, he isn’t even that cute to me. I’m so tired of it. It was cute at first, having people flock around him, but now its like…come on…give it up..he doesn’t want any of you girls. What happen to HP? I mean….they are way better books then Twilight. I can reread HP, Twilight…no…it bored me…I like it….but no…its not that good. So yeah…why do people think its sooooo good? And I have figured out HALF the stuff from her books have been taken from another book. My favorite author, LJ. Smith as a lot of stuff that is just like twilight. The whole mind reading, cant read one mind, someone trying to steal the girl. ITALY!!! Blue…its…boring. Besides, these books were written years before Twilight.

-Vi

August 9, 2009

Today is the last day of summer for me. Tomorrow I will walk into the school in my first year closer towards graduation. Being in tenth grade doesn’t feel right to me though. Maybe it’s because summer as went by to fast or I haven’t really done anything to prove myself this year will be different. I promised to myself to not let others run me over anymore, I’m no one’s door mat nor will I do someone’s homework this year. If someone brings a gun to school and shoot me for that, then they deserve the zero they get for being useless, pathetic, and lazy. We have new students this year. They closed down a school so all of them are coming to our school, sad thing is….all the white people are leaving the school. With this happening…me, my cousin, and a few other’s who aren’t racist will be the only ones left, forcing all of us to movie anyways.

The white people in the schools are just not wanted there. And they will do anything they can to get us out and into another school just so they can have it to their selves. It’s sad really. I mean, I was looking forward to the new people, but now? I really don’t have much looking forward for. Plus, I don’t think I’ll last long in the school anyways. I know one of the people from last year are going to try something and mess with me. But this year, the first time I’m touched in the way I don’t want to be, I’m going to the office. And if they do not do anything, I’ll tell my mom and she can go to the school board and make them do something. I just…really hate my school.

We have to buy our lockers, I know two dollars isn’t a lot, but the fact we have to buy a new one every year is kind of stupid. We also have to buy parking spaces every year to drive to school, it’s about 12 dollars to join clubs that would look good on a college application thingy. And with the way things are, I wont be in FCCLA this year or anything. Its about 25 dollars to sew/cook, use tools in construction, TO LEARN SPANISH, also, 80 dollars to be in band, even though you BUY the stuff you need before hand. And it’s about 1000 dollars for graduation. And that’s for the cap, gowns, diploma, pictures, books for the 12th grade….and a few other stuff. It’s really sad that we have to pay that much and my dad already told me that if that’s the case, I better just look forward to dropping out. It’s not fair that we have to pay all this stuff to get out of school.

I really have no idea when it got so bad to go to school. And teachers are suppose to support you, not talk about you. I really want to be a nurse or a singer. Singing is something I love but I’m scared to do so. I did it once for the HE but I was sick. It seems every time I try to make one for challenges, I get really sick and cant sing, but I done it once and the quality was horrible. But being a nurse, it’s wonderful. Just think about it, you get to help save someone’s life. Doctors aren’t the only ones doing so. Nurses have a lot of things they do to help also. And a teacher got mad at the class and started yelling at us. Why she was mad, because of another class that didn’t do something. Anyway, she told all of us that we were lazy, useless, not worth the time because we arent smart like advanced students and while we are at Burger King or something else, trying your best to become manger, the advanced students will be in college, making a living. If any of you think you are going to be big and hotshot, you arent. I cried when I got home.

I hate being yelled at, I hate being told I cant do something. I’m a person with feelings, not a useless thing that was put on this planet for nothing. I have went threw so much to get to where I am today. I came from raising my sister on my own, to getting parents who care, from cutting, depression, to peer preassure, drugs, drinking, suicidal to finally normal. To what I want to be. Someone other then the ghost in my past that have done nothing my made me stronger, to who I am today. And being told I cant do anything makes me weak. If I keep listening to those thoughts in my head and letting them get to me, I will have done nothing more then prove them right. And they are wrong. I can do anything I want to do and everything I need to do. So what if I learn at a different pace. That doesn’t mean I’m not smart. Everyone is smart in their own way. I happen to be smart with history, music, and books. My sister is smart with movies, English, and just most things normal people arent smart at.

Now that I have went into a I HAVE THE POWER IN ME speech, I really don’t know what to talk about next. Well…Kimmers, my twin, I’ll miss you when school finally starts. I will barely have time for the computer. And Stephy, my mommy, have fun at college! And everyone else that is my friend…Liar, Clafin, er…whoever else reads this but doesn’t write anything…have fun doing whatever you do!

-Vi!