Transfiguration in the news

Simple Transfigurations Caused Disaster

As you alll know, transfiguration is fun, yet can be dangerous if the proper care is not given. For this lesson, we are throwing out the question style homework and once again bringing in your creative side!

Using the title above, I want you to write a 200 word news report. It can cover one incident or many, but it has to be detailed and cover the dangers of transfiguration. Also, at the end of the report, you will need to have a list of do's and don't's when performing transfiguration on humans. The list should comprise of 5 do's and 5 don't's.

This class holds a maximum of 40 housepoints!

Remember,if you use and websites,please note them.

Have fun and be as creative as you want!

[Ron] “Harry, come read this, you won‘t believe what happened.”
(Ron said as he was continually laughing. Harry walks in.)
[Harry] “What’s it about?”
[Ron] “Just read it Harry”
(Ron hands the paper to Harry with a smirk on his face, as Harry reads the paper out loud.)

Local Polar Bear Disaster

Attention Witches and Wizards. Grab you children to help protect your lawn. There is a polar bear on the lose. That’s right a polar bear. If you are unaware of what a polar bear is turn to page 4, Rita will be describing what one looks like and sounds like.

(Ron interrupts, “Oh.. I want to read page four!” Harry rolls his eyes and kept reading.)

The local boy, Nelville Longbottom has somehow transfigured himself into a polar bear. This polar bear is unable to understand normal commands and is disposing body fluids and dumping on lawns.

(Ron and Harry both break out in laughter. The front page picture shows the Malfoy’s Manor and the polar bear (Nelville) crapping on their lawn.)

(Harry kept reading)

The polar bear was Untransfigured back to his original state. Some good news on the horizon is that Neville is fine and the clean up crew is heading to the Malfoy’s last.

(Ron jumps in laugher.)
[Ron] “Wouldn’t it be funny if Malfoy stepped in a big pile of Sh…”
[Ginny] “Ronald! Watch your language.”
[Ron] “Who are you Mum?”
(Ginny stares are Ron with a glimpse of “I’m going to hurt you” look]

[Harry] “Ok… let me finish”
(Harry continues to read)

Thanks to this disaster we have come up with our yearly do’s and don’ts when it comes to Transfiguration.

Do‘s
* Read Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration
* Know how to Untransfigure yourself. You’d hate to be stuck that way forever.
* Be taught by a Professor. Its sad to say how many students where taught by their siblings and have lost fingers or toes.
* Know how to flick your wand. If you improperly flick your wand, you are able to make the spell back fire.
* Learn how to say the spell correctly. If you say it incorrectly there’s a chance that you will become a vegetable.

Don’ts
* Transfigure something on an empty stomach. Its possible that the grumble of your stomach could unbalance you. This would cause your mother to turn into a toaster. (Lasts years mishap)
* Pretend to be a “Mugard” (Muggle trying to be a wizard). If you are not a witch or wizard, don’t try and do these spells.
* Transfigure into Air. We believe this is where a lot of wizards went wrong, and possibly why people are missing.
* Transfigure your animals into humans. Having humans running around looking like Cyclops, Big Foot, or the Abominable Snowman, makes muggles suspect something.
* Transfigure yourself to be older or younger. Lord knows we’d have parents being children and children being adults.

[Harry] “So that’s where Big Foot came from.”
(Harry said as he cut out the picture of Nelville the polar bear crapping on Malfoys lawn.)
[Harry] “This is going in my collection!”

~*Christina*~

SIMPLE TRANSFIGURATIONS CAUSED DISASTER
Exclusive! Local man transfigures himself into chocolate teapot!

A local man transfigured himself into a chocolate teapot, yesterday. The eighty-six year old man from Shaldon, John Heath, transfigured himself whilst holding a birthday party for his ten year old grandson.

His wife tells us, “He was pithering about like usual, getting in me way, giving me gip, so I says to him, I says, ‘John, you blighter, you’re about as much use as a chocolate teapot!’ An’ my John, he’s a bit deaf, you see, an’ so he says to me, ‘Yer what, Deirdre? Turn meself into a chocolate teapot?’ An’ he did. Turns ‘imself into a bleedin chocolate teapot. I ask you.”

The incident, which took place at the elderly couple’s home, was reported to the accidental magic reversal squad, who spent a frantic ten minutes reversing the spell. Deirdre goes on to say, “By the time the squad turned up I was getting meself into a right state. John was startin’ to melt, see, and the kiddies kept trying to break bits off and eat them.”

Clearly traumatised by what happened, Mrs Heath is unable to continue. Thankfully, Mr Heath was restored to his normal self, and is now recuperating in St Mungo’s.

The accidental magic reversal squad have issued the following statement:

What happened to Mr Heath was an unfortunate accident, yet it need not have happened. We implore readers to follow our simple dos and don’ts with regards to transfiguration in the home:

Do:
• Complete your transfiguration education to AT LEAST O.W.L. standard.
• Read ‘A Beginners Guide to Transfiguration’ by Emeric Switch
• ALWAYS make sure you know the correct spell
• Know the floo port for the Accidental Magical Reversal Squad
• Have someone with you when transfiguring yourself

Don’t:
• Attempt to transfigure yourself if you do not know the counter-spell
• Transfigure yourself without proper planning
• Transfigure yourself into objects that are likely to perish (such as Mr Heath’s chocolate teapot)
• Perform complicated transfiguration if you are elderly or infirm
• Rely on second-hand information. ALWAYS perform spells that have been approved by the International Transfiguration Association.

TRANSFIGURATION TANGLE!!!

At approximately 18:52 on Saturday 1st April, the Ministry’s Accidental Magic Reversal Squad was dispatched to reverse a badly botched transfiguration.

A Miss Vanity Golde had transfigured herself into a brush! This reporter had fortunately been having tea at the Golde Mansion when this unfortunate accident occurred.

Mrs Golde, Vanity’s mother explains to us what happened.

“She had a party to go to this evening with her friends. So naturally, she wanted to look her best! She had been in her room all morning beautifying her. I think that maybe her brush broke and she got worked up so she tried to transfigure something into a hairbrush, accidentally transfiguring herself instead. She was never that bright at transfiguration anyway. She takes after her father, you see.”

Fortunately for Miss Vanity Golde, our Reversal Squad was able to put her right within minutes, although her time as a brush caused her to lose all of the effort she had put into her appearance. We are sorry to report that she had to decline the invitation to the party at short notice and with very tangled hair.

The moral of this news report is to inform the public, our readers about the fine art and the dangers of transfiguration. We have brought to you, five “Dos and Don’ts” from none other than Professor Minerva McGonagall, Transfiguration Professor of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Dos

- Always focus on your desired transfiguration outcome.
- Always point your wand directly at the object you wish to transfigure
- Always pronounce the incantation, if any, correctly.
- Always read “A Guide to Useful Transfiguration” if uncertain of anything.
- Always ensure that you or someone around you knows the correct counter-spell.

Don’ts

- Never attempt transfiguration without an Acceptable at OWL standard.
- Never try and transfigure more than one item at a time.
- Never transfigure anything into a dangerous creature.
- Never perform a transfiguration when frustrated, angry, hurt or hungry.
- Never be scared to ask for help!

Simple Transfigurations Caused Disaster

News reports just in.
Our reporter N. Ewon is on the scene now. Over to you N. Ewon!
“Thank you Skyla. Well as you can see from the chaos behind me, all is not well in the small town of yellow brick. Just three miles away from kent, the small quiet town got the shock of their lives today as a small 5 year old boy, Hayden Darko, managed to get hold of a wand and muttered the transfiguration spell, a complex spell which turned her three friends into big white rabbits. It is believed that she muttered it without knowing the words, yet sources do say that she had been seen with a young blonde haired boy and a big black book.
There have been no casualties and the situation is now under contrl, but it has been noticed that one of the young children has white streaks in her long blonde hair and an obsessive craving for carrots. When we here more, we will let you know.
Back to you in the magical television station. “
Thank you N. Ewon.
And this was not the only unusual happening in the way of transfiguration today. In northern London , 22 year old Emily Vane was cleaning her house, when she found out that her mop was broken, she went to her back yard to where that huge old tree was and cut a branch from it, she leaned it on the trees trunk to perform a spell that'd transfigure it to a mop, she was halfway through saying “Mortopia” when she was startled & distracted by her 3 year old son, who was wining loudly as he ran across the yard with a cut on his forehead, turned around still muttering the spell an d holding her wand and then she cried out “Antooonnnnnnn” , and she ran across the yard to her son , but as she was about 2 feet away from him, he shone with silver light, and turned solid stone, apparently (but of course unfortunately) , she muttered something new .. a spell which turned living creatures stone statues, as for the boy.
We will report on any other incidents when they come in
(Suddenly the hundreds of magical phones begin to ring)
Yes…well I can see that today will be a busy day, must be the new moon. All I can leave you with for now is a few simple do’s and don’t’s.
Do concentrate upon your transfiguration spells and don’t turn your attention to your child in mid spell, your child is not that important!
Do Store your wand in a secure place, yet don’t put it in your back pocket unless you want your buttocks transfiguring into a puff of smoke.
Do make sure that you are using the right spell but don’t let your young child hear you
Do book yourself into the nearest magical hospital in case of wrongly transfigured body parts but don’t go without clothing
Do continue to practise safe transfiguration on your self but don’t transfigure yourself into a bar of chocolate only because you are hungry

House Elf with wand causes mayhem!

A house elf whose name is being kept quiet while investigation is underway, is alleged to have gotten
Hold of a wizarding wand, which of course is against the rules.
It seems this house elf has been privy to watching wizards transfigure, as it went on a transfiguiring rampage.
First it transformed the toilet to gold. Then it proceeded to turn the family dog into a bull.
When the master came home the enthusiastic greeting by the bull was near fatal.
The next target were garden gnomes which became enlarged and giant praying mantis creatures.
Finally it gave itself wings and was caught flitting about the garden smelling high up flowers.
The wand has been confiscated and most of the damage repaired.
Agents from the ministry have been dispatched to investigate. It is noted that this house elf has previously been let go, and the family in question is fairly new to the lifestyle. Of course, this only confirms the fears some purebloods have that those not born to the wizarding way are not suited to deal with the challenges of wizarding life. As for the house elf, it has been acting most bizzarely. Anyone with knowledge about this incident is asked to inform the ministry. Cooperation is expected. A mysterious letter was found in the house elf's possession, traces of a potion on it are being analyzed. A child is still missing however, and if anyone sees a purple monkey with three eyes please let us know.

5 do's
1. Have a good idea of what form you are changing the subject matter into in your minds eye.
2. Make sure your wand is in proper working order first.
3. If you are giving yourself new apaendages give yourself time enough to learn to use them.
4. Make sure those you are transforming are not needed somewhere soon.
5. Be sure of the duration before consuming anything you transform.


1. Do not transform creatures without the proper minds into dangerous forms.
2. If you are transforming someone to punish them don't give them natural weapons to use against you.
3. Do not transform authority figures in an attempt to escape.
4. Do not attempt to transform ghosts. Results are unpredictible at best.
5. Do not forget to give the new form of those you transform means of breathing.