Ask Snape

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Subject: Ask Snape Fri Jan 26 2007, 15:57

First topic message reminder :

Okay i was doing my usual, reading through the many posts over at imdb when i came across this game,called ask Snape. Simple really, all you need to do is answer the question which the previous poster has asked as if u were snape and then ask your question.

So to start:

Dear darlingly lobely Snapeypoo

Would you mind deducting 400 points from GRyffindor? If not, can i have the addy for your new hide out, you seemed to have moved without telling me

Lobe
The Mad One of Huffle Mafia.

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Oct 18 2007, 22:19

Mr. Weirdo with a long name

I don't care and if you bother me again I'll kill you too

-Snape
--------------

Dear Sevvie

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

from your #1 fan

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Oct 18 2007, 22:45

Elfie,

I told you, not as long as you have Mick

Snape
-----------------------
Severus

Why am I getting mail from the United States about you?

Lord Voldemort
Ask Snape - Page 5 Slytheri

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Oct 18 2007, 22:54

Milord..

Er...I don't know what you are talking about

-Snape

p.s. ask potter

--------------

SEVVVIE

me + you = 4ever lover

- dumbledore on drugs

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Oct 18 2007, 23:04

Fumbledore,

Ew. Never.

Snape
----------------------------
Severus,

Why am I being summoned to the United States, I got this summons that says you killed a bunch of people. You did it without me? Now, I'm just hurt.

Lucius
Ask Snape - Page 5 Slytheri

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Oct 18 2007, 23:08

Lucius

I am very sorry - I thought you were on vacation in Mexico at that time...but I didn't finish killing all of the U.S. you can come with me to continue the job on Tuesday

-Snape

-----------------------

Snape

How dare you kill innocent people in the U.S.
you giggle!

-Hermione

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Oct 18 2007, 23:14

Miss Granger,

It's very easy. I go to the United States, I kill people wearing my dress robes, I come back. What's so hard to understand?

Snape
-------------------------
Snape,

Dude, give peace a chance

Random Hippy
Ask Snape - Page 5 Slytheri

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Fri Oct 19 2007, 00:06

Random Hippy

I did and all I go was a a stupid flag with the words
"Yo, Peace Out"

-Snape

-------------------
Snape

Join the Dark Side

-HP

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Fri Oct 19 2007, 23:09

HP

I am the Dark Side. Get a clue

Snape
---------------
Snape,

I need you to send a dementor to one Dolores Umbridge, she's annoyed me

Voldemort
Ask Snape - Page 5 Slytheri

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sat Oct 20 2007, 00:46

Voldemort

don't be lazy - send one yourself

-Snape

----------

Sev

I am your father

- Dumbledore

-

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sat Oct 20 2007, 02:52

Dumbledore

No your not have you been drinking fire whiskey again?

-Sev

...........................
Dear Snape

How have things been?

Harry

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sat Oct 20 2007, 12:34

Harry,

Like you care

Snape
-------------------------
Snape

I don't know how to get to the land of Oz, idiot. You do.

Voldemort
Ask Snape - Page 5 Slytheri

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Mon Oct 22 2007, 00:44

Voldemort

HELLO? you LIVE on the yellow brick road
- what are you talking about?!?

-Snape

--------------------------

Dear Sevvie S.

Can you meet me at 3 at leaky cauldron?
I want an autograph please

- Daisy

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Mon Oct 22 2007, 09:38

Daisy,

No

Snape
---------------------------------
Snapy-poo,

what have I told you, you need to be nicer to the children!

Your mother
Ask Snape - Page 5 Slytheri

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Mon Oct 22 2007, 09:41

Mom,

I thought you were dead!

Snape. Not Snapey-poo. Don't you think I'm a little too old for such nicknames?

------

To Snape,

...I know your secret!!

The Half-Blood Prince

(Yup. Thats right. I AM the Half Blood Brince)

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Mon Oct 22 2007, 21:34

To the HBP

YOU COPY CAT!

-Snape also the Half Blood Prnce

-------------

S.Snape

Your yearly flu shot is tomorrow at 8pm
Please be there or I'll be force to send the muggle FBI after you (like last year)

-Head Doc.

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Oct 25 2007, 17:13

Head Doc,

You do, this time you will die.

Snape
-------------------------
Snape,

You rock!

Draco Malfoy
Ask Snape - Page 5 Slytheri

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Oct 25 2007, 23:08

Draco Malfoy

AHHH! you're suppose to be dead
I killed you personally

-Snape

-------------------
Snape,

I have found out that someone had made Draco Malfoy back to life...please find him or her I need to have a chat with the person

- Lucius Malfoy

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Fri Oct 26 2007, 12:36

Lucius,

No, I will not allow you to resurrect that pansy, Voldemort, again. He's had enough chances.

Snape
----------------------------------------
Snape,

I wish they all could be California girls

David Lee Roth
Ask Snape - Page 5 Slytheri

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Oct 28 2007, 14:45

David Lee Roth

Along with this letter is a business card to the local therapist
I think you need it

-Snape

---------

Snape

Stop sending people to me- I'm not a therapist

-Voldie

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Oct 28 2007, 17:27

Voldie,

No, but you're a great body disposal service.

Snape
--------------------
Snape,

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootie pop?

Mr. Turtle
Ask Snape - Page 5 Slytheri

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Oct 28 2007, 17:40

Mr. Turtle

Do I look like I care?

-snape

P.S. by the way it's 189 licks

-------------------

Dear Snape

You are going to die soon

-the Divination Professor

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Oct 28 2007, 17:56

Trelawny,

We all die, at least I will look good when I do.

Snape
-------------------------------
Snape

I'll be back

Arnold
Ask Snape - Page 5 Slytheri

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Oct 28 2007, 18:00

Arnold

yeah whatever

-Snape

-----------

Sev.

I AM YOUR FATHER!

- Daddy Fudge

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Oct 28 2007, 21:49

Fudge,

No, I am YOUR daddy. Get it right.

Snape
---------------------------
Snape,

What ya gonna do, brother, when Hulkamania runs wild on you!

Hulk Hogan
Ask Snape - Page 5 Slytheri

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Mon Oct 29 2007, 00:40

Hulk Hogan

I'm going to- Wait...I don't get it
But you could go visit the local shrink

-Snape

----

SNAPE

STOP TELLING OTHERS THAT I'M A SHRINK!
i'm a head taller than you

-Lucius

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Mon Oct 29 2007, 17:09

Lucius,

I think you have lost your mind.

Snape

---

Snape,

I lost my purse in Knockturn Alley, be a good boy and fetch it for me. Oh and try not to taint it too much.

Rita Skeeter

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Mon Oct 29 2007, 20:28

Rita Skeeter

Why should I?

-Snape

---------

Sevvie

Please pick up some groceries tomorrow on your way here

-Mum

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Tue Oct 30 2007, 20:48

Mum,

You're dead, you don't need groceries.

Snape

PS: I still love you
-----------------------------------
Snape,

You should fetch my purse because you're the one who stole it in the first place.

Rita Skeeter
Ask Snape - Page 5 Slytheri

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Tue Oct 30 2007, 20:51

Rita Skeeter

Like I care

-Snape

----------

Whom ever this concerns

the world is stupid

-emo lord

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Tue Oct 30 2007, 21:33

Emo lord,

Shut up and die, then.

Snape
----------------------
Snape,

Shut up aqnd get my purse or I'll Imperio your pants off

Rita Skeeter
Ask Snape - Page 5 Slytheri

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Tue Oct 30 2007, 23:31

Rita Skeeter

I'm in the shower! My pants are already off

-Snape

--------------

Snape

Your mom is bothering me

-Seriously Sirius Black

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Wed Oct 31 2007, 18:50

Sirius,

Ask me if I care. In case you didn't know, that thought warms my dark, cuddly soul.

Snape
-------------------------
Snape,

If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how many peppers did Peter Piper really pick?

Curious in LA
Ask Snape - Page 5 Slytheri

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Wed Oct 31 2007, 19:53

Curious in LA

like I care

-Snape

p.s. how much wood could a wood chuck chuck could a wood chuck could chuck wood?

----------------

Sevviekins

We love you

-Fred & George

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Nov 01 2007, 22:22

Fred and George,

First Fred, you're dead.

George, you should be quiet.

Loving apples,
Snape
------------

Snape,

Where is my towel?

Bellatrix

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Nov 01 2007, 23:41

Bellatrix

i put it in the hamper after my shower

-Snape

--------------

Snape

I told you to stop using my hot tub a million times already!
You're getting grease all over it

-Voldemort

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sat Nov 03 2007, 00:13

Voldielocks,

Hello, I bought the hot tub in the first place, you're using MY hot tub.

Snape
------------------------------
Snapy-poo,

You still owe me one dance!

Madame Maxime
Ask Snape - Page 5 Slytheri

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sat Nov 03 2007, 00:33

Madame Maxime

Fine meet me at 2 at Hogsmede to do the Cha-cha

-Snape

-----------
Snape

Why did you steal my girlfriend

-Hagrid

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sat Nov 03 2007, 09:34

Hagrid,

Because I can. Seriously, you big oaf, I'm dancing with her, not dating her. Pull that insignificantly small thing you call a brain back into your humoungous skull and use it for a change.

Snape
----------------------------------
Sevvie-kins!

Are you still going to help me what that one thing we talked about before?

You-Know-You-Want-Me
Ask Snape - Page 5 Slytheri

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Nov 04 2007, 11:22

I-know- i-don't-want-you

NO

-Sev

-------------

Dearie

Your death is near!
mwhahaha

-The Seer

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Nov 04 2007, 11:42

Trewlany-

If I recive another letter like this I'm going to have a word with Dumbledore.

-Snape

~~~~~~

Dear Snape:

Why in the world are you so mean to kids?! Like Harry what did Harry ever do to you?

The boy who lived

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Nov 04 2007, 14:56

Potter

Why are you talking about yourself in third person?

-Snape

----------

Professor

I believe that Mr. Potter has some issues can you suggest anything?

Head of Gryffindor

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Mon Nov 05 2007, 14:12

Head of Gryffindor

i recommend an intense course of shock therapy at St Mungo's to last about 100 years, i have the submission form here, if you'd just sign it...

Snape

Dearest Severus

I fear that Luius make suspect our affair, can you kill him now?

Love always
Dobby

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Mon Nov 05 2007, 19:05

Dobby,

What! How dare he cheat on me!
Er..I meant I'll take to him later

-Snape

--------------

Dearest Snape

Is our date still on?

- Bellatrix

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sat Nov 17 2007, 20:29

Dear Bellatrix,

Of course my darling. That is if you mean the date for our duel.

Yours spitefully,
Severus Snape

Dear Professor Snape,

My girlfriend wants me to be more like you. Can you tell me the secret to what makes you so mysteriously cool?

Sincerely,
Colin Creevey

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Nov 18 2007, 09:27

Dear Colin Creevey,

Meet me in the Dungeons tonight and i shall teach you hot be more like me.
Please come alone and do not tell anyone about this meeting ~~because i plan on crucioing you until you cry like the baby you are~~

yours
Snape.

[i]Dearest Severus.

My Heart is pounding
My head is spinning
Come rescue me
The we can swimming,

love you always
Lucius.

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Nov 18 2007, 09:48

Deeeearest Lucius,

You can go swimming. With Inferis, that is....

Mockingly yours,
Severus.

Honourable Mr. Snape,

My name is Jack Ginger and I am representing a company that produces alluminium gingerbread shapes. I am wondering whether we might use you as our model for this years collection of gingerbread shapes?

Yours respectfully,

J. Ginger
GingerShape Intl.
Marketing Manager

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Nov 18 2007, 10:10

Dear Mr Ginger

Do you honestly think i shall be allowing my beautiful face to be used and then demolished by some lil brats who are hungry? the answer in case you havent worked it out is N-O NO!

Yours courteously
S.Snape

Dearest Severus,

It is lonely here in death, i miss you, i have seen sense and wish to leave James, will you die for me?

yours forever
~~Sirius~~
Lily

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Nov 18 2007, 18:21

Lily

Aww darling, I miss you too
I'll see you soon after I jump out the window

Love Sevvie
XOXOXOXO

---------

Severus Tobias Snape

YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR LIFE

-your mum

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Mon Nov 19 2007, 04:23

Mum,

awwwww but why? What i have doe?

love always
your devoted son.

Dear Mr S Snape

You are here by summoned to the mid day hanging of one Harry Potter. Please RSVP asap.

Yours
The HangMan

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Mon Nov 19 2007, 04:28

Dear Hangman,

You have presented me with a conundrum. If I miss the hanging of Harry Potter, I will regret it until my dying day. However, going would require me to stand in the sunlight. How will I maintain my beautifully sallow complexion? Alas, I can't resist. I shall be there.

Thankfully,
S. Snape

Dear Professor Snape,

What kind of a patronus is a silver doe? Are you a pansy or something?

Evilly yours,
Bellatrix Lestrange

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