Ask Snape

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Subject: Ask Snape Fri Jan 26 2007, 15:57

First topic message reminder :

Okay i was doing my usual, reading through the many posts over at imdb when i came across this game,called ask Snape. Simple really, all you need to do is answer the question which the previous poster has asked as if u were snape and then ask your question.

So to start:

Dear darlingly lobely Snapeypoo

Would you mind deducting 400 points from GRyffindor? If not, can i have the addy for your new hide out, you seemed to have moved without telling me

Lobe
The Mad One of Huffle Mafia.

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Mon Dec 17 2007, 21:03

Bella,

Dear, I did it. This letter will turn you into a pair of fuzzy pink bunny slippers, simply so you can't spill the beans.

Snape the Awesome
-------------------------------------------
Snape,

Did you send me bunny slippers? IF so, why?

Voldemort
Ask Snape - Page 9 Slytheri

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Tue Dec 18 2007, 00:29

Voldemort

Just a early christmas present.
Enjoy!

-Snape

--------

Sev

Do you know what happened to Bella and Lucius? They missed my birthday!

-Cissy in Distress

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Tue Dec 18 2007, 07:14

bella was turned into a pair of slippers and lucius was eaten besides they dont like you rli mwahahahah

snape

---------------------------------
dear snape

why did you becoem a death eater

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Tue Dec 18 2007, 19:15

No name,
to feel all pwerful and cool XD which I AM!!!
now, dont bother me anymore!
-Snape

Dear Snape,
why are you so mean. they did love me, THEY DID!
-Cissy.

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Wed Dec 19 2007, 08:56

Cissy,
I'm not mean just different. You should consider you words more carefully and the did NOT love you!
~Snape

Dear Snape,
Why do you hate Ronald?
~Cass

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Wed Dec 19 2007, 14:32

Dear Cass?

Whose Ronald?

-The Evil Genius but you can call me Snape.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Snape,

Would you marry me?

Love,

Cormac McLaggan

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Wed Dec 19 2007, 15:10

Dear Cormac McLaggan,

Of course! I've been waiting my whole life for you!

Love,

Your Snapeypoo!

Dear Snape,

How did your mother choose your name?

Love,
~Curious Fan!

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Wed Dec 19 2007, 17:20

Curious Fangirl,
I think she used "The Wizard Baby Book"
Thanks for the question.
-Snape

Dear Snape,
Why are you so filled with hate? I think a tip to disney world will help!
Picking you up at 7 o'Clock!
- Molly Weasly

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Wed Dec 19 2007, 17:22

Molly,

Ah, yes! The happiest place on earth. Of course I'll go

-Sev

-----

Dearest Sevvie,

Where are you? I tried calling you on your iphone that cost $300 -somthing plus tax plus shipping (which I bought for you online)

But it didn't work!
Anyways, if you get this letter, call me cause I have to talk to you

-Hermione

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Wed Dec 19 2007, 17:48

Hermione,

Umm..I don't know where the phone went *cough, cough* And I'm busys so um...can't talk now...

Your......Sevvie

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Wed Dec 19 2007, 23:38

(you forgot to put something)

Dearest Sev

I wish you a early Christmas
Here's my gift to you.

Another iphone! It cost me $300 on ebay plus tax and shipping
hope you like it

-Hermione

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Dec 20 2007, 14:00

Dear Hermione,

I don't think this one came in either *cough, cough* and I think you might want to notice the restraining order that is enclosed.

Severus Snape

Dear Snape,
Why did you put a restraining order on Hermione?
It's not polite!

Ron!

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Dec 20 2007, 16:22

Ron

Look kid, was I ever polite?

-Snape

----

S.Snape

It seems like your friend Hermione J. Granger has sent you 188 iphones, 3 laptops, and 2 private jets that are now in the Ebay warehouse. We do not have a truck big enough for all of them so can you please come and pick them up yourself?

-Ebay Staff

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Dec 20 2007, 16:24

Dear Ebay Staff,

You can give these to goodwill! I AM NOT GOING TO PICK THEM UP!!

~S.S.

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Dec 20 2007, 16:29

ebay staff

i think i will auction them off.
-snape

Snape

Yes you are when you see professer dumbledore!!

Ron

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Dec 20 2007, 16:30

Ron,

I don't quite understand what you're saying! *snape looks confused*

~Sev.

Dear Severus!

I AM YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN AND KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!!! CALL ME!!! *squeals in delight!*

~Casey

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sat Dec 22 2007, 12:53

Casey,
STALKER ALERT! STALKER ALERT! *FLASHING RED LIGHTS*
restraining order included.
-Snape

Dearest Snape,
Would you mind taking points from hufflepuff? they are winning house cup, and....
-Your Favorite Slytherin

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sat Dec 22 2007, 14:24

Dear Slytherin Student.

No, instead I will give points to Gryffindor. Jut because.

-Snape

Sevviepoo,

Are you free later tonight? I love you, and my bed's cold....

Cormac McLaggan

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sat Dec 22 2007, 22:47

Mr. McLaggan,

Buy an electric blanket (ask a muggle). Also, 15 points from Gryffindor.

Prof. Snape

Severus,

What did I do?

Your father,
Tobias Snape

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Dec 23 2007, 07:06

Daddy,
You did absoulutley everything! EVERYTHING!!

Your little Sevvie!

Dear Snape,

Why does everyone hate you until the seventh book?

Curious Fan

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Dec 23 2007, 09:42

Dear Fan,

Read the blasted book then!

-A deceased Severus

Mr. Snape,

Your magazine subscription to playboy is out. Please send more money if you want to continue receiving the magazine.

Thank you,
Hugh Hefner.

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Dec 23 2007, 10:08

Dear Hugh Hefner.

Please find enclosed my annual payment, thanks again for all these wonderful ladies.

Severus Snape.

Oi Snapeypoo!

Yeah you! Howay man, your gonna miss the toon!

Love
Lily,
a true Geordie.

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Dec 23 2007, 11:51

Dear Lily,

...

No.

Snape

Dear Snape,

We would like to feature you in our latest shampoo and conditioner ad, are you interested?

~L'oreal

p.s. because you're worth it

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Dec 23 2007, 11:53

L'oreal

go away.

Snape.

Sevvy

Please stop torturing Neville, he's a sensitive little boy.

yours
Minny

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Dec 23 2007, 11:53

Minny,

Make me Ask Snape - Page 9 410894

-Severus

Severus,

You left you broomlights on,

Albus.

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Dec 23 2007, 11:55

Albus,

i left the on for a reason, its called a quick gettaway.

Snape.

Sevvywevvy

Can you be here for 8pm tonight? ive sent Lucius and Draco to Mars.

Cissy

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Dec 23 2007, 12:12

Cissy,

Fine. But this time, I get to be Voldemort, and you have to be Wormtail.

~Snape

Dear Snape,

Merry Christmas

Santa

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Dec 23 2007, 16:25

xD

Santa,

No more coal i hope this year, you old fart.

-Severus

Severus,

Inclosed is a cat. Take care of it or else.

-Cissy

XD(was goosed)

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Mon Dec 24 2007, 07:18

Cissy,
I'm sorry to say that the cat passed away in an unfortunate kitchen accident. *cough, cough*
I'm very sorry!

Severus

Sevvie,
Why do you always have to be mean to your many admirers?

Harry P.

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Tue Dec 25 2007, 09:20

Harry Potter,
are you going gay? because I can call Dumbledore... we have "death phones" I only want women to admire me.. sheesh
Snape

Dear Snape,

Uhm... I just wanted to let you know that I love you Ask Snape - Page 9 410894

Jessica

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Tue Dec 25 2007, 10:00

Jessica,
Who are you? well, come over to my chamber ayt 6:00 tnight so i can meet you.
-Snape

Dear Snape,
Do you have an AIM adress? What is it?
- A curious fan

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Tue Dec 25 2007, 21:16

Curious fan,

My aim address is sexy_potions_master1960.

Severus

Dear Sevvie,

Do you want to meet me at a hotel?

Yours lovingly,
Lucius Malfoy

P.S. Wear the vulture hat.

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Wed Dec 26 2007, 15:48

Lucius,

Tell me the time and the hotel and i'll be there.

Sevvie

p.s. just the vulture hat?

Dear mr Snape

Your subscription to FHM is due to expire, do you wish to renew?

Yours
Accounts Personal number 151478

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Wed Dec 26 2007, 18:46

Accounts Personal number 151478,
Sure, I have sent my payment along with this letter, and a full body bind curse,, so you cant bill me anymorde.
-Snape

Dear Snape,
Did you like the litter tattoos I sent you for christmas? I have the same ones!
- Your number one fan

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Dec 27 2007, 01:46

number one fan

Oh they are Divine! Simply divine! I'm wearing one on my bottom. *wink wink kiss*

Snape.

Dear Sevvywevvy,

Hurry up and meet me, my bed is cold.

Love always

Minnie

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Dec 27 2007, 08:25

Minnie,
I will be over in 5.
-Sev

Dearest Severus,
I am in need of some of your assistance in choosing a new cane. Come around at 5 tommrow, and we will go into Diagon Alley, so you can help. Treats and fun at the end!
-The Im not dead, dont tell Cissy
Lucius

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Dec 27 2007, 11:58

The Im not dead, dont tell Cissy
Lucius,

If your not dead, and Cissy doesnt know then how come you're still living in the same house.....wait forget that, i just remembered it was that Cissy and not your son.

Snape.

Dear Mr S. Snape.

Your mental medical test is now due, please report to Healer Dipstick on floor 4 at St Mungo's before twelve noon today or face our insane collecters/

St Mungo's

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Dec 27 2007, 13:55

St. Mungos,
You cant rder me around
*avadakedvara*
-Sev.

Dear Snape,
Would you like to renew your subscruption to "Potions Haunts" weekly?
-Poytions Haunts Weekly

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Sun Dec 30 2007, 23:57

P.H. Weekly

What!? I didn't even order that! I only ordered men fashion and Snape Fan club magazine.

-Sev.

Sevvie

I took your copy of 'The Dark Side' Magazine is it okay with you?

-Cissy

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Mon Dec 31 2007, 11:46

Cissy,

If you bend it i will kill you, but I need it back by this Friday.

-Severus

Sevvie-poo

I miss you sweetie... where have you been..... You never came to my room when i asked... My bed's still very cold, come help me with it.

-Lucius

(It seems Snape is a very 'busy' man, doesnt it guys?)

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Tue Jan 01 2008, 09:11

Lucius,

Go find a house-elf.

Severus

Dear Snape,

Did you have the hots for Harry's mum?

Ronald Weasley

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Tue Jan 01 2008, 09:29

Ron,
Non of your business....
-Snape

Dear Snape,
Cissy bent your magazine gtetting in a fight over it with the Dark Lord..... wha are you gonna do to her?
- Peter Pettigrew

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Tue Jan 01 2008, 14:28

Peter,
Hmmm...not sure...any suggestions you had in mind?
Snape

Snape,
For a New Years present I have included shampoo. Please use it. If you don't, I shall know immediatley!
~Mum

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Jan 03 2008, 17:55

Mum,
You always send me shampoo and i never use it.

Snapey

Dear Snape,
Do you use motor oil on your hair?
It is black and shiney!

Curious Fan

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Thu Jan 03 2008, 18:10

Curious Fan,
No, I don not. What in the name of Merlinds Pants is motot oil? Is it somthing for a muggle invention?
- Snape

Dear Snape,
I say you lock her up in a dungeon. Oh, and Cissy said she is sorry... but you never know....
- Peter

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Fri Jan 04 2008, 13:32

Peter,
I have no idea what you are talking about the dungeon *cough, cough* Why don't you come tell me yourslelf?
Snape

Dear Snape,
Why is there such thing as homework?
Stressed Out Person

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Fri Jan 04 2008, 13:37

Stressed Out Person,

Because i said so, thats why.

Snape.

Snapeypoo

I can not deny my undying love for you any longer, please, come for me!

Mrs. P. Dursley sister of Lily

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Fri Jan 04 2008, 13:39

Mrs. P,
Though you are a filthy mud****d (screened out for young children hehe) I have also been in love with you and will pick you up at 12:00.
Your Snapeypoo

Snape,
Where is your ideal wedding?
Wedding Inc.

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Fri Jan 04 2008, 13:59

Wedding Inc.

ohhhh St Mary's Church in north Tyneside, lovely little place!

Snape.

Dear Mr Snape

if you dont mind much, could i please have my wife back?

Mrs V. Dursley

Subject: Re: Ask Snape Fri Jan 04 2008, 14:06

Mr. V. Dursley,
no.
-Snape

Dear Snape,
what is this I hear of you having an affair with my sister? I may be dead, but I thought you still loved me! *sobs*
Lily Potter

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