HEBB 2 : Garden

"Anyway, I really didn't mean to eavesdrop in the bathroom earlier. I had started out being concerned about Dani. Can I ask you something? Have you ever had a secret and wanted to tell someone, but you were afraid to?" This was a boat that Pamela was in, and she was hoping that maybe Violet would be the one person she could talk to about it.

Violet swallowed, "Y-yeah." Violet said.

"Yeah. Me, too," Pamela said. "It's like, I want to be myself, you know? But I'm so afraid that people will want to avoid me once they know the real me. The whole me."

Violet closed her eyes, "Are you gay?" She asked, not meaning to be rude.

Pamela smiled a bit ruefully. "Yeah. I've been afraid to say anything until now, though. With how many females we have in this house, I just don't want people to be uncomfortable around me."

Pamela was out everywhere else in her life, with her family, friends, and at her job. It was just her friends and aquaintences within the house that she hadn't taken that step with.

"I hope that it doesn't change your opinion of me," she added.

Violet laughed. "Your not the only one."Violet said.

"Yeah, I know. Isn't Rai, too?" Pamela hadn't actually ever talked to Rai, but things other people had said had made it quite clear. However, it was often a different situation with females.

"Maybe. Really dont talk to him." Violet said.

"Oh," Pamela said. "Yeah, I've never actually talked to him either." Pamela looked around at the garden. It really was quite lovely out. The warm weather was so nice. "You know, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here."

Violet nodded and signed. "So many girls in the house. You tell them you are either gay or bi adn they atomaticaly think you like them or hit on them." Violet said.

"That's my fear," Pamela agreed. "I think there's at least one other girl in the house who has this in common with me, but it's hard to say."

"Dani?" Violet asked.

Pamela started a bit. She hadn't expected Violet to mention Dani's name. Had Pamela missed something? "No, actually I meant someone else. I'd prefer not to go into detail, though. I really don't want to tick anyone off."

"Oh, um ok." Violet said and pulled her legs up to her chest, laying her head on her knees

"Why don't you tell her?" Pamela asked bluntly. Violet had been blunt with her, much to Pamela's gratitude. Pamela decided to return the favor.

"Tell who?" Violet asked.

"Dani. It seemed like there was something you'd wanted to tell her. Did I misunderstand?" Pamela was starting to feel a bit embarrassed. She was afraid that she was about to make things worse than they had been.

"I cant tell her. She likes Chris. It would be wrong and...I cant be this. Im Violet Riddle, Dark Lords daughter, not Violet Riddle, the girl who cant hold her emotions on how she feels on girls." Violet said.

"Who your father is doesn't define who you are," Pamela said cautiously. "You shouldn't have to control your feelings." Pamela knew she was treading on rough ground, but she wasn't going to back down now. She just hoped that things wouldn't turn bad.

"I want to tell Dani but....what if she hates me?" Violet asked.

"You've been there for her. You've defended her to an extreme. I think that would count for something. If after all you've done, she hates you for something like that, then maybe she's not the person you thought she was." Pamela felt a little odd saying this, considering she was struggling with the same sort of emotions, but she wasn't just talking to Violet when she said these things. She was giving this advice to herself too.

Violet signed. "How hard is it? Telling a girl you like her?" Violet asked.

"It really depends," Pamela replied. "Truthfully, saying it is easy. The hard part is facing the reaction. If she likes you back, great. But there is a chance you may find that you're not ready to be with someone. On the other side, if she doesn't like you back, there are obvious reprocussions possible. Of course, it may turn out well. I think that the possibility of a good outcome weighs out the bad."

Violet signed again. "Why is some stuff so...hard?" Violet asked.

"I believe that if things were easy, there would be no meaning to life. I mean, the difficulties we face are also opportunities to learn more about ourselves and others. Going through tough things brings about an opportunity for growth," Pamela said.

She wished she could follow her own advice, but there was something holding her back. If she could just define that something, maybe she could overcome it.

Violet land her head back down on her knees.

Pamela sat for a moment, thinking. "Maybe you could test the waters first. Find some way to find out how she might react before saying anything. Just bring up the subject of people like us, then see how she responds to that. That may give you a clue as to how she may respond," Pamela suggested.

She leaned back and looked up at the sky. It really was a beautiful day. There were a few clouds, but they were thin and sparse, like cotton that had been stretched out.

"Maybe." Violet said.

"You'll figure out what the best thing is for you to do," Pamela said. "We should do something fun to take our minds off what's bugging us. Any thoughts?"

"Get a wasp nest and throw it at Chris?" Violet asked.

"While that may be amusing," Pamela began, smiling, "it might be a little violent for my taste. Besides, I'm terrified to death of wasps. They scare me almost as much as--" Pamela stopped, she remembered that she didn't like to admit to that particular phobia.

"Then what? Come on, it cant be that bad, Im deadly scared of clowns, them wooden puppets, and cockroaches." Violet said.

Dani had, had enough of sitting in a lazy boy watching the game of hide and seek so she went out to the garden and saw Violet under a tree with Pam. Violet looked sad so dani hurried over.

"Girly?" She asked sitting down, "What happened?"

Violet looked at and smiled. Patting the grass beside her, she said "Nothing. How you holding up?"

Dani shrugged, "you know I thought about it, and I really can't remember why I ever liked Chris, so I think I'm gonna take your advice and not forget about 'him' just about the feelings I used to have." She took the seat offered.

Violet smiled. "So what brings you out here?" She asked

Dani smiled, "i wanted to see you."

Violet smiled and looked up. "Pretty sunset isnt it?" Violet asked.

"Yeah," Dani nodded looking at the purples and oranges. "So whats on your mind?"

"Nothing specail...."Violet said.

"Oh...ok" Dani said looking back at the sunset.

"What if someone you knew was..diffrent?"Violet asked.

"Different? As in how?" Dani said looking up, wondering if Violet knew her secret.

"As in, liking someone you are not suppose to and the world shunning you for it?" Violet asked.

Things seemed to be getting rather personal, so Pamela decided to make herself scarce. "I'm thirsty. You guys want anything to drink?" Pamela asked of the two girls.

"No thanks." Violet said.

Dani shook her head as well, "Well I really wouldn't care, I mean sure they're different but then isn't everyone? And if someone likes someone and the world is shunning those feelings I say *instert your choice of swear word here* the world."

Violet nodded. "What if it was...a girl liking another girl?" Violet asked.

Dani looked up at this, her heart racing faster and faster, "Thats not different, alot of people are like that Violet."

"Are you ok?" Violet asked. "You seem...jumpy."