HEBB: Challenge 10 : JOB SWAP

To ALL housemates
Your 10th challenge is now here!

To pass the task:

* You are only allowed FIVE fails, which means any more than 5 housemates not completing the task, you will fail.

Help gain a pass

If you notice members not posting near the end date then it is up to you as housemates to get them to in order to help you all pass and housepoints to be added. PM them, post in the HEBB chat thread or anything else you can think of!

Time for 10th task

This first task will be open until Monday 4th December


Housepoints

If the task has been successfully passed, 500 housepoints will be added to the base housepoints

If the task is a fail (6 or more members do not post their challenge) then 200 housepoints will be lost from the base housepoints

Each housemate that participates will also be awarded 50 housepoints each

THE CHALLENGE

There are 32 job titles below, one for each of the remaining housemates.

You must pick 1 job and post your entry as if you are teaching the rest of the housemates how to do the job

ONLY 1 PERSON PER JOB

Make sure the job hasnt been picked otherwise his will cause a fail!

Type the title of the job at the top of your post in large letters

The Jobs:

1. Hairdressing
2. Acting
3. Beauty Therapist
4. Bin man/woman
5. Car Mechanic
6. Shop Assistant
7. Teacher
8. Sports Coach
9. Christmas Santa
10. Baker
11. Candle stick maker
12. Christmas Elf
13. Life Guard
14. Vet
15. Chef
16. Nurse
17. Air hostess/Host
18. Policeman/woman
19. Weatherman/woman
20. Nanny
21. Head of Hogwarts
22. Big Brother
23. Clown
24. Balloon Artist
25. Waitor/Waitress
26. Musician
27. Magazine editor
28. Author
29. Profesional Sock smeller
30. Professional Reindeer
31. Hippo Groomer
32. Postman/woman

Good luck!

The job of a Christmas Santa can be very rewarding but very stressful, and one little mistake could mean the endless tears of a young child.

So how do you complete the job of a christmas santa?

Just follow these few small and simple rules

1. First you will need to grow a long white beard and shampoo and conditioner it until it is fluffy. If you are a woman, it might be benificial to use a fake beard, but remember - furnature glue is not wise!

2. Your costume needs to be in pristine condition. The big red suit and black boots and gloves can not differ from the pictures the children know and love

3. Try to put on as much weight as you can before your first appearence. Mince pies are good for this, though if you cant manage it, pillows will surfice, though secure them properly around your waist as it may scare the children if you suddenly lose weight.

4. Practise the simple words 'ho ho ho!" Believe me, the children can tell the difference

5. Listen as the children sit on your lap and ask for presents, even if you get a really obnoxious child. If you really get annoyed, ask your elf to take over whilst you nip off to santas grotto!

6. Never promise a child anything. Use the words 'Santa will see what he can do" If you start promising things like you will get the child a thousand pound toy car then you will have a very angry parent.

7. Remember to feed the reinderr

8. Do not try to make your sleigh fly otherwise you may just end up in hospital

If you keep to these few simple rules, you might just pass as a great christmas santa!

To be a teacher, you have to have a great amount of paitence. You also have to go through a great amount of schooling yourself. So here are some great tips on what to do.

1) Don't yell at the kids or in any way degrade them

2) Treat everyone fairly, even if it means explaining things more then once.

3) There is a dress code you know, no wild shirts, jeans only once a week if that, and no wildly dyed hair.

4) You also have to not be afraid to punish them if you absolutly must.

5) Be prepared for kids to talk during your lesson and not pay attention.

6) Also always be sure to keep on top of the grading, kids like to have their tests back ASAP.

7) Show school pride, its an important thing to show.

8) On Halloween dress up, it makes it more fun for everyone including you.

9) Make sure you prepare your students for standardized tests as well as normal ones.

10) Make it fun! Kids love it when its not boring you'll find they learn better that when then any other because things stick in their brain.

So thats all you need to know about being a teacher

Professional Reindeer

*munch on carrots and turn to audience, spitting out carrot* oh, you were there

Okay so fellows, I'm gonna teach you all how to be a nice reindeer. First of... stand straight! Don't look so mellow, come on people, did you ever try flying in the sky while looking like a slob? Especially while pulling someone like Santa...

Okay, so the second thing is... do not mess with Santa. He might look jolly but when he gets angry, boy do he sees red. Haha! Red, Christmas! Okay not funny. Who expect a reindeer to be funny anyway? We aren't all *Rudolph*. Pfft... littlestupidsantasfavoriteihatethatguy... *clear throat*

Third is, always accept what Mother Christmas gives to you. Yeah, it can smell, and sometimes it's not all that good, but if you don't take it then she complains to Santa and you DO NOT want to eat the food he gives you then.

Fourth, you must be very healthy and strong both physically and emotionnaly. Flying for a whole night, that is exhausting I can tell you! And it's not easy either to spend the rest of the year doing nothing, waiting for your only moment of glory in the year to hear that a stupid red nosed reindeer has taken your spot!

*goes away crying and comes back later*

Please pardon my moment of sadness and jealousy, now I'm all happy again. I really don't know what they put in those candy canes but its makes you all fuzzy inside... wait... that wasn't candy cane... then what was it? Oh never mind.

And so everybody, I will give you my last advice. Don't do like I did! Go to the zoo, find yourself a job in a nice little town! Being a professional reindeer sucks, save yourself, save you liiiiife *gets dragged away by Santa's elfs*

Balloon Artist


How to become a balloon artist

1. Practise your breathing excercises - this will come in handy when blowing up those long balloons.

2. Always carry a small motorised pump in case you run out of breath

3. Take some already made balloon animals in case you forget how to do them. This way you wont have too unhappy customers

4. Blow, blow blow until the balloon is fully blown up otherwise you may pop them before you've even begun

5. Always have a smile on your face - this might help if you get stuck

6. Practise the balloon animals at home first

Christmas Elf

So you think you have what it takes to join the ranks of Santa's mighty toymakers? Well, here's what you need to know.

1. The Big Guy isn't always right...any inquiries about his judgement you need to take to Mother Christmas. (Don't question Mother Christmas...you just might find something questionable in your egg nog if you do!)
2. Beware the reindeer. We are small folk and easily mistaken for something edible by those thick beasts.(its the green suits I tell you!) Oh, and don't ask them for a lift ANYWHERE...just trust me on that one.
3. Work hard and work fast. All those toys aren't going to make themselves and the things these kids ask for now a days...yeesh.
4. Know the perfect recipe for hot coco. The Boss Man likes his coco and you have to make it just right...not to chocolaty, not too frothy, not too hot, and not too cold. (He likes it if you add just a bit of mint!)
5. Don't tease Rudolph about his nose. This goes back to rule 2. We are small and easily stepped on and Rudolph packs quite a punch.
6. Hiding in Santa's bag and springing out midflight is only funny the first time.
7. Impersonating Santa doesn't work...don't even try it.
8. Hitting on Mrs. Clause is NOT ok.
9. Being put on candy cane duty is not a punishment...it is a privledge and should be treated as so. (Beware candy cane duty!)
10. Making mutant toys is not funny.
11. Training a penguin to do your job is not a feat of magical ingenius.
12. When you have to go to the mall and deal with whiny kids with the Boss Man just smile and wave and give the annoying screaming childern their candy as they leave. Do not object if Santa asks you to fill in for him so he can go get a mocha latte from Starbucks...just do it.
13. While covering said duty at the mall do not switch cloths with a child to get out of work.
14. Be cheery. No one likes a frowny face.

We are the few, the proud, the vertically challenged!

Nanny

To those who have never been a nanny, the job may seem to be a simple one. But in actuality, to be a nanny takes skill, determination and a love of children, though lots of the time they make you want to scream. Here are a few suggestions for surviving the job:

1. Come prepared-

Bring a large bag of items necessary for keeping your sanity and the children entertained. Movies are always a plus (kids just stare at the T.V. for an hour and a half and you're free to knit in peace), but make sure they aren't too long (most children have very short attention spans). If you're going to be there after the kids are in bed, bring a novel or a few magazines to read until the parents get home. A movie for you wouldn't be a good idea, have to keep an ear out for the young ones and the noise may keep them awake unless their rooms are far away from the telivison.

2. Have a plan-

On your way over to the home, go over in your head what you will do with the children. Having a bit of a plan to fall back on will help, especially if they get bored. Don't expect it to be followed exactly, they get distracted very easily so things may jump from one to the other quite quickly.

3. Brace yourself for a challenge-

Taking care of kids for hours is not easy. They can be demanding, rude, annoying...the list goes on and on. Do your best to keep them in good moods, and remember that compromising, though the idea is good, doesn't work every time between siblings (but they'll forget...don't worry). Just remember that deep down, you do love them, even when they're getting on your last nerve. Keeping a cheery outlook on the day will help them behave nicer too.

4. Discipline-

When a child hasn't been punished much before by his or her parents, it is even harder than normal to keep them in line. Stand your ground! You're in charge, remember that. Do what the parents do for punishment and if necessary repeat and/or introduce your own methods.

5. Have fun!

Most likely, the kids don't want their parents gone, and you may not want to be there either. But that doesn't mean that the time you're with them has to be horrible! Keep children engaged in fun activities and enjoy the time you have with them. This will make the time go much faster and also the parents will be much more willing to ask you to come back if the kids tell them that they liked having you watch them.

Profesional Sock smeller

1) Waking-Up in the morning-
As a proffesional sock smeller, your job comes first ALL the time throughout your life. Even when you wake up in the morning. For optimal results in this field of work it is suggested that you sleep on your back proped up on three or more very thick pillows,the more the better for clear your nasal passages. It is also suggested that you use nightly Remember, one tiny little head cold is ALL it takes for you to be fired, AVOID SICK PEOPLE AT ALL COST!! THEY ARE DISGUSTING AND THEY GIVE NO THOUGHT TO THE DAMAGE THEY COULD INFLICT ON YOUR CAREER...selfish little...*trails of mumbling* When you wake up it is important that you perform a routine in depth warm-up sniff test to make sure that your nose is mucas free and that your smelling senses are in tip-top conditions. To do this, sit up slowly from your already propped up posistion on your pillow and give on very soft gentle inhale through your nose that should last no more than .5 seconds. If you sense no signs of nasal blockage, proceed to inhale again through your nose with a little more force and for a slightly longer duration. Continue on in this way for about 10 minutes; until you have reached your full sniffing capacity.

2)Getting Up-
Now you are ready to get out of bed. carefully remove the covers while inhaling normally through your nose. Swing your legs carefully out of bed and stand up slowly, so no pressure is added to your nasal passages. CONGRATULATIONS! you are now up!

3)Morning Routine/Breakfast/Getting Ready for Work-
Normally a person might shower, brush their teeth, get dressed etc etc...but as a sock smeller it is imperative that your nose is in tip top shape, there for your nose care comes before all else! Daily you should do a nose rinse three or more times a day (perchase at store, available in most pharmacey sections of grocery stores), and brush your nose at least twice a day (again can be perchased near tooth brushes). Noise hair trimming is important; make sure you trim your nose hairs every morning (the suggested implement for nose hair trimming is the nose hair trimmer 3000, available off of www.nosesRus.com)!! After you finish cleaning your nose, you may proceed with your other hygenic procedures of the morning.

Before you eat breakfast it is time for your morning work out. This should include your nose crunches, nose push-ups, nose wiggling, more sniffing practice and more advanced nasal excercises, depending on your skill. Books on proper techniques and exercises can be found at nosesrus.com, the recommended book is 'Nose Work Outs and Care for Begginers and Proffesionals by Bill Probisci)

Breakfast is an excellent time to practice you sniffing skills, but DO NOT EAT SPICEY FOODS THAT WILL MAKE YOUR EYES AND NOSE RUN!!!!!!

Pack your brief case with: 1 scent free clean sock. As in wine tasting where you clear the flavor of the last wine with a sip of water, it is important to have something to 'set to start' the senses. In this case the sense of smell. 1 pair of sergeon's style gloves (you know, the white laytex kind that you can make balloon people out ofXD) so that you do not contaminated the sock with your germy hands. 1 mouth mask so you don't a) breathe on the sock or b) get lint and fuzzies in your mouth. 1 personally fitted nastrol guard to prevent lint and fuzzies from travelling up your nasal passages and choking you. and a healthy lunch.

4) at work-
at work your job is to of course smell socks before they get packaged and sent to the stores for people to buy. Simply smell them and make sure that they don't smell like plastic or rancid bananas or something disgusting.

5) go home, brush your nose, do some nose excercises, do a nose rinse, and eat some foods that own't make you get a stuffy nose.

Head of Hogwarts

Many people believe that being the Head of Hogwarts is something very difficult that takes alot of work. And it is! All hail Elfie! Yet I was able to write down all the tips to being a good or at least memorable Headmaster in under an hour! Here I will post a short summary for you as my book will be published at all Barnes and Nobles near you on September 18, 2010! Reserve it now while it's still fresh!

Now the very first thing you would have to do is change your name to Dumbledore. Either as your first or last name. It doesn't matter! What matters is that you at least have the name Dumbledore in your title. You can't exactly be a memorable headmaster with a name like Joe Smith right? You can also claim to be the distant relative of Dumbledore. The more distant the better! That way people cannot prove you wrong and they'll feel less likely to contradict you as you are a "Dumbledore".

Another thing you need to decide straight off the bat is whether you want to be a caring, honest headmaster. Or the mean, rude one. My advice is to be the meanone because then it becomes less work for you as the caring one will have to worry about evertyone's problems and listen to people. *gag* If you decide to be mean, you don't neccesarily have to listen or even pay attention to people!

Last but not least when you are asked a question that you don't know the answer to, pretend to be all knowing and wise and answer their question with one of your own. That way you might successfully be able to confuse them into seeking out their answer elsewhere.

More tips will be discussed when you buy my book!

HIPPO GROOMER


A hippo groomer can be a very dangerous job if you are not careful. If you make one slip up you could find yourself stuck underneith the hippo's belly and trust me, that is not a funny sight, smell or feeling!

Follow these few simple rules and you will be well on your way to becoming the safest, and most acomplished hippo groomer around

1. Approach the hippo from the front. Approaching from the back is dangerous for two reasons. 1) Hippos have a tendency to bum fight and 2) That is where the waste comes from (again not a pretty smell)

2. Talk to the hippo whilst grooming it. The hippo will not talk back, though your voice will calm it

3. Never tickle a purple hippo (This is apparently the HE motto - Ive seen it somewhere but I cant remember where), take your chance with other colour hippos

4. Make sure you select the correct colour to spray paint your hippo. Spraying a purple one green would not work.

5. Use a fine tooth comb for the whisp of hair on the hippos head, though avoid the eyes

Being a musician is enjoyable, fantastic, and not very good pay. But we'll ignore the last one because that is not what being a musician is all about. It's about having fun and enjoying what you're doing.

The first thing that being a musician requires is confidence. Without it, peformances will go horribly wrong, and you'll come ooff stage crying and hitting yourself with a light bulb. I do not advise this, however, so be confident when you perform, keeping a passive face. The audience don't want to look at you and think 'Oooh! She made a mistake there! You can tell by the look on her face!'

Confidence is also good for progress. You won't be the best in the field, and if you maintain the confidence that you should already have, you can progress further, improving your skills to a point where you'll feel even more confident with yourself. So the point of the first point is - have confidence!!

Second thing - enjoy yourself. Being a musician isn't a job. There's more to it than that, and if you don't enjoy performing and composing then there really is no point in you even bothering to try and be a musician. People become musicians because a) they can, and b) they want to. You have to want it to have it - there's no point doing something you don't enjoy, and this applies especially to music.

Fun is something that ties in with enjoyment - a very wise person once said to me, 'If you're bored, you are boring.' In other words, if you're not having fun, you won't look like you're having fun, and the audience won't feel the musical vibe that they should feel when they watch someone perform. And everyone should feel a musical something when they watch someone perform, because it's just a good feeling and everyone should be happy and everything is a happy thing! Not that that makes any sense at all but that wouldn't be the point.

However, I do have another point. Be somewhat skilled. Even if it's just a little bit. When someone wants something, even if they're a slow beginner, it's most likely that they will get that something, even if someone tells them otherwise. If they're awful at it, they can get better. However, if they truly are hideously horrendous - i.e. there are just some people who don't understand music, just like there are people who don't understand maths - then there really is no hope. Skill, or talent, is something that one needs if they want to pursue a career in their desired dream. If there is none, not even a tiny hint of it, then it's most likely that being a musician isn't the path for you.

Lastly, being a musician is about performance. Have you ever seen actors who just have stage presence? Once they walk on stage, you're enthralled in whatever it is they're doing. Every little action excites you, every little detail. It's the same for musicians. They walk onto that stage, head held high, confident, grinning, and knowing that they will enjoy themselves no matter what!

And that, should you ever want to be a musician, is what you should to be one!

MAGAZINE EDITOR


Being a magazine editor it’s not an easy Job. In fact it’s a very stressful job.

A magazine editor spends lots of sleepless nights working, especially on days before the release of each magazine number.

A magazine editor must make sure each page and space in each space is well distributed.

He has to choose which article is published and which don’t. Therefore he has to accept or reject a journalist’s work.

Sometimes he has to be rough on journalists telling their work is bad so they work harder.

That’s why magazine editors are often not loved by their employees, but someone has to do the job.

It’s an emotional and physical stressful job you have to take lost of endurance in order to do it.

i call CHEF! i will poat my entry closer to the date but be warned....it is mine!!

I'm only claming the job,

VET Do not touch my job!

BIN WOMAN

Bin Woman:

1. If you are afraid of small, furry things like cats or squirrels or mice, I advise you to have a Banishing spell in mind, because small furry things often linger about the rubbish.

2. When you are carrying a rubbish bag, place one hand underneath and one on the neck of the bag. Do not scream “Eeeewww!” if the bag splits open. That is considered very unprofessional.

3. Wearing a clothespin on your nose is also considered unprofessional, as well as uncomfortable. Practice meditation to block out the smells you dislike.

4. Wear your thickest rubber gloves at all times, especially if you decide to secretly open a bag and rummage through the contents for treasure.

5. Claim innocence when the 2 excellent-looking mattresses you dragged home were actually infested with bedbugs.

6. Don’t tell your kids where you got the bananas that you blended into their banana-strawberry-pineapple-vanilla yogurt drink.

7. When you give your husband a clock radio with the clock beyond repair but the radio working just fine and he complains that you’re a cheapskate, remind him that in some countries people have never even heard of radios, and tell time by the sun and moon.

8. Don’t play DVD’s you find on your home computer. Try them out on someone else’s computer or DVD player first, since they may jam your machines or infest them with viruses.

9. Wash any clothing you find three times before you or anyone else wears it. For tough stains soak the clothing overnight. Use strong-smelling detergent, preferably the ‘fresh air’ scent.

10. If you are unfortunate enough (or lucky enough, depending on your perspective) to drive the truck, don’t smile too much when the other workers encounter particularly disgusting rubbish. I speak from experience when I say that smiling while others are ill from disgust might just get a boiled potato with sour cream smeared on it thrown at you.

11. Assure your neighbor that the secondhand books you got her for a birthday present were actually from a reputable source, and you paid good money for them. Cross your fingers behind your back as you do so, and try not to feel guilty for lying. Remind yourself that on your birthday she gave you the picture frame you bought for her the year before.

12. Save all the coins and occasional dollar bills you find in a special envelope, and then use it for your kids’ allowance. Last year I ended up with a total of 9.36 in currency. When your kids complain about the .39 cents they receive every month, remind them that there are starving children in Africa and India.

13. Ignore the occasional ridicule from ignorant people. They obviously have no idea of the many advantages of this job. And don’t forget to wash your hands when you get home at the end of the day. Especially if you plan to cook dinner.

To be a successful author, you have to be slightly special, as you have to have an inventive imagination, original ideas, an a writing style that appeals to the public. In order to becopme a good author you must:
1) Read a lot, as this improves your writing style from an early age
2) Be confident in yourself, as there are a lot of people out there who will critisise you and try to bring you down
3) Have a supportive group of family and friends, as it takes a lot of time and effort to write a book, and even when it is written, it is a huge challenge to try and get it published, so you'll need the support of those around you to give you the courage to keep going.
4) an honest friend, to proofread the book, and to make comments as to how it can be made better (as it is impossible to judge the quality of your own work)
5) Perseverence- when writing, there are many times when it seems that your dream of becoming a published author seems like it will never happen, but if you give up, then it never will
6)an original idea- you can't jst reword a story thats already been written (unless you change it and add to it sufficiently that no one can tell which one you have copied), as people get bored of the same things.
7) The ability to write a coherent sentence also helps!
8) Write about what you know- you are more likely to have believeabkle characters that will appeal to your audience, and will improve the quality of your writeing
9) finally- enjoy writing!

How to Be a Waitress (And NOT Drop a Plate on Anyone's Head!)

Okay, are you ready to be a waitress?! Yes? I thought so. Now, when you're going to get hired, especially if you're a rookie, during your interview you should be very positive, energetic and honest. Restaurants don't want grumpy irritable people serving their customers food andthen scaring them off.

Also, if you have any extra talents like peeling carrots, pouring drinks, making desserts, etc., you are more likely to get a job and as many shifts as you want. They want people who are able to help out a lot, and the more you can do, the more likely they are to want you to work for them.

Generally, larger restaurants will teach you everything you need to know about waitressing there.

Some of the things you will learn are:

1. How to Greet the Table
~I.E. Hello and welcome to Marvin's! Our soup of the day is chocolate and our special entree is candy.
May I take your orders?
2. Take an Order
~I.E. Okay, what would the young lady like first?
3. Submit your Order to the Kitchen
~I.E. Here's the order for Table 6, Neil. I'll come back to pick it up in ten minutes, okay?
4. Present the Bill.
~I.E. Here's your bill, Bob. You sign here and keep this copy and leave this one for me. Thanks for coming and I hope you enjoyed your meal!

etc.

Make sure you remember everything they all you, and do the things the way they prefer, otherwise you might displease your boss.

Now, as you most likely are aware of, what the restaurant pays the waitress generally isn't a huge pot of money. The main way to make money is large tips. To start off, watch what other favorite waiters and take note of things they do and try copying things. In fact, when you first start your boss might ask you to shadow another waitress, so you don't have to randomly stare at your co-workers and cause suspicion. XD

To finish up, here are a few "Dos and Don'ts" of Waitressing!

DO-Learn the Menu as soon as possible. When Mr. Whatshisface asks what the soups of the day are, to be able to recall them quickly will show that you are competent, and they'll be glad to have you serving them.

DON'T-Fight over tables with other waiters/waitresses-If someone wants your table, let them have it. This could be helpful if you're very busy, or if they don't have much to do as you. Remember, you want to keep the environment between you and your co-workers happy and supportive-not hostile.

DO Learn the Names of Your Regular Customers As Soon As Possible!-If you can greet Mrs. Whoever as soon as you seat her to her table without having to ask her name, she'll feel closer to you and know she can come back because she is familliar with the restaurant.

DO Remember Certain Things About Regulars-If you can always remember that Mr. Fancypants' son is allergic to dairy products and shouldn't have cheese on his hamburger, then they'll know they can trust you with their orders. However, make sure this is kept in your head or it might seem "stalkerish"

DO One thing at a time. Write down the order as your customers give it, that way if someone interrupts you on your way over to the order counter and asks for another water, you won't forget the order you just got.

DO Break down the "wall" between you and your customer-Make a joke, introduce yourself, and make your customers welcome so they'll come back again and again.

DO Be Clear about the Order-repeat the order as you say it, and when you have them all, re-read them to check for mistakes. If they haven't given a choice for a side, present them with the choices so you can be sure to give them exactly what they want.

DON'TQuestion a Special Request-There are many reasons why a special request could be made, and if it's not unreasonable, don't ask about it.

DO-Remove items from the table as they are finished-That way, your customers can have a nice, clean table to eat on and don't have to maneuver around the appetizer plate and soup bowls.

Don't assume when the dinner is through and your customers want the check-Always ask if there's something else you can do for them, or ask for dessert. If they say there's nothing you can do, ask if you may bring out the check. Never wait for a diner to ask you, because it may mean they are either in a hurry or you have been lax in your table checking.

DO Be polite, even when your customers are not. Keep your cool, don't argue with the customers. If it gets to be a situation you can't handle, then send your manager to the table. It's their job to help you out whenever you really need it.

DONT Let a bad tip ruin your shift. Hey, it happens. Some people either don't know or don't care that tips should be 15%-20% of the bill. Don't complain to another table about a bad tip, it could get you fired and could cause bad relations between your co-workers and customers. Just let it go and work just as hard to get an excellent tip the next time.

DO Check back often with your tables-That way, your customers won't sit around waiting for anything. If they drop a fork or spoon, if you check back often then they won't have to wait long for a clean one so they can continue with their meal.

DO Dress slightly more formal than the other waiting staff, no matter what the "minimal" dress code is. It sets you apart, and then your co-workers will want to follow your example.

DO Keep your uniform-if you have one, neat, stain-free and ironed.

DONT Bring drama and a bad mood to work. It doesn't help the environment.

DONT sit around. Someone may need help, so be there to offer a hand!

I hope you know a thing or two now. So, everyone go out there and SERVE THEM SPECIALS!! XD

Air hostess


To become a good air hostess simply look at the following rules:

* You must be at least 18 otherwise you cant serve alcohol on the flight (and you cant drink it either 18 or not!!)

* You must be in good health - If you sneeze you might end up on the moon!

* You need to be between 160 cm-185 cm in height according to requirements. This is due to banging your head on overhead compartments - you dont want a concussion!

* Having good eyesight is also a necessity. If you dont, you might not see the purple hippo creeping onto the airplane!

* You must know more first aid than simply how to stick a plaster on a finger!

* It is always good to know another language to your first to know if foreign people are saying you smell!

* You must have travelled as a passenger on at least one flight. This is to ensure that you won’t freak out on your first day “on the job”.

* You must be nice to the passengers and not go around talking of bombs etc

Bwahah, i'm gonna tell about the fine art of being a life guard. Woo! Anyway, it's pretty easy, really.. All we do is sit in our awesome chair and watch the people there *coughhotguyscough**

The most important thing to do as a life guard is to ignore those fakers. Yes, sometimes they die. ANYWAY!!! If someone screams for help.... ignore them. A person who needs help wouldn't scream for it. *nods knowingly* They would scream "NOT TO WORRY, DON'T COME HERE, I'M FINE!!!" ^^

My daily routines are:

- running down the beach in slow motion
- smile, even if a kid throws a frizbee at me
- blow in my whistle while running around (IT'S SO CUTE!!!! *squee*)
- ignore people that screams for 'help'
- collect all the unnecessary clothes off the people
- make contacts (collect first and last name, phone numbers, adresses etc..)

Anyone can be a life guard! *shrugs* Nononononono, wait wait! Scrap that, it need character! Yeah, that.... *nods again and glares around* Being a life guard is a form of art! OKAY!? ART!!!! Good. ^^

If you want to become a life guard follow the points under:

- show some character
- call your mom about your plans
- get haxxed to Siberia (remember to take summer clothes, it's a very hot place)
- sell everything you own on eBay and send the money to moi

Very easy! ^^ It's a once in a lifetime experience, i assure you that.. what, it is!? ARE YOU TELLING ME OTHERWISE!?!? No? Good. Because i'm the master of life guarding. *bows* Worship me! ...a little? No? Hmph. Evil.

Enough of babbling, off you go to eBay. Remember to put a nice price on your stuff... Thank you! ^^

A baker is someone who primarily bakes and sells bread. Cakes and similar foods may also be produced, as the traditional boundaries between what is produced by a baker as opposed to a pastry chef have blurred in recent decades. The place where a baker works is called a bakehouse, bakeshop, or bakery.

A baker is alot like a chef, expect, they make, cakes, bread and deserts. Bakers work in bakery's. A baker, bakes. On the other hand, Chef's make supper, and breakfast and lunch. Chef's work at restaurants. A chef, cooks. They are similar because they both create food!

Definition of BAKE:
1. to cook by dry heat in an oven or on heated metal or stones.
2. to harden by heat: to bake pottery in a kiln.
3. to dry by, or subject to heat: The sun baked the land.
–verb (used without object)
4. to bake bread, a casserole, etc.
5. to become baked: The cake will bake in about half an hour.
6. to be subjected to heat: The lizard baked on the hot rocks.
–noun
7. a social occasion at which the chief food is baked.
8. Scot. cracker (def. 1).

Definition of BAKER:
1. a person who bakes.
2. a person who makes and sells bread, cake, etc.
3. a small portable oven.
4. (usually initial capital letter) a code word used in communications to represent the letter B.

CANDLESTICK MAKER (wheeee)


A candlestick maker is someone who, through no fault of their own, has fallen into the career path of making candlesticks for the general populace. Generally they are considered the lowest portion of society, the dregs, if you will.

BUT IS THIS TRUE?

Jimmy says no. Many fine qualities are needed to be a candlestick maker. For example:

• A keen eye for detail
  
• A thorough understanding of wax and pyrotechnics
  
• A complete lack of shame and no life ambition

A candlestick maker must understand the intricacies of making an object that is long and thin with a bit of string in the middle. They must be able to understand the confusing and intricate principles behind the idea that if you put a wick in the middle of wax, it'll still burn, but the wax will make it burn slower than if it were open.

Finally, a candle stick maker must have mastered the ancient art of Wax-Fu. Wax on, wax off, young sensei. Wax on, wax off...